Hello, dear readers and moderators! I want to share my story simply because it makes it easier for me to speak. To hear that I'm not the only one and it's not that scary. I am currently 26 years old. I had a relationship for almost two years with a man of the same age. From these two years, a year and a half of cohabitation. My biggest love so far. We have not had scandals, living in harmony and understanding. There were petty arguments that never escalated into shouts and hysteria. We went on vacation, went out with friends and I think we had everything we needed. We are not rich, we work and earn a decent income to cover our needs. One night (Monday was like day) he just came and told me he didn't want to be with me anymore. The day before we hugged all day. He told me how much he loved me and I was all he needed. Only he needs me. Yes, he told me on monday night, i was in shock, i didn't know what to say and how to react. I just told him I loved him. On Tuesday I didn't know what was going on, I went to work, but I left and went to my sister. I stayed with her until late, I was afraid to go home. Eventually I came home and he was gone. He had moved out. He made the decision in three minutes, and the next day he was simply gone. He went to live in misery, slept on the ground, has no bed, no bathroom, bathes in the gym, and has a job from which he earns a decent income, he can rent an apartment. This happened a month and a half ago, just before the holidays. What happened to me? I haven't worked the last few days. I stayed with my sister and cried all day. I called him two days later, at least to tell me what had happened. He said he didn't love me that much anymore and thought it was best. I couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe it was happening. I didn't sleep, I just cried and denied the truth, pinching myself in the hope of waking up from this nightmare. I resorted to sedatives. I had a rag with them, but the pain was gone. I wasn't crying, I was just looking at a point. That's how I spent Christmas.
Shortly after Christmas, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I stopped the pills. I went to be shot and stabbed. I started going out during the day and in the evening, at least everyone had free time. I started drinking until the New Year. Then I went to the hospital with alcohol poisoning. I said "STOP". What am I doing? I will kill myself. The picture is not so bad. I'm young, I look good, I'm educated, I work and I support myself, there's no reason to take it so badly. And so the severe crisis passed. Only emptiness remained. I have decided to recover. I go to a psychologist and talk to anyone who decides to listen to me. It's getting easier. I realized how many real friends I have. I owe it to them to get my old back back as soon as possible. I will do it for them and my relatives, because they love me, because they support me, and I realized how great nothing I would be without them. I last called him on January 3. I haven't looked for him since. He has called me four or five times this year. He asks how I am, I let him know that I am fine. He did not apologize, he did not want to return / I did not ask him /. I wonder if I will ever know what happened. The questions torment me. I go to bed and get up with this thought. I feel an incredible love for this person and at the same time, a huge disappointment. From a purposeful person who knows what he wants, I have become a child. I'm wandering right now, I don't know what I want. I get up and go to work because I have to. I have no goal, I have no ambition. I don't even know if I want this person back to me. I don't even think about looking at another man. I am disgusted at the thought that someone else may touch me. I know the story is chaotic. Here are the summary stages: 1. Roar 2. Soothing 3. Alcohol 4. Just emptiness To the questions "What's going on? What's wrong?", I have no answer. I just do not know. Thanks for reading! Last note - there is no other. I know you can't be 100% sure, but I think so.
1 harly_queen answered
Find a settled man who wants a family, a home, a wife. You're stuck with a set, Amy won't be, 26 men aren't over 30