Endless Pain !!!

I am a 19 year old boy. Thanks to everyone who will take some time to read what I want to share from my life. Something that makes me feel weaker and unhappy every day. UNSHARED LOVE if it can be called so. I'm a boy and I'm madly in love with a girl we've known for two years. From the first time we met, I fell in love, and it can be said that it is love at first sight, but only on my part. After 1 year of getting to know each other and going out, I really fell in love as never before with a beautiful young girl with unique blue eyes. And one day I decided to tell her about my feelings and that I wanted more than a friendly relationship with her. Her answer was (You're a wonderful person, I don't want to hurt you and lose you and that's why I just want to be friends) and I told her that I can't see her every day and know that she may be with someone other than me. And I decided to end any relationship so that it would not be difficult for me. After a few months of full distance, she decided to try to get into my life again and started looking for me to ask about me and so on. I decided to go out to see each other and everything was wonderful as always when I'm with her as if I'm in my own waters and nothing bad can happen, but I realized that she fell in love with someone else who lives in Germany but is from her city. When I heard this, a train suddenly hit me. I showed no emotion and said only to be careful not to do anything stupid and not to hurry. And that it could only be from those men who just want to sleep with her and get there. And that's exactly what happened, she called me after 2 weeks and told me that it was full of garbage and that you had found another one. Then I told her to get well and that she was not small, and she poured everything on me.

Since then, my feelings seemed to evaporate and I felt nothing. I was tired of being the last hole in the flute. And I decided to be friendly and even slightly transformative towards her. We hadn't seen each other in about a month. And from 1-2 weeks she started writing me how you are, how things are going with you. Whereupon I answered that everything was fine and she asked her how she was. And she answered the following: Emmy, how can I be. Up and down, I hate not seeing you, I miss you. Whereupon I told her life goes on, we will see each other again but less often. And I decided to change the subject. I had a ball and she decided to come take pictures and secretly come with us to a disco. It was great at the disco and we had a great time, as always. We danced, pressed and it was as if everything from 1 year ago was back, I saw that girl who was in the beginning. It was as if he was doing it on purpose, waiting for me to forget her, and suddenly he came and went into my life again. It hurts me because I know that as much as I want her, she wants us to be just friends and nothing more. She likes bad boys who like to be trampled and in control of her life.

Unfortunately, I'm not one of them, and when I have feelings for a girl, I always try to do my best to make her feel good and happy. No matter how much it costs me .. All the feelings for her came back, it's hard for me that I can't hug and kiss her, it's hard for me to look at her with some measurements that use her. And the hardest thing for me is that she doesn't care and it hurts me. I don't know what to do, I don't see other girls. I only think about her and this is for 1-2 years. It was as if he was doing it on purpose, waiting for me to forget her, and suddenly he came and went into my life again. It hurts me because I know that as much as I want her, she wants us to be just friends and nothing more. She likes bad boys who like to be trampled and in control of her life. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them, and when I have feelings for a girl, I always try to do my best to make her feel good and happy. No matter how much it costs me .. All the feelings for her came back, it's hard for me that I can't hug and kiss her, it's hard for me to look at her with some measurements that use her.

And the worst thing for me is that she doesn't care and it hurts me. I don't know what to do, I don't see other girls. I only think about her and this is for 1-2 years. It was as if he was doing it on purpose, waiting for me to forget her, and suddenly he came and went into my life again. It hurts me because I know that as much as I want her, she wants us to be just friends and nothing more. She likes bad boys who like to be trampled and in control of her life. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them, and when I have feelings for a girl, I always try to do my best to make her feel good and happy. As much as it costs me .. All feelings for her came back, it's hard for me that I can't hug and kiss her, it's hard for me to look at her with some measurements that use her. And the worst thing for me is that she doesn't care and it hurts me. I don't know what to do, I don't see other girls. I only think about her and this is for 1-2 years. because I know that as much as I want her, she wants us to be just friends and nothing more. She likes bad boys who like to crush them and control her life. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them, and when I have feelings for a girl, I always try to do my best to make her feel good and happy. No matter how much it costs me .. All feelings for her came back, it's hard for me that I can't hug and kiss her, it's hard for me to look at her with some measurements that use her.

And the worst thing for me is that she doesn't care and it hurts me. I don't know what to do, I don't see other girls. I only think about her and this is for 1-2 years. because I know that as much as I want her, she wants us to be just friends and nothing more. She likes bad boys who like to be trampled and in control of her life. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them, and when I have feelings for a girl, I always try to do my best to make her feel good and happy. No matter how much it costs me .. All feelings for her came back, it's hard for me that I can't hug and kiss her, it's hard for me to look at her with some measurements that use her. And the hardest thing for me is that she doesn't care and it hurts me. I don't know what to do, I don't see other girls. I only think about her and this is for 1-2 years. and when I have feelings for a girl, I always try to do my best to make her feel good and happy. No matter how much it costs me .. All feelings for her came back, it's hard for me that I can't hug and kiss her, it's hard for me to look at her with some measurements that use her. And the worst thing for me is that she doesn't care and it hurts me. I don't know what to do, I don't see other girls. I only think about her and this is for 1-2 years. and when I have feelings for a girl, I always try to do my best to make her feel good and happy. No matter how much it costs me ..

All feelings for her came back, it's hard for me that I can't hug and kiss her, it's hard for me to look at her with some measurements that use her. And the worst thing for me is that she doesn't care and it hurts me. I don't know what to do, I don't see other girls. I only think about her and this is for 1-2 years.