He never got in the way when the man next to me told me about problems or showed weakness. On the contrary, at such moments I have a strong urge to comfort him, to support him, to assist him. A problem would be to complain without taking anything and always be in such states. But everyone has difficult moments and my role as his mate is to be there when he needs me. It's not the lack of weakness that prejudges manhood, but the search for a way to cope, even if you have to ask for help.
I've been thinking about what you're saying about the subconscious, author. The men I've been with have always tried to behave when they had any anguish. They're told they're sick, they're tense, but they're trying not to express it directly. And that's what challenges the above feelings in me. At moments like this, I catch it directly and embrace it, and I'm always ready to listen, although as you say, most of the time I hear words like "no problem, I'll be fine."
I remember waiting for a boyfriend to come home. He had to go home with the city, came all wet, frozen and tired. I hugged him, told him to take off his wet clothes straight away, made him tea while he was taking a shower, cuddling under a blanket and the evening ended with other goodies. Of course, he did not complain, but his condition was evident. How can I not take care of him? And this is not a single case.
I don't know if I would have considered him a lesser man if he had been a man, it's possible that the fact that he didn't, but pretended to be strong, would have made me so angry. Which may somewhat confirm your thesis, author, but somehow it seems to me that there is no place in your story to care for the man. And I think every normal woman's instinct is to take care of her husband when he knows he needs it.
Who told you that? I'm honest. I'il think he's hiding something substantial from me, but even if he's just emotionally inaccessible and cold, that'il be reason enough not to be with him. The only thing you can save is if you're jealous of her for no reason, then it's really ugly. But on all other occasions, no. It's clear that we're all human, hardly anyone thinks men don't have problems and never cry. Such behavior would personally make me extremely nervous. I'd rather be told and think together about the solution to the problem, if there's a need, but at least to know what's going on. I don't know. You're hurting yourself in this way. If someone doesn't like you, it's character incompatibility, they don't like you as values and views about life, the problem is not that you share it. She'il know who you are sooner or later. He'd better find out earlier and let everyone walk away and find a suitable partner. Don't suggest nonsense.
Woman 30 years old.
Well, I don't agree with you, and I'il tell you why.
1. Women and men are not as different as you think.
2. There is nothing better than being true to your emotions, words and actions, regardless of gender. And, of course, within the limits of good tone and reason.
3. Absolutely all people in this world have moments of weakness.
4. A woman's love does not diminish when her beloved is "weak", weeps, shows insecurity, etc... On the contrary , it does so much because it has the courage to show "weakness", and in such moments everyone needs even more love/support.
5. Suppressed emotions damage the psyche forever, and over time it becomes worse over time. There is a lot of information on this topic on Google - read. From my personal experience, I can say the same thing.
6. Women don't like strong men, they like REAL MEN. Honest, honest, smart, with big and good hearts.
7. Pouring drinks at bad times is a good prerequisite for alcoholism, and women hate drunken virgins.
8. You think very, very, very wrong about the conscious and the subconscious.
9. No woman would want to be with a man who does not share with her. After all, the point of relationships is to love, support each other and make our lives easier, and you deny a huge part of that sense...
10. If you continue to believe in what you have written, you are unlikely to succeed with women.
G, 22
That's the stupidest thing I've ever read. The moment I thought my friend was the man for me was when we both cried. It's not weakness, it's strength. cheating is a weakness
And if he judges me to be not strong enough what? I've done it on my own before, and before her, I'il be fine after her.
Are you a man, are you a woman, are you the new Natalia Kobicina? With such prejudice, you're talking about making laughter from your logo.
I hadn't read such in a while. and I read to half.
Who thinks he has a universal recipe for success for anything to go to market it. People are different, as long as they're stupid generalizations.
Candy
Hahaha - we're looking forward to the next theme from you - there are no real men left.
What you wrote is extraordinary, I can't believe exactly how you managed to pick the words ..
I only have one question. The truth has many sides. One side is to disguise the problem/uncertainty in order to preserve masculinity, but isn't it the same as alienating the woman next to you? Why, well, because there's a cover-up of a part of you that's as pure as events, and why not as a soul? If we are to follow an ideal in which there are no boundaries/secrets between a man and a woman, then this will prevent ...
In fact, I understand that these are just fairy tales, there is no such ideal in the real world, and if you want to be "on top" you have to play it...
But i still don't think that kind of behavior is right. I think even if you're sure to be a loser of your sincerity, it's better than disguising yourself in your weaknesses. And there's always an opportunity for a woman in her insecurities to break down and realize something meaningful...
