Hello! A confused and unhappy boy who wants help writes to you. I have been overweight since I was 8 years old. I ate more, often sweets, and I got there. I took a lot of ridicule for this in my class up to 4th grade. Quite unpleasant children who harassed me because I am a very intelligent child and I was called a professor, a bison, etc. This led me to a lot of problems and therefore a lot more food. Older boys joked with me and beat me. After 4th grade I moved. By 5th grade, I was in a much better grade, but my previous environment had made me a terrible version of myself: hot-tempered, grumpy, and the other kids were retaliating. I messed with most of them, but fortunately I fixed my relationship with them. The pounds sat, physically joking, gossiping. After 5th grade, I signed up to train basketball because I'm relatively tall, and at home, running and swimming are revered, and martial arts and bodybuilding (which are my interests) are defined as something that has to go down the drain. Basketball - gossip, kicking and stepping as we do push-ups (I couldn't), and during a non-training game they made me run and in the end they didn't pass me (it was a pointless run).
At the camps I was a jerk (I went to 2), and I was afraid to defend myself so that they wouldn't hit me. 2018. We are on vacation with our friendly family. They are with their friends. They have two children - a girl (my age) and a boy (then 19 years old). Love. For the first time I really fall in love. I see myself in front of the mirror. I am 170 centimeters tall and weigh 85 kilograms. My belly is 110 centimeters. Disgust. I am already 13 years old (it is July 21). My mother suggested I start a diet zone. I have no idea about proper nutrition and exercise. Eating was like a mouse, and I was killing myself with cardio. I lost a lot, but a lot of muscle. From 85 I melted to 73 in a month. Relatives came to visit us. My mother keeps bragging about how much I've lost. I don't feel OK. Family friends came to visit us - the same humiliation and praise in one. August 2018. I couldn't even do a push-up with my knees on the ground. Humiliation. Ambition. But a healthy ambition! I started to be interested, to read, and to get an education! It all started with a clear goal of learning to do push-ups. I was beaten in Canadian at school.
3 months of torment, sweat and hope, for the first repetition, I even wrote down the date. They bought me the first weights for Christmas. They were removable dumbbells. Joy. I made a training split, which I keep and I see how much I have upgraded my knowledge. My father explains how harmful the * fitness * disease is. Interest. I began to enjoy sweating and lifting weights. Human pleasure. June 2019. I bought an elastic band and started training on levers. Enthusiasm. I wanted to learn to recruit. During the exams, I gained a lot of weight. I had reached 90 by the end of the year.
I said to myself: not bad, I will take them down. All this time I've been feeling sick (since the beginning of the story). I walked on levers and rode a bicycle. I followed calories, macros. First month - 3 pounds lost. 8 centimeters from the body. Extended back, I can now make buckets. Joy, I see hope in the tunnel. My father pulled me off the plate several times. We argue that I take a protein supplement. August 2019. Rest. 2 loaded pounds. I want to get back to my habits. Ours for another day wants me to enter the zone and lose weight fast.
Quarrels. I lost 1 month, lost hope from all the quarrels, pulling from the plate. First day of school. New class. Elite high school. New ambition for regime and training. Pulling from the plate. Quarrels. Nasty feeling. Hole. I'm interested in depression. Maybe I'm suffering from chronic depression. November 2019. 5 pounds in 2 weeks. Another loss of hope. Holidays. He froze them. 2020. After the new year I am already 98-100 kilograms. An attempt at a clean start. Arguments at home. Misunderstanding. Another loss of hope. I don't want to do anything. I visit a psychologist. I already go to kickboxing. I have been in desperate need of help for the last year and a half, suffering from apathy, despair, and perhaps even depression. First day of school. New class. Elite high school. New ambition for regime and training. Pulling from the plate. Quarrels. Nasty feeling. Hole. I'm interested in depression.
Maybe I'm suffering from chronic depression. November 2019. 5 pounds in 2 weeks. Another loss of hope. Holidays. He froze them. 2020. After the new year I am already 98-100 kilograms. An attempt at a clean start. Arguments at home. Misunderstanding. Another loss of hope. I don't want to do anything. I visit a psychologist. I already go to kickboxing. I have been in desperate need of help for the last year and a half, suffering from apathy, despair, and perhaps even depression. First day of school. New class. Elite high school. New ambition for regime and training. Pulling from the plate. Quarrels. Nasty feeling. Hole. I'm interested in depression. Maybe I'm suffering from chronic depression.
November 2019. 5 pounds in 2 weeks. Another loss of hope. Holidays. He froze them. 2020. After the new year I am already 98-100 kilograms. An attempt at a clean start. Arguments at home. Misunderstanding. Another loss of hope. I don't want to do anything. I visit a psychologist. I already go to kickboxing. I have been in desperate need of help for the last year and a half, suffering from apathy, despair, and perhaps even depression. Another loss of hope. Holidays. He froze them. 2020. After the new year, I am already 98-100 kilograms. An attempt at a clean start. Arguments at home. Misunderstanding. Another loss of hope.
I don't want to do anything. I visit a psychologist. I already go to kickboxing. I have been in desperate need of help for the last year and a half, suffering from apathy, despair, and perhaps even depression. Another loss of hope. Holidays. He froze them. 2020. After the new year, I am already 98-100 kilograms. An attempt at a clean start. Arguments at home. Misunderstanding. Another loss of hope. I don't want to do anything. I visit a psychologist. I already go to kickboxing. I have been in desperate need of help for the last year and a half, suffering from apathy, despair, and perhaps even depression.