I'll be thorough. I'm 23 years old, and he's 28. We've been in a relationship for four years and a few months. We lived together for four months with his parents. We have financial stability and we will soon have our own home. So much for the good and the problem. He doesn't want us to get married... to the question I asked him, "Do you want to get married? ", he replied that it was too early for him. I don't want to push him, so I didn't ask him anymore, but how long did I wait?
Answers 40
1
karthik1209 answered · June 24, 2020
There's nothing to wait for when he doesn't want to. This is done by mutual consent.
2
dylan_90 answered · June 24, 2020
Honey, these days, marriage is just a big party for the family. And you've only only lived together for four months, which is a very small time to get to know one person completely. Yes, your relationship has been in the relationship for four years, but you've actually been something of a family for only four months. So what's the hurry? If he wants to propose to you, he'il do it, but if you insist too much, you're going to disgust him with the idea. I was just as sorry as you were when I got married, and then I regretted my hasty decision, and we ended up getting divorced. So just do not force things, because any rush in this regard in 90% of cases does not end well. With or without marriage, it's important to love and support each other, and the other, as I said, is a big party and a formality that doesn't guarantee you that you'll live happily ever after.
3
sunnyxdonny answered · June 24, 2020
Now, if you wait, there'il be no marriage... I saw him from my acquaintances.
4
collegebro227 answered · June 24, 2020
It's an interesting topic. But you're not exhaustive, on the contrary.
Why would you want to wait for him?
What exactly changes the signature on the marriage certificate?
If you get along and live together?
Whose financial security is this? Nogova, your parental help?
Is the future of his own home his or yours, the two of them equally? Whose name will be the notary deed and the eutl. Loan?
For potential children nowadays, it also does not matter whether the parents are married.
Unfortunately, these days, women are pushing for marriage to put their hand on something that a man already owns. Or at least use it if they can't cuddle him completely.
Benefits during marriage are common, with few exceptions.
That is, if the man breaks his ass from work, and the pretty one drank his nails on the sun lounger of the bassein with girlfriends in that time, eventually the purchased property and the man's savings became GENERAL. Ha, what's up?
But if the pretty one grabs her kid and gets out of here, it's only on paper, but she practically lives with mom. And the punk's coming to see him or pick him up, bring gifts and pay the alimony...
The mercanility of many women and the laws of many states make men cautious and smart.
Less clever people scream after a year and another how they've been replaced by a more promising man.
It's enough just to dig the themes back in this forum...
5
skinnytinyy answered · June 24, 2020
I never understood this (mostly) female obsession with getting married at all costs. What happens when you get married? He's going to love you more? You're going to think he's already tied up and won't be singable? Sincere love is not witnessed by any signature and a fair for 200 people. It's built on a lot more, as I'm sure you know yourself, and a wedding won't change anything. Not to mention how pathetic it is for a woman to please her husband to honor her with the "great offer." Girls, pull yourself together! It's very sad... you look like desperate and insecure aunts who have clung to their man as if there were no others. If he doesn't want to get married, leeks big. If everything else is fine, that should be your last concern. Marriage is not the equivalent of eternal love and inseparability. Examples, unfortunately, there are many.
6
mountainjon answered · June 24, 2020
Author, I have a question for you
Are you both involved in the purchase of the home, because if it is the case and without marriage you do not have to sleep under the open sky!
7
anita42 answered · June 25, 2020
Have an open conversation to understand your future intentions. It's his right not to want a marriage as you wish. If for both of you, everyone's understanding is too important and no one is inclined to compromise - there are other partners.
G
8
sicilianstallion93 answered · June 25, 2020
Girl, what's the rush to this marriage?
You're too young, you're too little in cohabitation, you need to develop your relationship, you need to improve yourself on a personal level.
Marriage and children won't run away, don't push it, if you don't want to lose it, men hate to get into them, and so do the dramas.
Enjoy what you have, because tomorrow he might be gone.
9
cristalhill answered · June 25, 2020
What it's like to get married, nowadays all marriages end in divorce, he must be crazy to get married.
