I am the author. Thanks for the answers. Sometimes thoughts of death and meaninglessness overwhelm me and I start to tremble, and sometimes I cry and think about suicide. Why is the universe like that? Why does time only go forward? We are just some DNA machines with an expiration date, but why do we exist? Unfortunately, I think I am intelligent and have studied many religions and spiritual currents and principles to be aware that there is no Hell and Heaven, and there is little evidence of rebirth (memories of a small number of children who suddenly remember a past life. in which they most often die violently and suddenly). But even in rebirth there is no real "I" or "soul" because their new life has nothing to do with the previous one. Many change their gender, religion, race, interests, everything. Very rarely do they remember anything from a past life, which significantly affects their current, very very rarely. That is, obviously the universe has some way of recycling consciousness / memories, as matter does. That's it. But it doesn't recycle the whole person. Everything is a kind of chaos that self-recycles, but without meaning and without direction. You will say, "Well, think like an existentialist - make sense of yourself." Well, what kind of meaning can you create in the face of the infinite and cold universe, which every meaning will catch it, chew it and spit it out? Even my brain, which is looking for meaning, is the fruit of meaningless chaos. Why can't I be an ordinary person who just wants to watch TV and drink? Why should I be afraid of death and chaos? Are the ordinary activities of ordinary people (eating, drinking, work, fun, family, children, breaks) are a coping mechanism in the face of nonsense and death? Maybe I shouldn't spend so much time alone with my thoughts ... But it's already very difficult for something to distract me. When I see an old man on the street, I think how close he is to death, I wonder if he wakes up in the evening and cries for his youth. When I see a small child, I think he will live a few years and then he will be close to death. Death - the great equalizer of everything and everyone. But don't our actions, although miniature, actually change the state of this reality (now that I'm writing this, I've thought about it and I still want to end with at least 0.1% positivity)? If someone has read it - should I go to a psychiatrist? Serious question ... When I see an old man on the street, I think how close he is to death, I wonder if he wakes up in the evening and cries for his youth. When I see a small child, I think he will live a few years and then he will be close to death. Death - the great equalizer of everything and everyone. But don't our actions, although miniature, actually change the state of this reality (now that I'm writing this, I've thought about it and I still want to end with at least 0.1% positivity)? If someone has read it - should I go to a psychiatrist? Serious question ... When I see an old man on the street, I think how close he is to death, I wonder if he wakes up in the evening and cries for his youth. When I see a small child, I think he will live a few years and then he will be close to death. Death - the great equalizer of everything and everyone. But don't our actions, although miniature, actually change the state of this reality (now that I'm writing this, I've thought about it and I still want to end with at least 0.1% positivity)? If someone has read it - should I go to a psychiatrist? Serious question ... do not actually change the state of this reality (now while writing this I thought about it and I still want to end with at least 0. 1% positivity)? If someone has read it - should I go to a psychiatrist? Serious question ... do not actually change the state of this reality (now while writing this I thought about it and I still want to end with at least 0. 1% positivity)? If someone has read it - should I go to a psychiatrist? Serious question ...
1 marriedbi456 answered
Yes, every day and I have the constant feeling that death is lurking from every angle. F19