Hello. I am 21 and I am supposed to have enough experience with the topic of love in our time, but I am facing a very disappointing question. It's about a boy, and he's 21 and we met online. We liked it right away. He studies his specialty in my field and our views on things overlapped as much as possible. I realized that he was moving from city A to my current city and the university where I am. At first he was disoriented and I helped him adjust and learn everyday things like where to wait for the bus and more. We met often, wrote to each other constantly and over time became friends. The music we listen to is the same and that brings us a lot closer. He says that I calm him down and that he agrees with me on a lot of things, and not by force, given that he argued a lot with people. We write to each other all day, we share many secrets. Even as a friend, he invited me to sleep with them, and regularly during the week. We eat, talk and have a good time. After the second sleep he opened the question that maybe over time this friendship was built up, I then did not stay to sleep in them and he was disappointed that I was leaving. This prompted him to ask us to clarify our feelings for each other. Then we talked and he said that over time I became nice to him and that he did not look at me collegially as in the beginning. I told him that I had different feelings and that I enjoyed being with him, I even told him that I liked him. Then he suggested that we wait and think about the situation, because the relationship was a complicated thing, and before that he had suffered a lot from his ex and was cautious. As a person he is calm, kind, motivated to achieve his goals and I would say that he has outgrown his age. Sam said that the most important thing for him is to get along with his boyfriend one day and share that they are close, except for sex, of course, which was not the main thing. He takes care of me, asks me how I am and often looks me in the eye. I think he is too scared and now he has devoted himself to studying, and that is very important for him. He says he wants to have a girlfriend, but that would happen on its own. I feel that he stops, he knows that I like him, my eyes shine when I am with him, and this can be seen. Such a boy meets once in many years, I have not met, I would even say. We are still writing to each other now. It's been a month since we talked about our feelings. So far no one was able to send in the perfect solution, which is not strange. I have been suffering for a long time, my moods are influenced by whether he wrote to me and when I will see him again. I feel powerless and I dare not open the topic to this, I'm afraid that with the conversation I will lose him as a friend, and he is valuable to me in this way. My friends make me ask him and calm my mind at last. In fact, on December 8, I decided to be with him and his colleagues. Until then, I can't wait to put up with this ambiguity, it eats me up, it's tiring to think about it all the time. Please post my story. I haven't had such a dilemma in a long time and I really want advice. Thanks.
Answers 10
In fact, there is clarity - you have both admitted that you are not just friends. In my opinion, he is not sure exactly how you accept it, because so far, as far as I understand, you have not shown sexual interest. And this is quite important for a man, no matter how much he claims otherwise. If you want to speed things up, don't ask him anything, but seduce him.
I'm sorry, but at this age people don't break out of thinking, they get into relationships because their hormones boil and boil. Especially if they feel someone close and they are happy to be with him. I don't know why your friend is so careful. She looks like a gay man who is friends with a girl. I may be wrong, of course. Investigate whether he really had a girlfriend.
Quite a frivolous story on both sides. Either clarify yourself once and for all or just drop the stupid drama.
If you talked about feelings and how sex is not important ... the boy has a serious sexual problem and he has not "encountered" it yet. I bet 95% on that! You can check if I'm right or not, you're still a woman, you should know how ...
He had a girlfriend, and he's not gay, and I tried to seduce him in some way, but he didn't get it, and I'm not like that to force things with female beauty. I rely on my normal beauty, I support myself, my hair, my manicure, I smile at him, but I don't want to do some tricks like "I want you right here and now". And I don't believe there is a sexual problem. We commented on a lot of sexual topics, there were some things from past relationships, for example, but within normal limits. The author
I want to explain this to you - a normal man at this age has nothing to seduce him, because he should be naturally seduced. If there are sexual desires, but some super restraints is different. But how many men would it take to be in a bed or apartment with a curled-up woman and pretend to be hit? Instead of sitting and wondering what's going on, try to clarify your situation, don't you talk and share a lot? Ask him directly how he perceives you, about sex, his intentions towards you. He behaves quite slippery and this is definitely in his best interest. He mentioned that sex was not important. He may not be good at sex and therefore avoid the moment when the truth will eventually shine. That's why it brings him more to talking, music, sharing and waiting. Definitely, he is afraid of coming to an end and the reason is in him, not in you.
The others are right. I think he knows he's not big and he's worried. More precisely, he knows that he is small. Men behave just like him when they are insecure. They say that sex is not the most important thing and they postpone it. I have a lot of sex and I am annoyed by such men. Everyone says what good children they are, but who cares, as in bed they are useless. I see that you are not like me. If you want something to happen to such a man, you will have to play the man in sex. Such a person is so insecure that something will happen if you sit on him and you are the water. However, if you like, like me, a man to be dominant, to oppress and drive you crazy, it will be difficult to do with this one. He is in love, but he is passive. There are many such men. I have such friends, they don't decide on anything if you don't do everything yourself, but that repulses me. That's why we are just friends. If you are not repulsed by his passivity, try it. However, I bet on 10 cm as physical data, because I have met at least 5-6 like him.
As long as the author wondered, directly raise the question of why she avoids such intimacy. Honestly, to sleep twice in them and not "sleep" is actually absolutely indicative that he has a sexual dysfunction of which he is ashamed or asexual and needs therapy.
In the end, he said to himself, without opening the topic, that he had never met a girl who was right for him. I'm just wondering how you like someone so much and take them for something different, and then suddenly stop? The author
Author, you confuse "something different" with "I'm in love". You hear what you want instead of what he means. When something is not quite clear to you - ask. Without quality communication you will not have any long-term relationship.