He Never Stroked Me, Mom

   Very sadly, I saw myself as a child and the coldness of my mother, which in recent years has become open hostility and hatred. They will not caress you, do not hope, such women are emotionally crippled, they gave birth only "to go out of order" for human opinion, not because they felt a real urge to create life. It was better that they didn't give birth to us!

   Very Poetic Bravo

   The author to number 2: I wanted to tell my mother. Thanks for the "bravo". I don't know if it's poetic, but it hurts a lot. Strangely, she really does the impossible to help me, but she's not capable of this simple thing. When I try to talk to her about it, she always erupts and becomes aggressive. I also boil and it becomes a scandal. Always. I tried to explain why she was like that. But I do not find an explanation. She finds these things stupid, perverted. He thinks I'm playing, I'm pretending to be interesting. But it's not like that. I LONG to hug me. I'm past 30. Since I was a child, I have been dreaming about "mom, mom". I do not want to repeat the mistake with my child. I hope he doesn't become what I am ... He is such a sunny and smiling child, I always want him to be like that. Sometimes, however, I fight undeservedly and then I suffer a lot of guilt. Because she doesn't look at me and looks away. I don't want to repeat my mother's mistakes. I hope I have the strength to give her all the love she deserves.

   Darling, it was obvious that he would not hug you now, since he did not do it when the time was right. When you have a child, give him all your love. Don't repeat your mother's mistake. Sarah

   Extremely sad; (I hug you hard! It's not worth suffering anymore, it won't change. Just look ahead!

   You know, author, maybe your mother is not to blame, once upon a time under communism young mothers were told to kiss their children only when the children were asleep. In order not to be spoiled. In order not to lose control of them. This would make them strong and combative. Even the Bible says, "He who pities the rod does not love his child." Another maxim "Beat your ass so you don't beat your ass" Your mother may be one of those women who have believed so much in these rules that they can't accept the opposite. Since there was no place to advise on how to raise a child, the examples were the books and it was scary for Bulgarian authors not to make the child like Asen Bosev's "Mimeto" and they went to extremes, just like your mother. Now why do you keep asking her, for 30 years she didn't understand that there would be no change in her opinion. Take care of your child as you see fit, but consult somewhere, I didn't like your words "she doesn't look at me and look away", maybe you spoiled her a lot? It is not normal for a small child to be angry with his mother, even if she has scolded him severely. If you are under 8-10 years old what will you do in your teens. If you are not embraced as a child, when you grow up, the embrace becomes a special ritual for you, something significant, something most important and memorable. And one has no correct idea of ​​feelings and their expression. He expects strangers to embrace him with love and is often deceived in his feelings. If you are under 8-10 years old what will you do in your teens. If you are not embraced as a child, when you grow up, the embrace becomes a special ritual for you, something significant, something most important and memorable. And one does not have a correct idea of ​​their feelings and expression. He expects strangers to embrace him with love and is often deceived in his feelings. If you are under 8-10 years old what will you do in your teens. If you are not embraced as a child, when you grow up, the embrace becomes a special ritual for you, something significant, something most important and memorable. And one has no correct idea of ​​feelings and their expression. He expects strangers to embrace him with love and is often deceived in his feelings.

   Very touchingly written. I really liked it, although it's sad. I agree with number 6 in the first paragraph. My father beat us a lot when we were little, for everything. We lived under constant stress. But while I sleep at night, I feel him enter the room and kiss me while he thinks I'm asleep. And during the day he was a real dictator. My mother was taught that a person should be modest and always told me that I am nothing more than others, that there are more beautiful and smarter. This is not because everyone can be the best in one area and not good at another. To my surprise, however, I found out how proud she was of me in her work and how proud she was of my every success. At home, however, she is the most critical creature in the world, so critical that she is able to turn you down from any endeavor. that if she had encouraged me I would have been even more successful. And for your child, don't worry, if he gets angry, every child does. Children should not be beaten, they should be hugged and encouraged. The beaten child has a need for life.

   I recognized myself in what was written ... and in addition to purely physical caresses, I also lack attention and understanding! And I am already 21 years old ... but I told myself that one day when I have a child, he will feel loved and wanted! It makes me feel!

   A sweet girl moved me a lot and took me back years to really hurt when a mother does not hug her child, to say tender words to him. Like you, I have never been caressed by my mother to this day. BUT I already have a big son and I don't miss a day without hugging him and telling him that I love him very, very much. I hope one day your mother realizes that she has missed the most important thing for a child, the mother's caress.

   I read that in order to have intimacy in a relationship between mature people / couple /, 4 hugs a day are needed. It took 10 children to feel safe and loved. I give mine about 30 a day before and after work, on weekends - for safety :) Even if the number is not less than 10. We make them long hugs. I have good and obedient children, they are not pampered beyond the usual age. And I know this nonsense about kissing at night, it really led him to the proper upbringing in my childhood, but I do not accept it. When one is loved, one becomes better, one also learns tenderness and love. As your mother has harmed you, your child can now compensate - hug a lot and often, you will see that his hug is more important.

