Help me, please! I am in a hole from which there seems to be no way out ... I have been going with my boyfriend for almost 3 years, we know each other perfectly, we love each other, we fight, we are friends ... He is everything to me! Or at least it was ... 2 years ago I met my colleagues from the university and almost immediately a boy made a very good impression on me - he was nice, sweet, funny and very smart. Maybe, fortunately, we didn't end up in the same company, so our contacts weren't that many. The other colleagues always thought the company I was running in was probably boring and too serious, but now we made a pretty good outing the whole course and in 3 days they saw us in a different light - happy, drunk and mostly relaxed. My relationship with my friend is very strong - we can't do without each other even for a day, and I spent 3 ... For us, even kissing or just hanging out with someone else is a kind of betrayal and I stick to these principles, but I feel that I have ignored them myself. I haven't slept with this boy, just as much as I'm ashamed to admit, I got very drunk, which hasn't happened to me so far. The whole company was at a high level, from the beginning of the party the dancing started. Then everything is based on my stories ... We drank, we danced, and I was trying to like him all the time and I don't know if it worked out, but at some point we were together and I told him to go and be together. we go to bed, but he is like a real gentleman - according to the narrators he told me that we will not go to bed together, but he will take me to bed ...
He really is a very nice person. He didn't say anything to me in the morning, but his eyes showed that he remembered. Fortunately, I didn't read any ridicule or mockery in them, just a reflection of the questions in my head: "Did this mean anything to him?", "Does he know I like him?", "What should I do now?" .. I guess for most of you this incident may mean nothing, but it threw me into a frenzy and panic. I love my boyfriend, but I'm crazy about this boy. I thought of apologizing to him and telling him that I was sorry I had exposed myself that way, but the opportunity, or rather the courage, never came to me. For the next few days, I kept glancing at him, but I didn't know what to think it should mean, I was just reading a study in him, as if trying to understand what I was thinking. I told my friend that nothing had happened, but then by chance, my friend called the other boy "Your X" and some questions started about what happened when I told him that nothing interesting was happening ... I pretended to be stupid and said that I didn't remember anything and I supposedly asked her what happened there ... We made up with my friend, that since I don't remember, she joked with me, when in fact he was supposed to take me down, which was the most pathetic thing in my life. We covered things up, he calmed down, but I don't stop thinking about the other one ...
I feel sorry for my boyfriend because I hate to lie to him, but I know him to perfection. Now my dilemmas are in the foreground - "To tell or not to tell my boyfriend about these feelings?", But it will ruin him, I will hurt him a lot, so I prefer to keep this secret to myself, and the other dilemma I have "Should I hope for something with the other boy or better to forget him ?!" I know the answer to both, but I prefer you to advise me too ... How would you act in my place? !!
1 switchava answered
It's obvious how principled you are. If you were and if you loved him, you wouldn't get drunk and fish with others. When one loves, other objects of desire do not exist. You sound like a frivolous 16-year-old. If you have at least a little conscience, get lost and leave your so-called boyfriend alone. Better alone than with a liar who knows how to manipulate to perfection.