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Love and affairs

He Doesn't Spend The Free Time With Me

By eva_7 June 10, 2020 22 answers Last updated June 10, 2020

Hi! I'm confused by my friend's behavior! We've been together for eight months now, and everything's going really well. He's the best person I know, he treats me extremely well, kind, thoughtful, thoughtful, sensitive... He's building plans for the two of them, talking to everyone close to me, accepting me unconditionally (saying unconditionally, so he's 100%!!! ). I've never had such a good and "clean" man by my side before! However, what bothers me is this : he is an extremely tidy person, straight, follows his plans. Therefore, he is reluctant to cancel his meetings with friends, or sports, to see me. Here, we hadn't seen him for four days, because he was out of town, and now he's telling me that we'll see you not tonight (because he's super tired), not tomorrow night (because he's in sports), but the next day - as planned. For him, that's not a problem and doesn't mean he has less feelings for me. I expected that he couldn't wait to see me, that I had miss his, that he would do everything he could to keep us together right now! But apparently, in his chapter, feelings are expressed differently.. I know he can't expect a surprise, he's just that kind of person - tidy and straight, but it sometimes kills me.. Should I either put up with it or talk to him that I need more attention? Would you be harmed and insulted by the person next to you? Do you spend every spare minute, or do you keep your privacy like my man? I will be grateful for your opinions and advice!

