I have a friend of 1 year with whom in the beginning everything went great. He travels by ship. The first time I left, I had a very hard time with him, but I waited for him and since then he has had great confidence in me. The second time I also waited for him. The third time, however, I almost waited for him. A week before he returned, I went out with a colleague with whom we only drank coffee during work and talked during work, and about whom my opinion was not very good at first, but later his company became very pleasant to me, but I never did. she thought of something more.
So when we decided to go to a disco, I accepted the idea as quite normal. We went out to eat before the disco and the whole evening went great, we didn't stop talking about all sorts of things, I laughed a lot, and my expectations were generally not like that. Then we went to a disco and there I also had a lot of fun and for the first time in my life almost without drinking. Even the first time I went out with someone and I had so much fun.
We talked, danced, etc. Then he took me home and told me that he had a great time and wished me good night with nothing more, but to my great surprise I wanted to go home and invited him, and he wasn't sure he should, but however, at my insistence (which I had never done before) it came in. For the first time, I had sex without doing it because I have to and because I wanted to and I couldn't explain why for the first time I liked it so much. In the morning I thought that I had imagined and that this could not be possible, he did not come out of my head, so I decided to have sex one more time to be disappointed and to continue his old age. We did it at work. I liked it twice as much, then we often started doing it in many places, not only at work, he even took me to their place, and I forgot to say that he has a girlfriend for a long time, 6 years.
And she works in the same company as me and him only in another city that is very close to us, they live together, etc. At first, I thought it was just sex and attracted me sexually, but when she told me that she was going on a business trip and invited me to go to them the night before my friend came back and I agreed I realized that there was more I tried to delude myself that this was not the case. Since then, this has been going on for 7 months now and it is becoming more and more serious on my part. He constantly explains to me how much he wants me, how good he is with me, how he has never felt like this in his life ...
I tried several times to end my relationship to finally decide what to do, and mostly because being in this situation with both of them torments me terribly, but still, I do not know obviously I do not have the strength to do it and he doesn't help me at all. I lie a lot because of him, I don't like the situation but at the same time, I can't stop seeing him. I want him to decide what he is going to do, and somehow I don't know why it's so hard for him to do it, given that all our colleagues know about us, no matter how much we hide, some things can't be hidden. He communicates almost exclusively with me. His girlfriend, too, I think she's almost certain, they've even fought over me a few times. I don't want to part with my friend because he treats me well, I haven't seen anything wrong with him, but I feel that I no longer love him the way I used to. But the reason for this is the other.
I don't know what to do, I sacrifice an awful lot of things because of 2 people in people's eyes I look like a terribly mean and nasty bitch, I risk my job because his girlfriend is the store manager, my mother's because she also holds a leading position in this company she had direct contact with her and now she has an indirect one, I realize how complicated the situation is and despite everything, I can't stop. My friend left for the 4th time now he has to come back, I was with P. all the time he was gone, now I don't know what will happen when he comes back, I'm terribly divided and I constantly ask myself the question P is it all worth it. I see that I am not indifferent to him, but if he can't take a bigger step, and I'm ready to drop everything for him ...
1 sueaddams answered
I don't think you dumped your boyfriend, and if P really wanted something serious with you, he would have already left his current girlfriend for 7 months, so that if he wanted to be really and officially with you. In my opinion, this between you with a simple sexual attraction, and since your friend is far away and you feel his lack, it happens with P. So my advice is to stay with your friend and do not complicate your life, try to overcome this with P. and put an end to it. It may be difficult, but it's better that way. Good luck!:)