Our relationship started in October 2018. Everything was wonderful, until the moment he started talking about his ex-girlfriend, too often. He mentioned that they were just friends. I told myself well, but at times he shared hard personal things. I decided he hadn't experienced it. I asked him to stop talking about her in front of me. Somehow I couldn't feel safe and began to torment myself internally. I was crying, thinking ... I decided that I was pathologically jealous, that I was overdoing it, etc., until I found a letter from her on February 14, in which it was written: my dear, I am kissing you ... and so on, which I poured over the cup. It hurt, I told myself I was imagining again and I forgave him. But the bitterness remained in me. I did something I hate - I opened his chats with her and ... as if the world had collapsed, I had opened the Pandora's box. I realized that they had seen each other secretly, exchanging gifts. They discussed me. I was very disappointed and left. I was impressed that she often flirts on social media and seeks the attention of other women. I just asked him to do it so I wouldn't see him. Voice in the desert. I never restricted him, nor did I forbid him to see anyone, I just wanted him to be honest with me. But alas .... On his birthday, before he got up at 00:00 while I was preparing his presents and telling him to go to his bathroom, he had written to her secretly from me, telling her that she was the first to congratulate him. Ah, I fool, with my great desire to make him happy to love him, remained betrayed. Now he is sorry, he told me that he never cheated on me, that I could not understand their friendship, and she left to live abroad in the fall. My love and trust just ... broke. I don't know how I could trust a man who has acted behind my back for so long, from the very beginning of our relationship. I ask for advice, but inside I am broken. I tried to understand it, to be tolerant, but at my own expense. For me, this is a kind of emotional infidelity - betrayal. I don't think this man loves me, even if he's sorry, I'm not sure we would have a common future together anymore, that I can trust him. I started blaming myself for what happened. I received advice from a psychologist to move on. If I decide to forgive him, I must forget all this and never talk about him. However, I think that everything has already passed and it was better that way. but at his own expense. For me, this is a kind of emotional infidelity - betrayal. I don't think this man loves me, even if he's sorry, I'm not sure we would have a common future together anymore, that I can trust him. I started blaming myself for what happened. I received advice from a psychologist to move on. If I decide to forgive him, I must forget all this and never talk about him. However, I think that everything has already passed and it was better that way. but at his own expense. For me, this is a kind of emotional infidelity - betrayal. I don't think this man loves me, even if he's sorry, I'm not sure we would have a common future together anymore, that I can trust him. I started blaming myself for what happened. I received advice from a psychologist to move on. If I decide to forgive him, I must forget all this and never talk about him. However, I think that everything has already passed and it was better that way.
1 milfmonee answered
Follow the advice of a psychologist. A relationship cannot be based on lies and lack of trust. These friendships with exes, how funny they are to me now. There are many such topics.