He's Great, But There's No Thrill.

   Stay with this person! You may get the thrill of it in time! Love is not exactly like in the movies, and not everything has to be scripted. Don't miss this boy, you'll regret it in time.

   Rather, don't waste the boy's time, and yours.

   Women like to crush you, that's why. Good guys are always in the background.

   As I understand it, you do not want to be with this young man. You have been for five years with a man who is "rude, uneducated, insults you, is jealous of you, wants you to live in the countryside." But you stayed with him for five years. And you haven't spent five months with this boy and you've almost played him. To me, de facto, you are not in a relationship. You have found a substitute to serve you, including sex. By the way, how come you don't have a thrill and you have sex ?! Apparently you're in a latent period before you find the next bad boy and dump your servant.

   I tell you right away - you are waiting for the next "bad" who, however, will smell like a "man" and will punish you as deep down as you think you deserve. But he'll tell you things like "I beat you because I love you, damn it." And you will say of him that "you have a common language." Look, you're right about that. Only then can people like you be "happy". You won't be interested in goodies like this. Comfort will come to you more, you will hate it too. And when this "bad guy" comes and "handles" you properly, you will realize that you actually hate yourself. Too bad for the boy - a classic in the genre - to give your best in the name of a fictional image of the beloved woman. Finally, it turns out that the image is only in your head, and the real person on the other side actually dreams of coming home and splashing himself in front of you with a dessert. "What dreams may come..."

   Another one who doesn't know what she wants .........

   M29 Typical woman !!! Find an unemployed alcoholic to beat you up every day, at least you'll have a thrill then

   Bet on the quota you want, then if you don't like this guy, there's no point in forcing yourself. If you sit forcibly at one point, things will end on their own. However, you should know that the other option with the filmed guys is not really an option. You are 24 .. how long do you plan to live like this? Usually women your age are already thinking about men like the one next to you to give them security. You will say that you are different and you are not like women your age, but you will be a sole for the rest of your life. Apparently you have something unexperienced, because the desire for such men appears and ends in the teen years. Bohemian life is up to date. You will realize it, but too late. One cannot live like this all one's life.

   I would stay with him. Then you find her such a person, you don't. And there are rude people and what - if he is rude to you, will there be a thrill? It will disappear in a few years, as it did with your ex.

   Isn't it possible to find someone with a thrill and a good attitude? I'm sorry that you stayed with a "simpleton" for 5 years ... but my question is what can you offer in a relationship. Imagine that you are a good looking ambitious, funny man .. or what would you like to be .. through his eyes would you choose a girlfriend / wife? The more valuable, more beautiful, more educated you are, it is normal that more men will choose you. And they will treat you with respect and be serious. In my opinion, before working on your relationship, you have to work on yourself. To feel good, to have an interesting life, to be happy with what he has. Not to expect that someone else should make his life interesting ... or that he has obligations to him. Good luck.

   I will write you what you expect. Go back to the bad boy, go to the village, spin salads to the point of fainting, eat a fight from time to time and then give birth to a child, so that you have excuses that because of the child you endured everything. And then write again in shares. no, but the title will be "I failed, but I'm to blame"

   Apparently, as a child you were humiliated in some way by your parents (maybe unconsciously) and now you are subconsciously looking for a similar family model in the future, because it is familiar to you and gives you a sense of security and familiarity. Realize your subconscious patterns and change them before you do something stupid and go with a bully and have your life in hospital or a failed marriage and children who follow his example or hate you as a parent. Even the lack of thrill is a better option than the above. The thrill is up to date anyway. But a failed life is forever.

   Leave this boy, because if you stay with him, in time you will start cheating on him, and that will ruin him. Have some dignity. From what has been written, it is clear that you do not have a serious attitude towards your friend! F29

   Most women like "bad boys", and I also do not hide the fact that it was the same with me, but when we talk about a bad boy, I do not think that all of them beat their wives, what does the beating have to do with a certain type. To me, even if he is very modest, what a guarantee that he will not change and beat you later, it is up to you whether you will tolerate. I, on the other hand, was also in love with a shy person, in general, the men I dated were completely different types. For me, everything is up to a specific person, I may not like one but I like another of the same type, for example. And in my relationship there is no thrill and attraction on my part but we have another much more significant problem.