10
catwomanvsbatman answered · June 26, 2020
I'm 23. If I were him, I'd run away from you. Nowadays, marriage is not obligated. It's too early for me. Not to say I'm working and studying right now. I'm going to have my graduation and state exams this year. If i don't have a like you, I'm going to beat her up. Besides, they're going to give me kids a break without me wanting it. I'm just going to shoot her on a ballistic curve. I really hate to get involved, push me and set a tone for life on the outside. I had to do that. I'm judging what, when, with whom. No one can interfere with me.
11
emily_vader answered · June 26, 2020
Excuse me for the curiosity that, but tell me how to achieve financial stability and own housing at this age?
12
curved4pleasure answered · June 27, 2020
And what's the hurry? Check the internet half the marriages end in divorce. The wedding doesn't give you any certainty. Nor is it proof that he loves you very much.
13
spaceloop9990 answered · June 27, 2020
You should've asked that. In general, learn not to curl up and swallow, but to put the problems to comment. Also, get ready to hear things you never thought of.
The Bulgarian men are complexes. afraid of being robbed. That's why you have to make a decision for yourself. I don't know if you know if you know, he's doing his job very well.
14
mampishona answered · June 27, 2020
I personally do not understand these "cohabitations". If a man truly loves a woman, and she wants a marriage, he should not pull. Marriage is an open statement to the public that you have created a family. A real man should not hide behind convenient explanations such as "it doesn't matter if we love each other." Come on, it's not like that. This, in my opinion, means that he is simply not ready to go all the way in the relationship - so he is comfortable. Usually such extravagances are paid by the woman. And if he insists on such a pending position, act in principle. If he loves you, he has to marry you, with all the legal and moral consequences! I don't speak of church marriage at all so that I don't be declared a religious fanatic, but the truth is that, in my opinion, marriage has full value, only as an oath of eternal faithfulness to God. The couple then received help from The Times to deal with the difficulties. But where are you... people don't want a signature in the civil to put, let alone swear to death. I'm sad for your parents. You have my prayers!
15
camixxx2 answered · June 28, 2020
I personally do not understand these "cohabitations". If a man truly loves a woman, and she wants a marriage, he should not pull. Marriage is an open statement to the public that you have created a family. A real man should not hide behind convenient explanations such as "it doesn't matter if we love each other." Come on, it's not like that. This, in my opinion, means that he is simply not ready to go all the way in the relationship - so he is comfortable. Usually such extravagances are paid by the woman. And if he insists on such a pending position, act in principle. If he loves you, he has to marry you, with all the legal and moral consequences! I don't speak of church marriage at all so that I don't be declared a religious fanatic, but the truth is that, in my opinion, marriage has full value, only as an oath of eternal faithfulness to God. The couple then received help from The Times to deal with the difficulties. But where are you... people don't want a signature in the civil to put, let alone swear to death. I'm sad for your parents. You have my prayers!
16
turbo_girl answered · June 28, 2020
What are you pushing these men for to marry you?
These are the first chains that nail stressful
Second-largest stress and mega big expense
It's past the time of the bachelor tax or the misunderstanding from neighbors that you live without marriage.
Live your life
17
avalanche_of_love answered · June 28, 2020
I think you've waited long enough. The man does not want to be bound, especially since it suits him - especially if you are already sleeping on a family basis...
Too bad for the missed time. It's a sick situation, and it needs to be resolved decisively. It is not worthy for a man to hold a girl "on a syjim", destroying the most important years of her life, and ruining her chances of rehoming.
You've already talked to him enough, and if he's deaf, you've got to let him look for his custody. It's painful, it's frightening - I know - but it's the right thing to do.
18
sweetcouple_96 answered · June 28, 2020
What do you need a marriage for at 23? I'd get married before I had a child.
19
cockbreaker answered · June 29, 2020
Why did you even bring this up?
You've only lived together for four months, at least as far as I understand it. Against the background of a 4-year relationship, this is extremely little time.
