... and over the years I understood the essence ... of this beautiful word "I love", I learned to pay attention to the other, I forgot about my imperfections, completely ready to try its sweetness, completely ready to enjoy what is ... He, my beloved and beloved - the one with whom I did not know lack, loneliness. There were days when I looked in the mirror and saw it ... We love each other so much ... It's so deep inside me. Still ... Even after he left this world unexpectedly, suddenly, I see him more and more in my eyes, in the way I am made ... We are part of one world and we were never afraid to dream as much as and naively, we shared it. I knew him so well ... I always knew where he was ... what he was feeling ... Why did he leave me alone in this cold world? Why is my destiny like this? To wander like a shadow, to exist hidden behind my own form of confidence and smiles? Help ... I look at my phone and I have no one to call ... Everyone is going somewhere in a hurry and they don't want to stop. I'm looking for warmth somewhere else, even if I know I won't find it. And the silence is so strong ... It resounds in my mind every day and reminds me with every passing minute of this dead loneliness, of the violent separation I have been subjected to. I now fully realize how rare it is to find humanity instead of stupid naivety, empty promises, and the simple benefit of the extra in front of you. What I need is so rare ... That pure, rethought behind words and actions ...
I repeat ... "meaningful" ... "meaningful" ... Do you think I will ever make sense again? I am almost 20 years old, stable ... healthy, active and strong. I am afraid that no matter how much I travel, I will not find someone to impress me ... And I want to be impressed because of and despite this thought I promised to live for both of us. I promised myself to be happy, to work, to study, to smile for both of us. Even if he doesn't see me ... I have the ambition to shine twice. For us ... Will I be ... Tell me, dear unknown readers? I won't wither before someone enjoys my colors ... -30. 04. 2019 (00:37) dear unknown readers? I won't wither before someone enjoys my colors ... -30. 04. 2019 (00:37) dear unknown readers? I won't wither before someone enjoys my colors ... -30. 04. 2019 (00:37)