   And for me the situation is quite complicated, mine and he is not very suitable, but we are already together, of course, but we have different views on certain things.

   I was with a girl who turned out to be something like you. We lost our time, I with joint plans for the future, she prefers intrigue, it's good that everything ended between us. I wish you success.

   You are a masochist, you need anxious thrills and intrigue. It is too safe and predictable, it cannot satisfy your taste.

   Honey, I don't think this person is the best fit for a lifelong partner. He is soft and you may find it cool how he facilitates you with various little things in everyday life, but when you have to take care of the family, to face strangers in this cruel world, you will be very disappointed. Communicate with more people and you will find the balance between the two described.

   The former is not a bad boy at all, but a simple peasant and a simpleton - not because he is from a village. Bad boys are not always uneducated, even most are smart, but do not follow the generally accepted rules of goodbye. And if there is no thrill, it is not because of whether it is bad or good.

   You are a complete egoist and hypocrite. But, the planet does not rotate because of you and your "feelings". Neither one nor the other is for you, nor you - for them. Why do you lie and give hope to the good, decent boy? And if you are alone, what will happen to you? Have you not heard that it is better not to be in a relationship than in an inappropriate one? Or is it not fashionable? !!

   You are the author's mother. She was a masochist, she was selfish, she liked a peasant to beat her, and so on. Sometimes people just don't fit in, as is the case. She can match him, but he doesn't match her. There is nothing to do, no one is to blame, such things happen. In my opinion, the decision is separation, do not waste your time, both he and he. He may suffer, but that is the situation. Love is a dangerous game. You will meet better, there are people to whom you can feel the thrill without being simple assholes who beat their wives.

   People are different. Apparently the author needs a life like a soap. Constantly have some intrigue. This guy seems to be the calmer predictable guy. So in general there are 2 choices - or to catch a lover to be interesting. Which I doubt is a special option, because so far it would have been done instead of writing here. Or to go on a friendly basis and look for someone more temperamental. Not everyone is uneducated idiots. The probability of such an infidelity, and any unexpected situations is high. But otherwise it will not be interesting to you. In general, this draws women to the 'bad boys' - to be constantly under pressure about what will happen next and to try to tame them with some sick hopes that only because of them they will change. Not that the 'good boys' can't surprise them either. But this is forbidden for them - they have certain expectations and if they go beyond the limits in which they are placed, they look 'strange'. Women what to do with them. That's why you shouldn't try to understand them. Just love them as much as possible.

   Without the thrill, fuck the relationship! You can't live with someone you don't feel anything for. Some of the commenters are very angry, but they will not sleep with the good and kind person every night. That you were selfish - well, I personally do not know people who are not, much or little, selfish, and hypocrites in certain situations, if you will. My advice is to end this relationship and tell the boy that you are not a din for another. Look for a person who attracts you in some way. And to whom you will hurry to go after work, and not to avoid meetings with him, going home alone.

   Ahhh, there's nothing to think about - running to the village quarterback to box you, and you to enjoy your great love. First learn what the word means, then make connections. The problem of people like you is zero emotional and all intelligence, zero education, zero education of feelings. Zero self-control and reason, and then - who shit in my pants!

   I am the author. I laughed a lot at the comments, at least half of them are men who have often been dumped and it's not bad to think why. Nowhere did I say that my ex was me by the way, you wrote terrible scenarios for my future. Thanks a lot for the real advice somewhere in the pile of bile and seizures. In fact, only number 18 affected some of the things that worried me about the future, and I didn't mention it. But my favorite thing was how, you see, the planet did not revolve around my feelings. Well mine is spinning. What is most important for each person is how he feels on our universal planet. Look, the opposite is going to be a kind of masochism, I don't know.

   As you "gain experience" heptane you will not have a thrill for anyone.