Maybe he wants to wait and see how your own life works. He's obviously a guy who makes the decisions in his life, and that should make you happy.
Otherwise, between you and me, I don't see how marriage will change the relationship between you and the standard of living you have in general.
Why don't you just enjoy your relationship? There's plenty of time for everything else, you're only 23.
20
violettandpink answered · June 29, 2020
Sweet girl, not him, and you're too early. Look how you're going to do it, don't rush with the kids for now.
As for marriage, if you think a marriage guarantees you something and that you'il be happier if you're married, you're wrong. My profession is such that I have many observations on a variety of pairs of Bulgarians and foreigners. I've seen all sorts of times, but I'm going to sum up - a man if he doesn't love you, marriage doesn't matter. Marriage can't "tie" it to you, nor does it necessarily give you emotional or material security. With a signature or no, the important thing is to love each other. It's not the end of the world if you don't get married. On the contrary, you guarantee peace of mind if he has credits, for example. As his wife, you owe you, too, but if you don't have a marriage, no one can claim you. It's just a small example. :) It's not always about commitment. Besides, if you're married, he'il think you're in his arms. While without marriage, there is some tension. :))
But if you're a smart girl and you're so keen to get married, there's a way to make him want it yourself. It's not going to work if you ask him if he wants a marriage.
21
edenasia answered · June 29, 2020
Why are you proposing to him? Shouldn't a man propose, or am I from a bygone era?
It's not too early for him either, but you definitely do. You're 23 years old- what kind of marriage, what 5 leva? Have fun and live your life! You'il think about marriage after you've been through 25 or 26 years. And if I were a man, I wouldn't marry a 23-year-old girl - what did she see in life- does she have a good profession, is she independent, can she get better in more tangled situations?
It doesn't look like a good offer to him, and that's why he doesn't want to marry you.
G28
22
fruitypelvis answered · June 29, 2020
He told you it was too early, not that it was too early. It's pretty telling that he doesn't want to commit to it all the way. I'm not sure what I'd do if I were you, but you definitely have some discrepancy. Maybe you shouldn't wait more than a year if it's important to you to be married, and it's not for him.
23
mosterr325 answered · June 29, 2020
I think it's early on, 23. He's not that small.
Besides, he may not be sure of you or, more likely, in himself.
24
want_me19 answered · June 30, 2020
Do you seriously think that the absence of a document is a problem, or do you just want to show up in a white dress and throw thousands of levs for it? You were 19 when you left with this guy, are you sure you can be with him for the rest of your life?
I'm a woman, 31, for the record...
25
gangbang_and_girl answered · June 30, 2020
Very often, opponents of marriage argue with the cost of the celebration. Well - marriage is not equal to a wedding (not to mention that from wedding to wedding there is a huge difference), and you may be interested even in the differences in fees in the Ritual House, when marriage occurs during the working week or on weekends. I do not mind that some people DO NOT want marriage, but this argument is simply illogical!
G
26
murgscaesar answered · June 30, 2020
And Number 23 is just in the ten! Perhaps this is also the most valuable opinion in the subject, because it is purely psychological whether it speaks in the singular or the plural. Although acquaintances can deliberately manipulate statements in this way. But it is also understood with time, experience and familiarity with the psychology of communication.
Body language also matters.
He doesn't have to have long-term intentions for you, but it's possible that. It's a matter of understanding, and we don't know you to give general conclusions. But you think about your own priorities and whether he could fit into what you want out of your life. You're the most important to yourself! As well as he is most important to himself! We just need someone with our understanding.
G
27
siberiantattoogirl answered · July 01, 2020
I mean, he doesn't want marriage just legal, or does he not want to be involved long-term at all? If it's the first thing I think one of you should compromise, that's not much of a problem. If it's the latter, then it's already a problem.
By the way, even though I'm a man, I care about marriage. Yes, for some, I may be behind, now it's fashionable for everyone to live with their partner without marriage. But I don't like that. I mean, I understand you perfectly, and you're in your perfect right to want. But if he doesn't want to, one of you has to step aside, otherwise you just have to split up.