First, most objections can be reduced to "I don't like it! ". Okay, there are always exceptions. Even if I accept your opinions as 100% true, that's your truth. The exceptions confirm the rule. Statistically speaking, my advice is valid because it applies to 90% of people 90% of the time (yes, my percentages sucked them out of my fingers, but they're of that order).
Second, my advice is for the confused and unhappy young men who often celebrate here. No one tells them exactly where they're wrong, but they talk nonsense, taken out of women's magazines like "don't be afraid to show vulnerability, be emotionally accessible" and more. similar pop-psychological mantras. Another summary that will anger a lot of women here, but it's pretty true: "Don't listen to what women say, but watch what they do."
Third, things are never black and white, and I don't understand how some interpret "don't share every disappointment with your wife" as "don't show any emotion, and don't share anything with her." Emotions are vital to any relationship, but men have to control our emotions (women too, but this is another topic that I don't want to get into now). It's one thing to share the joys, the hopes, even the little things of living with the woman next to you, and it's another to spew out an uncontrollable emotional mess.
For those who doubt what my qualification is to make such generalizations: it is no worse than that of any other forum "expert". I have great personal and professional experience, as well as a long happy marriage, which in itself makes me more qualified than many other participants in the forum.
You see how you got the ladies. Your theme is right in the ten. Listen to them at all, and don't believe it.
If they see you weak, she can say she wants to tell her, but on the most convenient case, she'il hit you right there when you least expect it and remind you how you whined.
Don't ever get soft in front of a woman, even though they're explaining otherwise here. They are like children and are children in the body of mature women. They don't know what they want, but they're going to put a thousand things on you to prove you're wrong.
If i don't want to help me when I need it, and i'm going to be supportive when I'm here, what do I need it for?
The healthiest relationship, my friend, is when there are no secrets and swallows.
I hope you realize that sometime.
It's Bratan.
You're wrong. For most women, it's important for the person next to them to share with them. Whether you're coping in life or not, you can tell with or without sharing and seeking support.
That you have shared or sought comfort/help from your soul mate speaks only of your cohesion. Looks like you and your half don't have one.
Women in adulthood don't like ever-fussy but nothing doing men, yes, but I believe that's the case with men.
It's about being able to trust and share in your mate is something stratospheric.
If you can't give it the end and feel comfortable being yourself. where?
Well, you're wrong.
Woman, 27 years old
(From the author)
RE: 1
It's all about the measure. If a man complains as often as a woman, she'il think it's too much. There is no gender equality in this regard.
RE: 2
Read again what I wrote. Where did I see me advising him to "hide something substantial from me" or "just emotionally inaccessible and cold"? If all the conversation topics are limited to annoying daily problems, then the relationship is doomed in the long run anyway.
RE: 3
"1. Women and men are not as different as you think." What about you? As much as we don't like it, you can't argue with millions of years of evolution.
"2. There is nothing better than being true to your emotions, words and actions, regardless of gender. It is these "boundaries of good tone and reason" that are the essential thing. They're far from where most women think they are.
"4. A woman's love does not diminish when her beloved is "weak", weeps, shows uncertainty, etc...." Perhaps, in the "honeymoon" of the relationship, or if there is a significant imbalance between the feelings of the two, but in general it is definitely a negative factor.
"5. Suppressed emotions damage the psyche forever, and over time it becomes worse over time."
"6. Women do not like strong men, but REAL MEN. "Nice words that say almost nothing. REAL, yes, but prefer to see the final version, and not all the shoots along the way ;)
"If a drink is going to make an alcoholic, why fight the inevitable?
"No woman would want to be with a man who doesn't share it," she says - yes, but not everything. There's a lot of things sharing that doesn't lead to anything good.
"10. If you continue to believe in what you wrote, you are unlikely to be successful with women." Besides, I've already found the only woman i'm interested in, so for me, the subject is purely theoretical.
RE: 4 "That's the stupidest thing I've ever read"
RE: 7 I hadn't read such a in a while... and I read half."
You don't seem to be reading ;)
Of course there are universal recipes. The normal distribution applies to almost all human characteristics, starting with height and weight, and ending up with personality traits. The exceptions at both ends of the spectrum are quite few. Everyone would like to think that he/she is some unique and unique creature, but for most people this is not true.
RE: 5
I kind of agree, but bringing this way of thinking down will destroy most relationships.
RE: 8 " Hahaha , we expect the next theme from you - there are no real men left."
