Hello, I am a woman of 27, my husband and I have been living together for 6 years and we have a son of 1. I have a problem with jealousy. I'm terribly jealous of my partner, especially after I gave birth. From the beginning, I thought it was some kind of postpartum depression, but ... I have to admit to you and myself that I've always been like that. The dumbest thing is that I think of myself as an intelligent woman, and I allow this awful feeling to poison me without much reason to doubt. But this is not my problem. Rather, I want to explain to myself why I am aware of certain things, when in practice I cannot apply them at all. Here, I realize that I have a problem, it is terribly harmful to my family, my husband feels suffocated, I am constantly paranoid, even going out "in a masculine" way hurts me ... this is not normal. I also realize how stupid it is to live in doubt and pain, constantly, in a situation where that I never caught my husband in adultery. In a sense, can't I live my life, and if something happens then I will suffer !! Why can't I do it? Like nothing with these thoughts, I can attract real events, if you understand me. That's why I want to clear my head of them as soon as possible, I wonder if I don't need a psychologist. I just want to live in the here and now, in my family happiness, not in fear and doubt that something might ever happen.
I am a living example of a man "cured" of jealousy. I didn't go all the way to psychiatry, but in the past I was very suffocating and so I pushed the women next to me, I might even push someone to infidelity. One thing I can say. Do you think that if someone intends to cheat on you, by being jealous you will stop them in some way? Then why poison yourself? Your husband has not given you any reason. It will not be easy, but at least hide your jealousy, do not stifle it - we are all human and we need personal space after all and do NOT make dramas! There is nothing worse than dramatizing out of jealousy! Just grit your teeth, think positive things and it will pass with time. Julian
You know that jealousy is a disease that is difficult to cure, and love is madness. After all, it is not something unattainable. I managed to overcome this and I am no longer as jealous as I was before.
My husband, when he feels "suffocated", don't be surprised if he really cheats on you. You will challenge him.
I don't think that only the jealous person is "guilty". It also matters how his partner treats him. Whether, for example, he wants to spend more time as a bachelor or is looking for more shared family experiences. There are people who are always teasing, courting, etc. potential competitors of the jealous, so not just "you didn't catch him", but also how he makes you feel. Now, there is a completely unfounded jealousy, which is a great harassment and will not lead to anything good for the relationship. The author should think about what causes her anxiety, hence jealousy. can provide them with experience, self-confidence, etc. If there is a financial opportunity, a psychologist can also visit. And, one more thing, in a relationship there are great tensions when there are no clear signals to the partner.
It is quite normal for men to look at women (the opposite is abnormal). At such a moment, I am even pleased that my wife shows jealousy - this word is not accurate, but rather shows that she cares about you. It is not at all pleasant to be jealous of something that could not have happened. That's when I'm very worried and I ask myself, "Didn't she do something?" The attack is a defense. How can excessive jealousy lead to infidelity? !! It's just one of the many stupid excuses for infidelity. And it is stupid, because there is no excuse for infidelity! The way is clear how to be with another person.
From the Author Hello people, thank you for the comments. Seeing that there are people who have fought with themselves, I am ambitious to work on my problem. I wrote on a piece of paper in the fridge what number 2 said, "Jealousy protects me from infidelity," "Jealousy is acknowledging the superiority of the other," and the like, and I read them all the time. But the truth is that I feel alone in the battle, because my husband is not trying to create a calmer environment for me. His business involves constant travel in Europe, and his partner is a bachelor and a lover of paid love, and it has even happened that my husband and I talk on the phone for 1 hour while waiting for his partner to leave the brothel. Accordingly, it's a movie of me waiting every time outside, but he claims that we have the most amazing sex (I agree) and have no interest in paid services at all. Now he is out of Bulgaria again, but with his father, their business meetings took place at the beginning of the week and since then they have been visiting various relatives and friends living around. And I can't wait to go home, I'm with the baby all day, I can't take a normal bath, I miss him, now that he's home he'll have a lot of work and we won't spend much time together for a few days, then the weekend will come and he will go out to relax with friends. It hurts me that as if he doesn't miss us, he's not in a hurry to go home. And when he's here it's wonderful, he plays with the baby, cooks delicacies, goes for walks, in the evening we sit down for a drink on the terrace and talk, laugh (he's a super funny person) ... But that's if we manage to get in in his schedule. He told me yesterday that they decided with his father to return to Bulgaria to stay in Prague. His father to see