I think you just need to clarify and everyone can speak your point of view openly and look for some compromise.
28
bagofsphincters answered · July 01, 2020
I think ask him if he wants to have children in the future. By his reaction, you'il know if he has any serious intentions for you at all, or he's taken you to him just to make him comfortable knocking at any time. If he has serious intentions for you, marriage may swallow him, but keep in mind that his reluctance may be an indication that you're not part of his long-term plans. Or he may just feel too young to marry, but if he is, at least he should have some future intentions.
29
sweettcandy_ answered · July 01, 2020
If someone really loves you now, you don't know in three months if they're going to love you, and you want to make deals for 60 years...
30
cataliana_mega1 answered · July 01, 2020
The girl doesn't ask what your opinion about marriage is, etc. In my opinion, think about the apartment - you two pay it, who gives what money, whose name it will be written on, for that worry.
There's a big difference being you signed a marriage and not being. I lived two years on a family basis before he proposed. The attitude of the relatives, society is quite another, even our relationship became much stronger and realized after the signing. The wedding is a wonderful experience, do not listen to what they tell you, that it was a party for relatives, a show, etc. Ask him if he even wants to marry you, how long it will take, and then think about waiting for him. You're really young, but four years is a long time. If he tells you he doesn't want a marriage, and that's for him, and marriage is important to you, run.
Before you buy the apartment, clarify your relationship
31
victoriadoll01 answered · July 01, 2020
He doesn't want to marry you, author, that's all. Look out for someone who wants to.
32
8inches4you2 answered · July 02, 2020
I'm for marriage, but church. A civil is simply something like a contract with a bank or a mobile operator, for example. Separately, the wedding has become an extravagant industry. The biggest problem with marriages is that people don't understand their meaning. The point of marriage is that you swear to be together forever, notice - "forever." It's not said as long as there's a thrill, whereas the situation is pink until I've found a better/good and similar. It is called forever - for better and worse, in sickness and in health, in wealth and poverty, not in good health and wealth otherwise bye. So the two people who swear are no longer two, they become one at this moment and in the future. Given that the beginning of the destruction of this institute took place as early as 1792 in republican France, when the "divorce" was institutionalized, and since then the marriage and the family have been legally reduced to a simple negotiation of how the acquired items in the divorce will be distributed. In his secular model, he has lost a lot of his meaning. Women want to get married because they feel recognized, however, they do not respect the institute of marriage, and at the first serious problem they divorce, which makes from marriage a parody, in addition, marry to live the dream of every little girl raised with children's tales and animations - to be seen in a white dress and be the center of attention, to be the special person among all even for a day, which is something that women adore - to receive attention. What's left for the man? Well, nothing but some means of a wedding thrown in the wind, some unpleasant binding legal consequences of his signature and an unpleasant and vague feeling that from now on things between him and his mate will go only south (down), because she will take it for granted, not try for their relationship, look for him accountability, etc. Moreover, it should not be forgotten that when things become certain people become adventurous and like to discover "new horizons" feeling that if the new horizons prove better they will simply move there if they do not return to the familiar and comfortable pier. And what about the sanctity of marriage and faithfulness in such cases and the great desire for marriage that was at the beginning? Well, apparently this is not a hindrance to them and do not even think about, marriage nowadays is very desirable and sought after until it is no longer convenient then immediately becomes an obstacle from which to quickly get rid of. All this makes civil marriage a dangerous and reckless adventure, but not a church one. In church marriage, people who believe in the sanctity of marriage and family are bound for life, according to the institute of marriage, which is defined in the Holy Scriptures. In church marriage, we now have a real marriage as long as people have given themselves the opportunity to realize what it is and to act from the position of faith in God.
33
robbiemarie answered · July 02, 2020
33 - super comment. Marriage and marriage matter, I can confirm it from experience. And before that, I was before marriage.
34
cpaeveryday answered · July 02, 2020
I'm against marriage, I'm a 25-year-old man. I know it's too early to get married, but I don't want to get married because marriages aren't mandatory and then they end in divorce.