   „ Като майка ти те е ощетила, детенцето ти сега може да компенсира“ Абсолютно грешна представа! Детето НИКОГА не може да ни бъде майка или да ни компенсирало. Много възрастни са наранени като деца от родителите си, трябва задължително да се лекуват, не да създават други хора, които от своя страна да повреждат. Номер 10, най-сериозно те съветвам да потърсиш съвет при детски психолог, защото просто не е нормално да даряваш прегръдки на децата си по норма. Привързаността си можем да изразим и по друг начин. Рискуваш да задушиш „дечицата си“. Не си разбрала, че от момента на своето раждане, детето ти е ОТДЕЛНА личност, човешко същество. Любовтта не се изразява в мачкане и целувчици, а е много комплексна. С твоите мачканици дори можеш да навредиш на децата си, така както студената майка е навредила на автора. Тя обаче обича авторката, правила е много неща за нея. Не може физически да изрази тази обич, защото самата е наранена като дете. Не е толкова просто - ами роди си дечица и ги прегръщай по 30 пъти на ден бла-бла. Така се създават болни деца от психически болни родители.

   Hello, Author, what you want I want from my daughter ... I have always caressed and caressed and kissed her, but she runs away ... I feel just like you. Why and what bothers her, I, like your mother, have done and am doing everything for her - I have given my life now and before, but nothing - she was great ... I sincerely hug you, and very much!

   I am an adult, I am already a grandmother, but I love children and grandchildren so much, I constantly hug and caress them! They are kind, gentle and loving. They come by themselves and hug me! I grew up with a lot of love, but without a father, you left early and I didn't see him. I have missed this father's protection and love all my life. But my mother was wonderful !!! He loved me endlessly and always repeated to me how much he loves me !!! She always caressed and hugged me, even a big one, she held me on her knees and she was happy. Suddenly she left, I can't feel sorry for her! My tears do not stop even now as I write these lines. I miss her so much to see her on the doorstep and to greet me with a warm hug and a lot of love. May my dear child, your children and grandchildren give you this love you deserve !!!

   Reading this is as if I wrote it. My mother really helped me, but she never hugged me, she never wanted to share with her. She never told me anything to make me feel loved. But now I have a small child and I constantly hug him, tell him I love you and try to give him all my love. I wish you to experience this feeling one day.

   Touching, as if I wrote it :(

   Strange I do not hug my child or kiss him. I am disgusted by such actions. On Saturdays and Sundays I make him sit in his room and watch TV or do whatever he wants just not to tease me. F31

   God bless the children of the emotionally crippled creatures.

   16, is this a joke?

   Very familiar. It's like I wrote it. My mother has always been harsh with me, my father and my sister. My father and I have even slept in separate rooms for more than 15 years. No closeness, they had always quarreled before, now they didn't seem to care. They turned 60 years old. My mother never gave caresses. She never praised. She has always been critical, rude, sharp, nervous, irritable. I grew up very isolated. I kept away from people, I was afraid to talk to anyone. I didn't play with the children, I stayed at home alone. I'm on 31 complexes now, as many as you want, I can barely keep my connections. By the way, I've never been out of touch since I was a teenager. I kept clinging, to madness, I couldn't without knowing where the boyfriend was, who he was with, I always wanted to hear each other, I called, I was annoying ... Now I have a wonderful man by my side, but I'm madly jealous, I have a very strong fear of separation, I keep asking stupid questions like "Do you love me? Are you bored with me? Do you want me to be different?" and what not, and we are already mature people. I constantly think about how I grew up and I realize that it's all because of the attitude at home. Extremely insecure, extremely. I do not have the self-confidence that someone would truly love me ... I have been pregnant for a month, not a day goes by without me wondering how I will cope with the child, whether I will not repeat my mother, I have no other pattern of behavior. And to my friend his mother and father ... like eagles they are above him, he is 30, but they call him all the time, ask him how he is, help him, buy him presents, talk, send each other kisses on the phone ... . And I? They only call me if there's a reason, a super business conversation and that's it. I've been hell-bent all my life,

   But I always hug and kiss my children; the grandson; friends. This is what everyone should do. I always criticize, but I don't give up the habit of hugging

   Author, apparently it's just her character .. Grandma is the same, that's how she raised my father and uncle .. When I was growing up, my father was more restrained, he didn't show his love. It has changed over the years, now I am 19, my brother is 25 and I see the difference. As we pass each other at home, he extends his hand to embrace me. It is difficult to eradicate something from childhood. How do your mother's parents treat her?

   I was not caressed, the same story. But I don't want to anymore. I haven't considered her a mother in a long time, so I don't miss her in any way. I also suffered for years, but she is quite a manipulative person and when I realized that with hatred and anger she wants to make me feel unloved, I stopped believing in her for anything. She is completely indifferent to me. To visit, but rarely, and I prefer not to see her at all, but I just have some duty and respect for old people, especially relatives and all sorts of things. He's only looking for me for money and services. On March 8, he told me - I will not congratulate you because you are not your mother, you will hardly ever be. It didn't hurt. I don't care anymore.