Fear Of Birth

The Story

Hello, from the title it is clear what we are talking about. If you are going to write offensive comments, skip my story. I just want to know if there are other women like me. The thing is, I've been afraid of giving birth since I was little. I am most afraid of the episiotomy. I don't want my most intimate and favorite parts cut. When I watched the video, I burst into tears when the woman was cut. I just don't want that to happen to me. I know, now you're going to make fun of me for helping. Yes, it helps ... but then the recovery? I have girlfriends with an episiotomy who have a scar, so don't pretend there's no scar left. I am bisexual and I dare say that women who have given birth are quite wide. I also don't want to expand. I also had partners who gave birth to a cesarean section ... they are cramped and one that gave birth normally, but is not that wide, but it is still wider than my unborn girlfriends. I was so obsessed with this topic that I did not prepare for the doctoral exam. I am very scared. Fear has taken over my daily life, please help me not to think about these things and focus on something else. Failed PhD, lack of mental entertainment, what else should fail my gender? I even prefer to think about the experience of fornication than about it. I am not so much traumatized by fornication as by the thought that my dearest will be cut off. For fornication, everyone calls me to overcome it. Yes, but it's easy to say if you haven't experienced it. It was in 2017. All 2018 I was wondering what to do, I constantly remembered it. My relatives call me that I have a weak psyche and that's why I can't overcome it. Horror! I can't relax and have fun walking ... I am supposedly having fun and finally remembering what awaits me and I get depressed again. Are there others like me? I want to stop thinking about it, but somehow it's obsessed with my mind and I can't think of anything else. I am angry that because of this thought I passed my doctoral exam. I could not concentrate to study, and there things are written at a very high level and concentration is required. I'm also angry that I can't enjoy life because of it. I have polycystic ovaries, I unwittingly broke my prescription for contraceptives, one night I took these pills without a prescription from a 24-hour pharmacy, but I still have to get a prescription from a gynecologist. Here comes the problem. I'm afraid to go to the gynecologist. I've always been scared since watching the normal birth videos. I regret watching them three times. They obsessed my mind, I couldn't watch them ... well ...

I stopped the videos several times. I'm afraid to walk on the donkey, I have the feeling that I will be cut. Gynecologists understand this fear and they themselves said that I am worried, they shout "you are very worried". I have to somehow forget these videos because they prevent me from living my life. Advices? Please, no offensive comments. If there are women like me, please share your story. I also ask the moderators to publish my story. P. C I have told many people that I want to be a man and they "but how ... but why". Well, that's why. Now, if I were a man, I would live my life and not think about this nonsense. This is how being my wife costs my whole life and the pleasure of it. I started the topic anyway, so as not to write another ... my small labia are very big. I like them, but they have no extensibility like a penis passing through them. so far they have only made oral love to me .. they have only licked me. I have a friend or lover I do not know and what to call him he licks me (as I said I am bisexual) and so on. When I try to stretch them to the side and I feel a burning pain. And the stretch, in turn, is very small. Last time I pulled a little harder and my small labia were superficially torn and it was awful. It hurt when I peed. In general, I know that women are supposedly created by nature for this, but here ... I lack elasticity. I read on the internet that there are other such cases and I am not the only one, but they are rare. And don't you all have a friend? How can I have it when he wants real sex, which will mean hellish pain for me? Tell me what to do. First, that it is rare for small labia to be so big and secondly how can I explain to them why I don't have a boyfriend? If I wanted to get caught. I wish you all a successful week!

Last Updated
September 30, 2020
Author:
alexkuzjomkin

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