It would be best to live just like this without marriage, and marriage is a living madhouse anyway, and I don't agree with marriage. Come on, lively and healthy :)
35
eve_darling answered · July 02, 2020
Thank you numbers 23, 29, 33. I guess I wasn't exhaustive. I'm 23, for some, I may be young for a marriage that I want to be church, but I'm convinced of my feelings and intentions, and they get away with it. For me, he's special, I just want to be with him forever and in the good times and the bad times. That makes me think he's not sure if he wants to be with me FOREVER. For children, I don't mention it further. I wanted advice from people who were competent, they were in my place. Always one will be "FOR" marriage, and the other "AGAINST". My point is whether to wait for him because we love each other, or is it a sign to run to find "true happiness." After his refusal, I'm not going to push him anymore. Now i'm going to wait or leave?
36
lauralopez__ answered · July 02, 2020
Read the book 'Why Men Marry Bitch '' Sherry Argov. I think you'il answer.
37
shiny_jullyenne answered · July 02, 2020
38, well ask if he doesn't normally want marriage/cohabitation for life or if he doesn't want to. It depends on whether you have to wait or leave.
38
full_throttlexx answered · July 03, 2020
Four months is very little time, but if you live on a family basis (a big mistake, I tell you! ) this situation cannot last more than a year. There's nothing more to get to know. It's very disturbing that he's saying it's too early for him. It smells like immaturity. If after half a year most you do not decide to get married, you should leave it, however much it hurts you. You don't have time to waste. The mature person FIRST is interested in your opinion, not what FOR HIM is advantageous. Second, if he's a man and he's slept with you, he's obliged to propose to you, not to delay. So it is very convenient - any man would be comfortable, of course. It's refreshing to play like that with the time of a young woman. However, you can give him a maximum of half a year of deferral.
Every life, every relationship, above all, should be driven not by feelings, but by moral ity.
You have done well to turn around here, although most of the "smart" advice is also people immature and with almost or wholly absent moral backgrounds influenced by our debauched time.
Don't bother him for now, but after three months, lightly get the theme back on track. If he refuses, after three more, again, and if he refuses again, give him an ultimatum. If he does not comply, you should leave it. Otherwise, you'il feel like a puppy on a leash, and you'il pull.
A man who slept with his girlfriend IS OBLIGED TO propose to her marriage, not to leave her in uncertainty. If he's not ready, then don't pull her to the bed. When he's ready, and when he's married, to order then...
Marriage is a very important thing - do not listen to the songs of the "unhinged". They talk so much because they don't have enough consciousness and are considered very modern.
... Oh, people, why are you jumping into bed in the first place? Is it so important to sleep with someone you barely know? Sex very distorts and complicates things when it comes time to test seriously the intentions of the opposite side.
Let's see...
Be happy!
39
my8inforyou answered · July 03, 2020
I agree with number 33, listen to her. It bothers me that the person next to me is enough just to live like boyfriends all our lives. He doesn't think maybe we should get engaged, have a wedding or just sign. Yes, for him, cohabitation or cohabitation of family ness is normal, alongside him his friends are So, but I do not think that a girl like me, meaning I am educated and I come from a normal family with traditions , principles and norms, I deserve such treatment. I know I'm not as perfect as he is, I'm not looking for the prince, but just if we keep going, there's no way I can take this relationship seriously, and his actions don't show that, like we're going to be two roommates who're going to split the bills, and you know what it's called, the one whose parents aren't married.
It's just that these are things that I think need to be understood, because I personally don't want to waste my time and youth with someone who doesn't have the same principles and at least a desire to compromise. Good luck author, ask him if he is ready for these steps, with you the relationship is 4 years and basically it is time to such a step, because otherwise a breakup follows.
40
liiz_ answered · July 03, 2020
Number 41 you sound very demanding and demand that the man was obliged to do for the woman. Now, to see if your opinion has weight, say, after you define such "moral rules" of a man, what are the woman's obligations to the man according to your moral code? Don't be frugal, list them all!