a friend he hasn't seen in 10 years. Because of this Prague will not go home for another 2 days, we will miss my mother's birthday. I was terribly upset again and we quarreled, I told him that I would not go to their birthdays anymore, that he had promised to come home, etc., and he shouted at me that he was tired of how it was possible to I keep it that way, instead of being happy for him, that he will see a new city, that he spends time with his father ... and shut me up. Then he wrote to me that he wanted us to separate, he couldn't (and I felt that way), that he didn't want to see me or his son (because he was very upset later) and that he would only take care of us financially. Just to add that this child did not happen by accident, and after many examinations, medications and even surgery, it was a problem for me and him. We had planned in vitro, but things happened on their own before that. He was ready for a family. I'm disgusted now. I have always said that I want a man who is smart, interesting, from whom to learn and admire, to follow and follow him, we were in quarters, in exile, we overcame many difficulties. And now? !! We have a child, we have money, but he doesn't have enough, he is looking for something else, he wants another life, maybe. I hope he finds what he's looking for. I am so disappointed in how easily he gave up his son that I no longer see him, nor strong, nor admire him. I'm even sad that he will fail without us, but it's his job. I know for myself that everything will be fine, I have everything. I was so scared that we would break up, and now ... I'm not even sad, I feel a peace, without doubts, without expectation whether he will return or not. Without blaming myself, I just know I did what I could. I am writing this about women who, like me, blame themselves, living as victims for fear of losing their family. There is no 'the warrior himself is a warrior' in the family, and when you see yourself pushing the car, get out. You may not lose anything. thanks
I overcame jealousy after 7 months in this regard. Something in me just broke and stopped interesting me. I said to myself: to do what he wants, his job: - and I finished on the topic. I endured enough frustration and broken trust. And I stopped caring.
Your author, I also thought I was paranoid and jealous because my wife and I have lived together for 13 years, but the need for money forced me to take matters into my own hands and I had to go abroad. We talked for hours. I knew where he was going. as we have two wonderful children and there is no one to look after them, he had to take care of it and I had to work, it was clear, but over time things became complicated, he lost interest and at one point we have nothing to say, even now we are not. I've been talking for almost two weeks, I only talk to the children and it seems to me that there is another one, because he started to be jealous of me for no reason, I think he shifts his guilt to me and because he cheats, he thinks the same about me. I don't know how to act ???
Better a poor horse than no horse at all. And yourself, author, you have come to the conclusion that your husband is a selfish bastard, so if you do not have financial problems, you better cut and tear. That he is ready to give up his son as well - what rubbish he is. Take his money and get your life in order. But I have a feeling he won't let you. The moment you try to lose it, it will wrap around your legs. And it will all start over.
Hello author, I'm number 7. It is very fashionable to use female-pedal excuses, from "men"! Upset when he saw the child, instead of being happy to see a new city, just happy to meet new women? !! If there was nothing, he would try to dispel your fears, and he told you in plain text. You say you had a hard time getting pregnant? And he no longer cares about the child. I have four children by two women and I have had no difficulty making it unless the father is another (it should not be completely ruled out). I have a daughter from my first wife and I haven't seen her for almost 18 years (only from a distance), court documents are an inch thick. Reason - evil mother, the court gives a visit, but the "mother", no. Yes, but I'm upset I don't see her. And your husband, when did he want a child, when did he suffer and when did he get bored? !! Whatever, I'm blabbering on like this. However, most of us can be wrong about the obvious, and even so. However, if really everything else is fine, give it a try! He can talk more than he thinks. But, still, he cannot continue with the same behavior. From the position of a man, I think you have the right to be calm and not worry about your behavior. But how and how it happened, until a few days ago gave no reason to doubt, and now it is almost certain (still almost). Do not rush with actions and words. It is good for at least one to be reasonable in the family. And wishes for more children. I think you have the right to be calm and not worry about your behavior. But how and how it happened, until a few days ago gave no reason to doubt, and now it is almost certain (still almost). Do not rush with actions and words. It is good for at least one to be reasonable in the family. And wishes for more children. I think you have the right to be calm and not worry about your behavior. But how and how it happened, until a few days ago gave no reason to doubt, and now it is almost certain (still almost). Do not rush with actions and words. It is good for at least one to be reasonable in the family. And wishes for more children.
