Hello, a 19-year-old girl is addressing you. My relationship with my ex-boyfriend was quite complicated and dramatic, but I would like to summarize the things that bother me the most. We were together with big breaks from 15 years old (he is my age) until last summer. I lost my virginity with him at the age of 15 and he is the only person I have been with in this way. I have had intimate experiences with other boys, but we haven't had sex. I really loved my ex and was devoted to him even when we weren't together. However, he had other partners in bed. I know he's a boy and his idea of sex probably has nothing to do with mine, but it hurt because we were both completely satisfied. Gradually we got to know each other completely, we knew everything about each other, we shared everything and every moment, spent together was special to me. It took us years to relax completely and get there. That's why I was so sick that he didn't hesitate to let other girls get so close to him. Once I decided to take revenge on him and almost slept with a boy, but it was not serious and the next morning I felt terrible. Even now, when I know that everything between us is over forever, I can't imagine the moment when I will have another partner. It worries me that we will have to start all over again until we reach the point where we have full confidence and the inhibitions will fall. I'm afraid I might not like it or compare it to my previous experiences, which would not be right. At the same time, I was sad (past time, because I feel much better than before) that I was the only one, who has such worries, and he is superficial and does not feel the same at all. Maybe this is one of the main reasons for me to shut myself in and not want to start more serious relationships with other people. Has it ever happened to you? Do you think I can overcome it and it's not something serious? In case my story is published, I thank everyone who will take the time to read and give their opinion. :)
1 agata_cum1 answered
Well, I understand you. You are obviously quite sensitive and closed nature. In which there is nothing wrong. You rethink things and for you sex is a deep emotional experience, not purely physical, as with most boys. My opinion is that you need to give yourself time. I have had a similar episode in my life. Just give yourself time. And don't expect that when you meet someone suitable, you will soon be able to give yourself to him. Obviously, you must first gain your trust and feel close to him as a person and understanding. You don't have to hurry. The fear you feel is due to the fact that you still have some feelings for your ex. You are also afraid of being hurt by infidelity again. You took your relationship with this boy to heart. Maybe because he is your first and only. And of course you feel more special. But it is not worth accepting infidelity and thus humiliating yourself. You deserve something better. Good luck.