Wait another 10 or 15 years, and that's what's going to happen. A whole generation of boys brought up mostly by their mothers, and by a society that treats them as "defective" girls rather than as little men. But that's a different theme.
RE: 9 "One side is to disguise the problem/uncertainty in order to preserve masculinity, but isn't it so that there is an alienation from the woman next to you?"
There is definitely a dose of bitterness, but the truth is not always pleasant. In the long run, it's far better to see the world as it is, not what we want it to be. Yes, there is no unconditional love, and female love definitely has more conditions than male, but that's the way it is. Either way, every man who loves the woman next to him makes sacrifices for her. And that's not such a big sacrifice. After all, I do not believe the existence of Santa Claus, but it does not prevent me from loving and cherishing the Christmas holiday.
You can't trust the typical woman by your side, you have to keep a facade of strength, that's what you're supposed to do.
99% of you absolutely did not get into what the author tells you. And he is absolutely right, and any young man who tries to make sense of his advice will increase his chances of a stable relationship.
I've never, ever heard my husband complain about being tired from work, and she's heavy with him. Not in the way: "I suck, I'm like a rag, I hate those bosses." Quite the opposite: in the evening he tells me what achievements he has, how the work progresses, what position he has gained with labor, and I see that his eyes are closing and I guess he is tired; accordingly - I rush with dinner, prepare him a drink, suggest going to bed early; but he's loosened up - never. He came home with wounds (he's an electrical engineer, he's working on construction), I start screaming, and he's like, "Oh, it's a small scratch, it's going to be a day or two, how many of them I've had...". For him, such a thing as "hard work", including a homemade one, will not. If he can't handle it, he'il call a friend, but he doesn't bother me with it. Even if he has financial problems, he's never been hysterical about it. Not in front of me! He's just informing me that the investor is delaying payments on the site. He never says, "My head hurts," but simply asks, "Do we have an analgin at home or go to the pharmacy?"
What's the result? Well, I love it! Being in love with your own husband, I don't know why it's considered something perverse these days, but I'm deeply in love with this man. When we're both invited to a party and I go first and he comes after me, my gaze is always in the door. It's only when it comes that I calm down and start having fun.
I read halfway through and stopped because I don't agree with you!
There's nothing wrong with sharing your problems with your soul mate, nor in hard times being depressed or crying, it's not a weakness... It's called humanity!
For me, a whining man is : 1 - Every time he complains about his work.
2 - To complain about his relationship non stop, that you see not feeling loved and blah-blah.
3 - To grumble that she wants to spend non-stop time with his girlfriend, and she didn't want to.
4 - When it comes to bickering like a baby.
I don't want to be with a man like that, because it's suicide, especially when a woman is the strong one.
Author, you've chosen a bad place to share your views :):) Look at the women's comments - one even flashes you to google, which is an option, not working your own brain :) I support you in your conclusions, remember that if a woman is to describe the perfect man, she will describe another woman :):)
Number 13, what you're describing is infantile in the form of personality disorder. It's full of both women and men like that. In an emotionally mature woman or man, respectively, these explanations do not apply. But I guess you're the only kind of women you attract? I'm attracted to men, too, even though I'm their opposite. They smell me as pathetic and start with the dramas. It's sad, but it's true :D What I expect is sharing, but from an emotionally mature individual. Some narcissist or borderline, of course, will spew only drama and. These deviations don't pick by gender. Pick women better.
G, 30
The mother of a close friend of mine always says that a real man should radiate security no matter what (and I agree with her).
A lot of the things you've written remind me of the teachings of the Red Pill Community and the like. I recommend that those who are not familiar with this term google it.
In my opinion, there is no common formula for all people. Many times I have noticed that what kind of partner and, in general, what kind of people you want in your life is often a reflection of yourself, your aspirations, desires and beliefs.
There are many women who prefer the man next to them not to be so dominant without even realizing it. Thus, the "victory" that they have over it is guaranteed - they choose, with them complying, etc. Everyone knows or has heard of such women who have climbed on the heads of their men, and next to them is not a man, but a servant.
As a woman, I can say that in principle a lot of what is written is true, but for a part of society. There are women, I'm a vision and myself, who are attracted to this type of men - serious, reserved, measured and non-scheming. If I come across as a spoiled man, I feel insecure, and it's like there's no man sitting across me, but a little boy I'm going to have to take care of all the time. Somehow I don't take it seriously, and I even feel it below my level. And I want the man to be a little above me, to have something to teach me, what to show me about life. However, this does not include being aggressive or always wanting to be right, on the contrary. It means respecting the woman by her side by listening to her, leaving her the personal right to vote, not forcing her mentally or physically. But still to have a masculine role, which quite often translates into being more deed, determined.