From the Author: Number 11, I want to tell you that you feel things :) that's exactly what's happening right now.
From the Author: Hello, it has become a club of those who struggle with jealousy, so I decided to introduce you to the development of things in me. My husband never reached Prague. After he wrote me the things I already told you, or rather after my reaction, which this time was just "you're right, I agree, when you arrive, come and get your luggage" obviously something happened to him because they continued directly to bg and on saturday at noon he came home with a bunch of apologies and promises. To tell you the truth, I'm the strongest on the phone, but when I see him ... my knees soften and I'm in love, just like on the first day. I could barely keep from hugging him and forgetting, but I had done it before and let's say that it is now clear to me that I will not achieve a different result with the same means. So I gritted my teeth and told him we had to live separately, to realize whether a family wants or a bachelor life. We decided to start going to family therapy as well, because in our conversation on Saturday on both sides there was an "you don't understand". I shared with my mother what I decided, she thinks I'm making a mistake. He thinks I'm taking a risk by giving a handsome, young and rich man complete freedom, he thinks he might like this life. However, I desperately need such clarity, if he likes it OK, but to like it somewhere further away. As early as Monday, I called to make an appointment for family therapy (with the thin female thought that I can't wait to see him anymore, I miss him a lot), but when I talked to the woman on the phone, she decided that she wanted us to go separately first and he made an appointment for Wednesday. They met last night and this morning my psychologist called to make an appointment. I'm super surprised by what he told me. My husband was wonderful, 100% faithful and in love with me. He said that I was like a queen among women, he praised me for an hour. And I ask her "what about my crazy jealousy, suffocation, etc." She said that she would not reveal their conversation to me, but to be calm, because my husband was "pleased with my behavior and he understood ''. I'm telling you, he's very charming. I don't know what nonsense he talked about, he was "suffocated" at home, he interfered with his business, he interfered with his friendships, he once called me a "vampire". I wonder if he goes there and says the things I want to hear or is honest. I will go on Monday. For now, we are each at home. I want to thank all those involved again. Especially number 7/11, which gave me a lot to think about. I will call you number 7. Number 7 I am a daughter like yours, and my mother (the most beautiful for me) is the "evil mother", she actually limited my contacts with my father, a NATO peacekeeper who traveled that I hardly remember in my childhood). She limited our contacts to a letter (such was our communication with my father), in which he called her a complexist because she lived with a younger man. Years later, his second wife brought us closer. She gave birth to my sister and insisted that we know and love each other, she achieved that. Now I'm closer to her than to my father, he's a great man. But anyway, what's the fact is that hey me with a man Hero, it's true he's not a peacemaker, but he's also the soul of any company, everything he is alive in admiration of him, noble, helps everyone, funny, will always figure out how to make you smile ... and also doesn't stop at home. My husband's parents were also divorced for 6 years, but then reunited. I hope we don't tell our parents again that I'm going to explode. But number 7, if I knew my father well, I think I would be wiser, more confident, more loved, maybe I wouldn't cling to other men like that. Perhaps. Ever since I gave birth, I've lost the ability to blame my parents for anything. I just wanted to tell you that it's never too late or too weird and awkward. The discomfort is 5 minutes at the first sight, then everything becomes natural. I was 15 when a stranger called to tell me that she had given birth to my sister this morning and was waiting for me to meet how much more awkward it could be. I think I would be wiser, more confident, more loved, maybe I wouldn't cling to other men like that. Perhaps. Ever since I gave birth, I've lost the ability to blame my parents for anything. I just wanted to tell you that it's never too late or too weird and awkward. The discomfort is 5 minutes at the first sight, then everything becomes natural. I was 15 when a stranger called to tell me that she had given birth to my sister this morning and was waiting for me to meet how awkward it could be. I think I would be wiser, more confident, more loved, maybe I wouldn't cling to other men like that. Perhaps. Ever since I gave birth, I've lost the ability to blame my parents for anything. I just wanted to tell you that it's never too late or too weird and awkward. The discomfort is 5 minutes at the first sight, then everything becomes natural. I was 15 when a stranger called to tell me that she had given birth to my sister this morning and was waiting for me to meet how awkward it could be.
1 rudy4312 answered
I also follow the topic. I'm like you, but I'm trying to boost my self-esteem and value myself. But it's really terribly unpleasant.