Answers 22

1
jamtramy answered · June 10, 2020
Men have needs, you're very cheeky, where am I going to ruin my plans for your kellysh.
2
candys_wet answered · June 10, 2020
No one has to spend all their free time with you, after all, intelligent people have hobbies, extra ambitions and interests, get used to the fact that you're not and you're not going to be the center of the galaxy.
3
thickstick77 answered · June 10, 2020
I'm firmly for my private time. Otherwise, it's like you're obsessed and you're glued together. Everyone needs time for themselves, their lives, hobbies and interests. I've never liked too much men, they're annoying me and they make me nervous. I've never had a thing for obsessively and being together all the time. It's the same for women who are like being hung by someone's neck. I don't think men like them. Change that in yourself, or it'il get in the way.
4
honey_lizzy_ answered · June 10, 2020
A man expects what he gives. It's always like that. You, even subconsciously, want him to respond to your feelings and desires in exactly the same way. This very rarely can happen. You should know that this shouldn't be a bad thing at all. I have a very close friend and a friend who have been together for a few years. She loves him literally, he loves her. He's the kind of guy who DOESN't express love in any way, he's just like that. At the beginning of our relationship, when we talked to her, she told me that she couldn't stand it and couldn't go on like this. She was on the verge of ending it all because they were rarely seen, in her eyes. Is... now, about 3 years later, after a short period of life for rent - they have a wonderful own house and are expecting a baby. We only have control over our own decisions and actions. It's Bratan.
5
bimalemike18 answered · June 10, 2020
And you know how to do a go, the short ton stop together and on the phone for 10 hours. Everyone has privacy even during a serious relationship.
6
sexyhotbby answered · June 10, 2020
Maybe she fixed too much in it. And that doesn't lead to anything good. Find your way and you take time out of him. Right now, he knows that and on the line when he's free. I think the boy's a no-go guy, your way is not ok.
7
gothhotwife answered · June 11, 2020
He's probably dating someone else. Just it up. And start going to the gym.
8
samantha46 answered · June 11, 2020
I as a rally racer, if I prepare the car for a race, I spend a lot of time. I can't cancel my plans for someone else. It's nice to spend time with my loved one, but sometimes I enjoy being alone, I don't like people suffocating me. I'm the same attitude I've shown. They told you people had plans, ambitions, hobbies, etc. No one has to spend 100% of their free time glued to you. Einstein said, "Aim, not people, ;)
9
_autumn_rose_ answered · June 12, 2020
My current relationship has been in contact for almost five years, and I can't imagine my boyfriend having traveled anywhere and didn't want to see him after he got home. Sometimes he might be really tired, but he'il take me 15-20 minutes and then fall asleep. Of course, the thrill after so long is not the same as at the beginning of a relationship, but seeing someone when you have other plans also means "you're a priority for me and I respect you" And no, you don't want too much. If it happens too often, even if he's super nice, maybe you should rethink how things work between you two.
10
lilxlibraxbaby answered · June 12, 2020
Yes, I'il take offense and think he's not so in love with me if he can't spend five minutes. after training to see you.
11
samysex10 answered · June 12, 2020
You're very interesting, the names you haven't remembered, and you want it to be Vanga and guess. Well, sit down and talk to him at the beginning, and my husband and I have been wrong, but i say this is not good for me, that is not good for me and we adjust, already 5 years in the dream I know what he will do. But you can't expect him to read minds when something's not okay with you just talking to the guy.
12
nattyandpepe answered · June 13, 2020
I don't think he's as cool as you describe him. He may be a good person in general, but I don't think he cares about you much. And I'm for the privacy if the partner needs it, although I'd rather have him around me most of the time. I see you don't live together, and yet he spends more time on himself. He lives as scheduled? I don't think it's OK when he's gone and he doesn't want to see you. You're just one of his hobbies, I'm sorry, but I think so. Talk to him and see what he's going to say.
13
yulisa777 answered · June 13, 2020
And why does he have to spend all his free time with you?
14
xxxzamaraxxx1 answered · June 13, 2020
Is it a scorpion sign ♏
15
kamilahouston answered · June 14, 2020
He doesn't love you enough. And not because he doesn't spend all his free time with you, but because he obviously doesn't miss you much and he doesn't look forward to seeing you. If it doesn't burn with impatience, it's only an eight-month-old, what's it going to be in five, 10, 20 years?
16
one99five answered · June 14, 2020
I'm a little like your friend and it me off how my husband doesn't plan anything and lives on improv. The good things happen instinctively-- you get up and go. In the beginning we had such a practice-we get up, we go to refuel and at the gas station we decide where we're going. It was fun, but we've also come across a lot of stupid situations from the lack of preparation. I like to know early, read about my place, make a list of luggage that I supplement for a few days, so when I go somewhere I'm really comfortable and i don't miss anything. Not to mention being a woman, I want to be nice on vacation, go on a waxing, to a manicure, to do something with my hair (they split it on me in braids), so that there I do not bother with it. I download my offline map, mark pharmacy, hospital, shop, restaurants with good reviews. And he sees that it's a hundred times more enjoyable when things are organized and again. I feel like I'm being slapped, on standby, what he's going to come up with. And when I hear a change of plan... Or we'il figure it out on the go. And yet I love him endlessly. I also rarely change my plans, and I wouldn't go after a trip like a beaten dog to