   Let me tell you a story. I have a girlfriend who is quite beautiful and, like you, falls for some morons to crush her. Once, among such relationships, he found a normal man. Not only good and decent, but also good looking and rich, very rich. Not only that, but he made his own money, not from Dad or illegal things. Well, she didn't like that either. There was no shiver, she cries. The thrill of communicating with a moron? With a minor? With primacy? Not that this man couldn't be a simpleton, to buy not 1, but 100 motorcycles, and much better than the village back, he took a bank loan to buy some crumb of the 2nd or 3rd hand ... just the man had outgrown these passions and was planning marriage and children with her. She, in turn, almost took it for granted. And ... at a time when the person realized things, because there comes a moment when falling in love loses its power, she got such a jerk in the ass that she felt dizzy. No explanation unnecessary, 5 minute lecture and bye. For the first 1-2 days she even thought she would return, and on the 3rd she was already in a severe panic, losing the ground under her feet. 1 year chases him then, but what kind of things he does not think, well, no and no. And now she's wearing some kind of rag, a 35-year-old joker with a motorcycle, like a high school student, already smarter, but smart men surround her so easily. She suffers harassment and settlements, she has no choice, she is alone, because at the age of 35 she is not like at the age of 25. And now for you - don't imagine that this person is soft and with endless patience towards your whims. Exactly the opposite. Yes, he loves you very much, but when he realizes that his love is not shared or worse, you make fun of him - he will punch you so hard that your ass will turn blue. You will then be here again with the topic "How to get it back", the forum here is full of such topics, why don't you read them? There is no thrill, because you take it for granted, you will appreciate the thrill when you lose it, then such a thrill will shake you, it will be the strongest in your life so far, you have never seen such a thrill to tell you :)))). Be very careful, in Bulgaria peasants under the road and over the road, moldy people with self-confidence, and all day at work they polish the shoes of such a "moldy" and "soft" and when they come home they make it to their stupid women .... those with shovel to shovel them, but normal and decent are very rare then such a thrill will shake you that it will be the strongest in your life so far, you have never seen such a thrill to tell you :)))). Be very careful, in Bulgaria peasants under the road and over the road, moldy people with self-confidence, and all day at work they polish the shoes of such a "moldy" and "soft" and when they come home they make it to their stupid women .... those with shovel to shovel them, but normal and decent are very rare then such a thrill will shake you that it will be the strongest in your life so far, you have never seen such a thrill to tell you :)))). Be very careful, in Bulgaria peasants under the road and over the road, moldy people with self-confidence, and all day at work they polish the shoes of such a "moldy" and "soft" and when they come home they make it to their stupid women .... those with shovel to shovel them, but normal and decent are very rare

   I support the opinions of number 25 and number 27. And here most of the commenters I think are pretty hypocritical people, because if this topic was written by a man who tells us that a certain girl is great, but just doesn't have a thrill for her, then you would all be writing slightly different things and dooosta more - delicate ... One such solidarity and somehow brotherly ...

   Author, say so. Here, most people are writing to pour out their grief, not to really help. Yours is not a lack of thrill - you just don't know what you want but you want it right away. Typical for women, especially younger ones. Don't worry, you will grow up and understand. Until then, live without trying to think much, it will not work. It is clear that everyone looks at themselves first. If you had discovered the great love, to think of the other before you, you would not doubt or write here. This meek man, just looking to please you, instead of taking some initiative and telling you what to do, is boring and has no thrill. You will not be afraid, many women are like that. They roared that they wanted to be independent, and when they found a man to give them the space they needed and to look them in the eye, he was not a man enough. It is clear that you do not need someone soft to always put you on a pedestal, but it is not bad to start learning to distinguish good from soft. Because the difference is huge, and quite often they are the same. The good guys may look soft, but there is a limit (as in story 34) that if you step over, you won't see anything good. Just because they don't show "muscles" doesn't mean they don't. So, when you learn, find out which one of yours is from. If it is from the soft ones - run away. If he's just one of the goodies, he's sitting on his ass. It's better to push yourself and figure out what you're interested in doing together, instead of just waiting for the boy to make you happy. and quite often they are kept the same. The good guys may look soft, but there is a limit (as in story 34) that if you step over, you won't see anything good. Just because they don't show "muscles" doesn't mean they don't. So when you learn, find out which one of yours is from. If it is from the soft ones - run away. If he's just one of the goodies, he's sitting on his ass. It's better to push yourself and figure out what you're interested in doing together, instead of just waiting for the boy to make you happy. and quite often they are kept the same. The good guys may look soft, but there is a limit (as in story 34) that if you step over, you won't see anything good. Just because they don't show "muscles" doesn't mean they don't. So when you learn, find out which one of yours is from. If it is from the soft ones - run away. If he's just one of the goodies, he's sitting on his ass. It's better to push yourself and figure out what you're interested in doing together, instead of just waiting for the boy to make you happy.