I want to add, however, that there is absolutely always no way that a man can be like this. As much as some women think that men are insensitive and ton, they also have emotions and are wounded. It's not real to expect the man next to us to be 100% rock and concrete, always strong. There is nothing wrong with showing weakness and uncertainty sometimes, it is important not to be constantly and not to be a way of thinking and living! This also applies to women - hardly a normal man would want to be with a woman who is desperate all the time.
It's good for a man to be what you describe him most of the time, but it's also OK to show weakness and emotion, because it shows a woman that he trusts her and they could be real with each other.
And men and women are human, it's nice to be understanding and not under illusions that perfection exists. It is important that our overall attitude to life and desire to build and change for the better is important.
G, 21
All right says the author, and the women, as they were called, guilty of not escaping.
The author doesn't know all women first, so he can make generalizations.
She knows her closely, and in the biblical sense, four or five, she doesn't. But the great connoisseur of the female psyche... I, as a woman, wouldn't want to be by my side a disguised and insincesarian man who would play Chuck Norris, Iron Man, and I don't know who's who's the macho. I don't need an artist in life.
I've been living with my husband for years, and in the look on his face, I know when he's in trouble, he's tired, he's not in the mood, and accordingly he's with me, so we're together to help each other in a tough time, not to show off and pretend to be heroes.
I agree with Brattan.
Hahahahahaha, now they're going to convince you that complaining to women is normal and they won't dump you. Okay, but they're going to dump you 90%
Don't listen to what women say, just watch what they do. That's the real point. I'd add, and watch how they behave.
I don't need Superman, I need Superman, I need it and supports him at a difficult time-who?I've even loved him in those moments. And he did.
Dude, standard questions, standard answers. What women respond en masse doesn't match reality. They've eaten a lot of that potra you're writing about here. Complaining and moneyless are cruel autologies for a man. Everyone's drawn and knows. You may have tripped in stone, but they'il convince you that you didn't trip or that it wasn't a rock. So, yes, the topic is useful for boys with no experience. We've already burned. You know, the hungry city doesn't believe it. :) I know a guy who's been running a whole company of guys, but then these guys turned out to be really bad because they didn't understand her and called her a k****. Hahaha, poor thing. :) I think guys like Brattan only had virtual relationships, judging by his inadequate comments on love matters.
Women think, second they speak, third they do.
Look at all the single men - what they have in common is that they're quieter, better, more sensitive, and the hakaans who fuck three or four different cows a week, because they're manly.
Complete nonsense the women wrote above. Why are they lying??? Can't you see what they are?
In women, anything you say can and will be used against you.
A man has to share the problems with his wife. She'il notice that there is one anyway without him saying anything. In the full relationship between a man and a woman, there can be no non-sharing and cover. Another is the question of how the man should react to an emerging problem. Namely - with calm, without panic, fear, whining, and most importantly, he must offer an adequate SOLUTION to this problem. That means the man is strong.
M 22g.
I'm a woman, but I think the men in the subject are right.
There's nothing more disgusting than a grumpy man, it's a disgusting sight.
So I'm a woman, I can get better in life and not moan, but I have to keep him moaning and solving his problems?
That's not going to happen.
To number 30
The whole thing revolves around stereotypes. And be cool
pathetic and funny, a man will be walking because he just fits a specific pattern. Not to lie to any scoundrels that women instinctively smell the men in the world, it's fiction. They smell their clothing and judge the standard, fact. But it all comes down to, He's just complaining, "Bro, this is a model that women run from, not your problems, from a pattern of behavior. Because that's how it's accepted, they don't even try to understand because they follow models. I will immediately give examples of such losers, who already have children who have their own home, who have softened since they were young. And you're going to tell me they smelled them like a man. They don't have any man-likeness. Don't blow this on us. Don't trust a woman, just your mother. They're just writing here in this and other themes that men have to live alone, why? That I and my father and mother live in our house, i still work and pay for everything myself, no one supports me. When there's a normal one, we're going to go rented and pay for both of them, not as an idiot to live alone and pay rent, so I'm not married, why I'm going to live in rent, and why she doesn't live in her place, that I rent. You're making out with the molds first, and you're talking about who's a man. Author, move it to the other leg and don't care. Here, and the most decent one is just for scratching the cucumber, for nothing else. You'il see misery and a knife in your back, each one. Every smart man understands that.
1 caranight answered