Guilt

Hello .. We have been together with a boy for almost 3 months. Everything is perfect, he treats me very well and he really loves me. Our relationship is good and it really makes my life better, makes me happy. But there is something that weighs a hell of a lot on me. We had sex and I can't complain in any way. I was his first .. he also thinks he is my first, but ... Just when he asked me if I was a virgin I automatically answered that I was .. I just couldn't tell him out of fear maybe .. or just because it's a slightly painful topic for me .. I was reassured by the fact that they hardly know each other and there is no way to understand .. but it turned out that they know each other and I think they were in 1 company before. When I understood instantly, my head filled with thoughts of how one day we will meet somewhere and my friend will understand, because I strongly doubt that the other boy will remain silent. It just didn't work out between us ... in the beginning it was okay and something could have happened, but then I realized that I was just cheating and the boy was just playing with me and somehow our relationship didn't stay very good. And I have no idea how my friend would react ... I love him a hell of a lot, but if I tell him that I lied to him, at least he will be very hurt or angry, or both. I know it would be better if I told him so that he wouldn't understand from someone else ... it would be even worse. Still, I'm not sure ... whether to tell him or keep it to myself? that he would be very hurt or angry, or both. I know it would be better if I told him so that he wouldn't understand from someone else ... it would be even worse. Still, I'm not sure ... whether to tell him or keep it to myself? that he would be very hurt or angry, or both. I know it would be better if I told him so that he wouldn't understand from someone else ... it would be even worse. Still, I'm not sure ... whether to tell him or keep it to myself?