Everyone Wants To Crush Me

The Story

Hello, dear people. It's a 21-year-old girl who just needs help. Let's start with the fact that I am a child of divorced parents. I haven't lived with either of them, I've lived with my grandmother, who is a monster, but I love her very much. My father is a drug addict, my mother worked in another country. I never knew what, later I found out that she was a prostitute. It doesn't matter, look at me but at what cost? I am a very lonely girl. I have always missed my family. Over the years, I have learned to satisfy myself in the wrong way — relationships with married men. I've had two. The first was when I was 17, my husband and I remained pretty good friends because I seemed to value him more than that than as a sex partner. I was with the other one when I was 18, he broke my life. He hurt me very emotionally, he left me after almost 2 years of relationship. I fell in love, it was a mistake, but he is also in the past. After a while, I started a relationship with a boy who was my childhood love. I've always had a great opinion of him, he looks like a wonderful, reliable man, the one I needed. In time, the feelings returned, I loved him very much, we lived together and the nightmare began.

I lost my job, I live in a small town and it is very difficult to find something with a good income (at least  650 salary per month). I got pregnant, I lost the baby, we accepted him somehow, but in a moment his jealousy prevailed in our relationship. In every scandal he told me he didn't want me, he told me to leave. I hid all this from my so-called "family" until one day I just left because I was in a lot of pain and I couldn't stand it. We decided to stay boyfriends and see what would happen because I wasn't ready to let him go. He left me exactly on January 1, 19. I do not deny that I am very sad for him and I love him very much, but now my life is nowhere. I am unemployed, I have no money, he left me and my family is always against me. After I broke up with him, I tried to talk to my mother, who was supposed to support and help me, but she only knew how to insult him and tell me how pathetic I was, how I was useless, how bad I was, how I hated her. and that she had already decided to return to Bulgaria, and if that was a trick to make her leave again, there was no way it could happen, because she had decided to marry the man next to her. I still live with my grandmother, my father probably plays in a casino and takes another line, my mother fixes her life and everyone crushes me. Everything happened to me in a pile. I haven't been out in 9 days, I have no desire to do anything, I dig in the job ads and try to scratch somehow, but it doesn't work. Breaking up with this person hurts me a lot, but it hurts me more that everyone is against me. My grandmother and mother are very close, they constantly talk and discuss how incompetent I am, how I can't stand anything, how my friend (now ex) was an ugly dinosaur, how his mother lives and I harass them ... Why do I harass them ? I just needed to talk to my mother, not to be so sad, and she attacks me .. If I talk to a friend, one day everything will turn on me, I shut myself in, I do not get understanding, I am alone, no I eat, I don't go out, I don't even comb my hair ... I want everything to stop and I start thinking about suicide, everyone wants to crush me. I still have a lot to write, but it will take too long and I will stop here. I needed to pour out my soul a little at least somewhere. Thanks,

Last Updated
September 05, 2020
Author:
sciencechannel

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