Fear Of People And Constant Shame

   Hello lovely girl! I fully understand you because I myself had the same problems, I understand your pain. Every word I say will be light and weak, but time will take you elsewhere. Don't worry, everything will be fine! When you go to a new place, you will meet new people. Believe me, there are wonderful people who will die to meet such a good creature. You will create friendships, beautiful moments and many occasions for smiles. Everything will be fine, you just have to get rid of these people. I myself struggled with this shame for years, but I succeeded! Everything has its power, its contribution. You will find yourself in a new and unknown place, there will be both bad and good people. For me personally, the most difficult and difficult battle is when you face yourself. Then it's scary! You have to be realistic - to give a real assessment of yourself and the life you lead. To acknowledge your problems and find their solution, because every problem has a solution. Try to repel negative thoughts, not let fear control you. Learn to keep your composure! Do not panic and stress. Be firmer and more ambitious and don't stop following your dreams. Isolate yourself from this environment and start working on yourself. For a start, try to think about positive things, to dream, to imagine life as you want it to be. When something happens and you get into a nervous breakdown - try to calm down! Breathe deeply, very deeply! Shut up and just try to keep this state of peace. Start meditating, diversifying with new things. I'm sorry because I went through the same ordeal myself and I know how you feel. You are not alone! You are a unique person, which carries a lot in itself, you just have to overcome this shame and fear. I know there is a lot in you. It's obvious ... I'd love to meet you. I'm also 18 and I'll be damn happy if I help you in any way.

   Hi, I read the story is really quite sad, but I do not think that I or anyone else on the forum can help you. I think you should leave your environment as soon as possible and visit a psychologist who will help you.

   A person with a profile like the one you describe, especially at this age - will not be aware of himself, and be so candid, even though the site is anonymous. You describe one type, but I see another. The way you write shows a conscious person who knows himself well and has accepted himself as he is. I don't believe you if it matters ... I think you're a psychopath and a sociopath who knows how to manipulate, I just don't understand - what does this 'sharing' give you here? Do you feed the victim in you, taking the pity of anonymous people? Stop manipulating.

   It is similar to Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) (personality disorder is different from obsessive-compulsive disorder, which is a specific manifestation of the traits inherent in that person). Another name for this personality disorder (according to Reich) is rigid perfectionist (rigid means inflexible, hard, stiff and is associated with the fact that these people live by highly internalized rules, expect others to live by rules, have high demands on themselves and to others, etc.). It is generally formed between 3 and 7-8 years of age and occurs when the child is not accepted as he is. As this acceptance is most often manifested as criticism from parents (or other authority) to the child for things that deliver pleasure, or a clear rejection of his achievements, or a direct insult to you. The child sees that they do not accept him as he is and begins to build an idealized "perfect" image of what it should be so that mom and / or dad can like it. Like you, I was constantly worried that my parents would shout at me for something, even though I was already 17-18. At the age of 19 I got rid of ours and I recommend you to do everything possible to get lost in another city or at least to stay. However, do not blame your parents because they did not do it on purpose. No parent thinks, "I'm going to yell at my 3-year-old now to make him a rigid perfectionist with obsessions when he's 20." so mom and / or dad like it. Like you, I was constantly worried that my parents would shout at me for something, even though I was already 17-18. At the age of 19 I got rid of ours and I recommend you to do everything possible to get lost in another city or at least to stay. However, do not blame your parents because they did not do it on purpose. No parent thinks, "I'm going to yell at my 3-year-old now to make him a rigid perfectionist with obsessions when he's 20." so mom and / or dad like it. Like you, I was constantly worried that my parents would shout at me for something, even though I was already 17-18. At the age of 19 I got rid of ours and I recommend you to do everything possible to get lost in another city or at least to stay. However, do not blame your parents because they did not do it on purpose. No parent thinks, "I'm going to yell at my 3-year-old now to make him a rigid perfectionist with obsessions when he's 20."