   Just because he's caring doesn't mean he's soft. Have you ever been an author in a situation with him in which he has to behave more firmly. There are people who are dedicated to their partner, but this has nothing to do with other things in life. Why did you start this relationship? In the sense of not being alone and there was no one else at the time of the meeting. Say one reason to decide to contact him

   You describe the big problem of the "modern" "emancipated" woman. Pretended to be free to do whatever she wanted, but with the emotional intelligence of a jungle savage. And accordingly he searches for savages, and then roars from savages. There is no way a thrill can appear to a man above your level, because you do not understand him, you do not feel him, there is no sharing. His feelings, his thoughts, his worldview are light years away from yours. Rationally, you may like what you present, but you can't feel it, you can't experience it, because you just aren't really at its level. Men love to delude themselves that they can make a woman out of any * abyss. Like many women, they like to delude themselves that they can make a man out of any * urvar. But at some point, everyone comes up with a mind ...

   38 described the situation very accurately. men really like to delude themselves along this line. perhaps because they have waited and hoped too long, too long. but this is also up to time - when they take off their pink glasses and see the person in front of them as he is, people like you quickly sink. And "dear" do not listen to her, she has no choice. An aging aunt who keeps singing that the real woman should know her price and is waiting for someone to give her a high one, because she is a "valuable woman with experience". And they are all "dear" :) Dobrichka, ma dobrichka, even sweet. To make you sick of banality. And she doesn't realize that she has turned her nose to the sky, and time is working against her. And the result is already 3-0 and she doesn't know that she is in the second half already and there are 15 minutes left until the end of the match :) So now it's funny because you're still young, and you're used to looking into the eyes of your fans but it's time, ask the "dear". Men are more likely to defile themselves instead of driving her into self-deception for years. And when your "depreciation" is added, there is no way for a person not to ask himself the question "what is this grumbling / board / invalid for me". I guarantee you it won't be funny in the end.

   Number 34 wrote one of the most decent comments! Greetings! Here are the things in life. But there is no one to think. Many beautiful and reckless women start thinking only when they get ugly and turn 35-40 ... when they are old and nobody wants them. YES, they want them, they look at them, for one sex different men, but not for a family. Man after 40 years. he is no longer like 20. There is no flame and motivation for success and climbing high peaks ... but in general things change a lot. I'm not saying in any case that people over this age are almost not people, but it's not like being 20 and having opportunities ... to be sought after in all paragraphs. Well, my advice is not only to women, but also to men ... to think a little more and plan things. True, very often things do not turn out exactly as we think,

   How do you evaluate something you receive when you take it for granted, or your thoughts / desires are directed elsewhere? How do you appreciate something you never believed in, or aren't taught to have eyes for? If there was no thrill and attraction, why do you make "connections" and deceive the person against you? There is no one more blind than the one who does not want to see and deaf than the one who does not want to hear - biblical wisdom.

   From thorn to hawthorn. You went from one extreme to the other. Find something in the middle. It seemed to me that you didn't like having sex with him. This is a big problem. As there is no physical attraction, there will be no chemistry. It may be good, but boring. You can do the same things. He may be too dedicated and like a puppy. It can be predictable. The fact that a man behaves well and is kind does not guarantee you happiness. It guarantees you a peaceful life. I also do not fall in love with such men. I mainly like women because sex is a priority for me.

   Let's ask a little question only if you allow it, author ... Ah, what did you personally do and how did you try to awaken the flame, the spark of the male libido and the animal in your partner? An attempt to provoke him, to irritate him, to show that you want him, but so that he dominates you? Or maybe it's enough to lie on your back?