The Story

Hello. I am a young woman of 23 years. I used to live in UK, but now I am outside it.
Years ago I was "labeled" epilepsy, it was like a surprise; I was younger and it was quite stressful for me, and the symptoms were even more - an ugly picture... It happened everywhere - at home in front of the computer (playing games); at school in front of the computer or in the Physical Education class. Namely, this nasty trembling or involuntary movements of the hands. I will try to explain it as best I can, because maybe there are people who are still wondering what it is ... So, as I was standing in front of my computer and typing on the keyboard, I suddenly fell into a slight unconsciousness; both my arms stretch slightly forward and begin to tremble. Not the usual shivering, but a stranger kind of shivering. During this time I am almost conscious. It happens for about 5 seconds or some seconds, then it is repeated several times. And I realize I'm doing it, but while it's happening I can't stop it. They didn't tell me how I look from the side and maybe better, but ... it happened to me in quite inappropriate situations ...



Once while I had a class in Physical Education, and the time was for throwing some balls (you get stronger from a certain place and throw), it happened to me, but in a much more unusual way - instead of getting stronger and throwing the ball, for a moment it was as if I turned it off and started running (probably with the ball raised) against the teacher testing me ... You can only imagine what I looked like from the side ... humiliating for me. I felt it when I stopped, and the only thing that came to my mind to get out of the situation was to ask my teacher a question. But still, apparently, they saw exactly how I look from the side.
That's right. This went on for some time. I was prescribed Rivotril after a long visit to the doctors and tests. I was not for this medicine, because these mild seizures continued, and I had already had my big seizure, which I hardly remember - only from my mother's words. In short, that night before I had the seizure, I was afraid to sleep alone and told my mother to sleep with me. Well, I suddenly got out of bed, slid to the floor and fainted. All I remember is that I woke up on the ground around a few doctors crying.

This was followed by a change of medication with Depakine Chrono 500. They stopped all my convulsions and seizures for a few years until I suddenly decided to stop them on my own, and I stopped visiting my neurologist. The stupidest thing in my life, I know ... And so a year and a half somewhere, maybe two without anything. Until the moment came when the convulsions recurred.
I was very disappointed. I blamed myself. I went to my neurologist and explained what I had done. That's what Clonarex prescribed me. I drank it for a while, things calmed down ...

I got my second big seizure outside Bg. I was 20 I think. It was horrible ... It's good that I wasn't alone, but next to my friend. In short, before the fatal incident, an hour before that I had used marijuana and alcohol (whiskey) and gone to bed. Please don't start with the accusations of weed - I tell everything as it is, because I want to help people like me! )

After about an hour I woke up very stressed, about 2 in the morning, awakened by thunder and lightning outside. In my panic, I thought that something very scary was happening outside, I was under a lot of terrible tension because my heart was going to jump. Then came that trembling of the hands, then the great faint. I think the provocateur was alcohol and marijuana. People with epilepsy should not use alcohol and harmful substances, especially taken together ...

Then I went back to Depakine, but, my head hurt a lot, I stopped him. And bought without being examined by a neurologist or doctor. Terribly stupid, I know.

My third big seizure was again outside, in others. country. This time, before I had the seizure, I got an aura - I saw three gloomy pictures in a row in my mind. It was like the real thing. Closing my eyes, I felt the tension, and I quickly opened them - as if something from my eyes and head began to tremble, then my body ... and so, I got a third big seizure. My ex-boyfriend told me. This time I bit my tongue, white foam came out of my mouth mixed with blood from the bite of my tongue. When I regained consciousness I saw my frightened friend next to me tell me what had happened and we went to the hospital. We waited for 5-6 hours while I was admitted ... and in the emergency room ... it was awful. I was prescribed Clonazepam (Clonarex)

And so. I am now in another city in the same country. I was taking Clonazepam, now I am taking Lamotrigine. I don't think it's my medicine, and yet ...
Recently I have a non-specific heartbeat and "skipping" of the heart and shortness of breath. For several days, when I wake up and close my eyes, I get a slight "shaking" of the body. It is an epileptic symptoms.

I went to make an appointment and was returned twice. It's terribly frivolous.
In general, it harms my work as well. I had a suicide attempt with the medication I was taking - Clonazepam. I don't know exactly what they lead to, but I felt drowsy dizzy, suicidal thoughts, and all those bad, obsessive thoughts. I think they brainwash and psyche a lot of drugs ... especially AEMs (anti-epileptic drugs) ...

I ask the editors to approve my story. I really want to share all this with someone. Thank you!
If you have an idea, personal experience, comment, opinion ... I will be happy to share it with me.

Thanks again! Please approve my story ...
P. S. Sorry if I have spelling or punctuation errors and any kind of error, I wrote very quickly.


Last Updated
June 21, 2020