Ever Since My Father Died, I Haven't Stopped Dreaming About Him

The Story: A few months ago, my father died suddenly while I was abroad. He had health problems because of alcohol, but he never wanted to be treated, he hated hospitals. My relationship with him was not warm, for a reason. For years, under the influence of alcohol, my mother was physically and mentally harassed, and I witnessed all the scandals. He never touched me. The years passed, with age he became worse, he became skin and bones, he did not eat, respectively he was not the same person, he had no strength for anything but to go to the toilet. He was warm to me, he always hugged me, I was cold, I didn't want to talk to him much, I didn't think I had anything to say to him. When I found out he was dead, I took him badly, I know I couldn't forgive him a lot, but I still cried ... I was sad because I felt guilty about my behavior before I left. Because I knew he wasn't a bad person, but alcohol made him so.

I've been dreaming of him ever since he died. It's been every night lately. Sometimes dreams are strange - in some of them he seems to be given a second chance in life, and I try to make him change.

It's not like I think about him every day. I had a period when I was so absorbed in my own problems and torments (depression and anxiety) that I didn't think about my father. And yet I dream it. Does that mean anything?
Last Updated: July 10, 2020
Author:: danickchou

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Published on: July 10, 2020