see each other for 30 Min. That sounds very pointless to me. I'm going to get some sleep, take a shower, take a break, and when we see it, it's going to be quality and not for 30 Min. My biggest drama is another. I'm a person who does what he said and I'm very uncomfortable postponing an appointment, a date, something, the call "I can't come" me gives me terrible discomfort, and even sometimes I lie to justify myself more argumentatively. But what can I say? I know we've been in a week's hands, but my husband woke up with the idea of going to hell, and if I don't go, he's going to moan that someone's more important to me, and that I don't like him enough. He puts me in situations like this from time to time, and it happens to tie him up, but isn't it right that he conforms to my nature and, knowing that I have plans for days, not to make a new one? You, what do you think? It looks like we've turned the roles around, and it would be helpful for me to know if you're complying with his plans, or are you making your own, and he kind of, if he loves you, is obliged to agree?
17
mia_golden220 answered · June 14, 2020
I'm a little like your friend and it me off how my husband doesn't plan anything and lives on improv. The good things happen instinctively-- you get up and go. In the beginning we had such a practice-we get up, we go to refuel and at the gas station we decide where we're going. It was fun, but we've also come across a lot of stupid situations from the lack of preparation. I like to know early, read about my place, make a list of luggage that I supplement for a few days, so when I go somewhere I'm really comfortable and i don't miss anything. Not to mention being a woman, I want to be nice on vacation, go on a waxing, to a manicure, to do something with my hair (they split it on me in braids), so that there I do not bother with it. I download my offline map, mark pharmacy, hospital, shop, restaurants with good reviews. And he sees that it's a hundred times more enjoyable when things are organized and again. I feel like I'm being slapped, on standby, what he's going to come up with. And when I hear a change of plan... Or we'il figure it out on the go. And yet I love him endlessly. I also rarely change my plans, and I wouldn't go after a trip like a beaten dog to see each other for 30 Min. That sounds very pointless to me. I'm going to get some sleep, take a shower, take a break, and when we see it, it's going to be quality and not for 30 Min. My biggest drama is another. I'm a person who does what he said and I'm very uncomfortable postponing an appointment, a date, something, the call "I can't come" me gives me terrible discomfort, and even sometimes I lie to justify myself more argumentatively. But what can I say? I know we've been in a week's hands, but my husband woke up with the idea of going to hell, and if I don't go, he's going to moan that someone's more important to me, and that I don't like him enough. He puts me in situations like this from time to time, and it happens to tie him up, but isn't it right that he conforms to my nature and, knowing that I have plans for days, not to make a new one? You, what do you think? It looks like we've turned the roles around, and it would be helpful for me to know if you're complying with his plans, or are you making your own, and he kind of, if he loves you, is obliged to agree?
18
mariaarcia answered · June 14, 2020
Hello again! Thank you to everyone who has joined in with an opinion. On the subject - I doubt the feelings of the boy I do not have, he shows them to me with every small and great gesture, in communication, in support, in respect. Yes, he does not boil with passion, there are no violent emotions (not in his nature), but there is tenderness and care that I value and on which I think they can build a family relationship (because that is what he wants to build with me). I've got plenty of work, separate business, meetings with girlfriends... I mean, I didn't cling to it, I just sometimes dream of a spontaneous manifestation of emotion, without a plan, so that it surprises me, ditches my plans and says it, Now, at this point I want to be with you! I spoke to him about all this today, explaining to him that I feel neglected when he chooses to be home alone instead of being with me. The answer was "We don't have to be together all the time to love each other! After a while, we'il have a home and kids, so now I'm trying to catch up on men's crap, which after that I won't be able to do! ". For him three times a week seeing at this stage is great, so to have time for both workouts and rest, and for friends. He also told me that feelings are proven in countless other ways, and I can make full use of the time I have when we're not together. A logical, orderly, reasoned answer - just as he is as a person. I'm emotional, the temperament, and he's the person who balances, supports me and "knocks" me to the ground when he falls into an emotional abyss. Obviously we have differences in emotional needs and in and expressing our feelings differently, which, he says, is corrected if we are clearly talking about who goes what. How do you act in such differences in temperaments? If a man doesn't love us the way we expect us, does that mean he doesn't love us?
19
pixieddust answered · June 15, 2020
The truth is somewhere in the middle between your friend and, but. 17
20
alexnic25 answered · June 15, 2020
Babe, find a hobby, he doesn't have to be with you under any paragraph 24/7.
21
luckydread answered · June 15, 2020
The man is doing a very good job: if I'm ruining my plans just because of your hatter, he's going to be the last Putyo Marinkin, and you're going to get on his head, you're going to harass him for what he's going to do, and you're not going to cheat on him. You're lucky he turned out to be a man on the spot.
22
mmmmel answered · June 15, 2020
It's absurd for a man to be guided by a woman's whims, if it's going to be Monica Bellucci, say. Never a woman should be in the first place - otherwise she forgets herself and everything collapses very quickly. And if the woman is so simple that she doesn't understand that, you better not be with her, because it's going to be a total whim and a whine, and only kahers will have one.