A young and very in love person is writing to you. It is strange to me that this is how I reveal my feelings and I am afraid. Very, awful, because it's not my style. It's hard to look inside myself, but there is a huge emptiness and lack of love and attention. I have never had many friends and normal family relationships. I grew up far from Bulgaria with one parent. A parent who dumped me every week for banquets, gatherings with friends, and parties. The most interesting thing is that this was the one in charge, the other one wasn't even looking for us. This affected my consciousness a lot, I was a stable rebel. I walked on a ridge, doing all sorts of nonsense. Nothing bad or embarrassing, but I raised people's blood. I still remember my mother forbidding me to wear an earring, so I pierced half of my face. I changed naturally. I still carry some of this conviction, but in a much more acceptable version.
Despite my appearance and people's beliefs, I am a good person. A man who longs to love and be loved. To fill this void in yourself. There is nothing more important to me. Writing this, I'm trying to overcome a part of myself ... it's hard. There's a girl. Gentle, beautiful, and cute. I look at her more and more often and say to myself "she is".
Yes, she is a wonderful creature. This is where all my worries and fears come from. I really want to be with her, but I don't know how it will happen. I'm afraid to reveal myself, not to be rejected and abandoned again. I convince myself that something could happen ... and the next moment I tell myself that I have to be realistic. I had decided to? show your sympathy. She did not come that day. I'm not superstitious, but I took that as a sign.
Then I was stopped again. I decided to invite her for a walk ... and that's when my wallet disappeared. Twice I decided to act and there were obstacles. The other reason I put up barriers is the former? Radically different. 11 years older than me, wearing a suit that exudes security. He also lit me up on the issue. He happened to be sitting across from me in a restaurant.
Then he came to me. Don't spare your qualifications at my address. He also diagnosed me. I'm a "piss" (whatever it is), a deluded nervous, thirsty for attention, unstable, and obviously quite a believer. I didn't react to his insults, after which he said he cared about me (haha) and just didn't want to waste my time. I deserve something more ... different. I have no idea what to do. I do not want to do anything. I listen to a song that the girl sent me and I feel sorry for myself. I keep thinking about her, I can't find a place. I wrote an awful lot, excuse me.
1 darinasquirt answered
I accepted your story personally only for one fact - you look a hell of a lot like a friend of mine. A friend I was also in love with (and I still am, I don't know why I say "I was"), and I guess he's in me. I say I guess because he, like you, has built a monument bigger than the Great Wall of China around him. And lose, but that's another matter ... Now, in essence, you're a sensible young man. The fact that you didn't have a healthy family played a role (as did my friend's), but now the ball is in your possession and you can change the story. The strongest words I heard from my friend were "I don't want to be like my father one day." I'm sure you'll change everything you don't like about your past, but understand that now is the time! How to do this - shake off this UNCERTAINTY! You like the girl ... OK, go out with her at all costs. Don't be superstitious, don't be insecure, don't be a woman (I say that to tighten up). You have no reason to hesitate. If the girl has sympathy for you - she will show them to you. But for this purpose you have to tighten up, get out of the house and meet! Or do you plan to torment yourself for months, maybe years, with the question, "What if I had met her ... What if she liked me?" Man, it hurts a lot to ask yourself this question every day - so act. You don't have time to procrastinate. Life is here and now. A suffering man tells you that. I will not spare you the option in which the girl may reject you. Slap. Then you will endure more, but one day you will find the right one. (And hopefully the one you're talking about) I'll set aside a special place for that "ex" of hers. First, good, that you did not answer him to give him pleasure and to show him that you were annoyed. Just the fact that he is an EX should reassure you. Take off his suit, take away his age. Really, if he had a situation, would he be dealing with some "pishleme" (sorry, but as he called you) like you? He contradicts himself. A pure test of envy and malice. And I forgot - complexes. You are probably much younger than him and he sees his ship sailing, and there are many more opportunities ahead of you. Individuals like him, I personally would advise them only one thing (and I would even say it out loud) - to go and hit each other to calm down. Apparently, without this, there is nothing to do but irritate what I just said. Is the situation a little clearer for you now? Man, after this post of mine, I get even angrier. Why... Because I want each of us to have a drop of more confidence at some point so that he can achieve his goals and dreams. I hope I have given you a drop of confidence with this long written thing. And last but not least: If it wasn't worth it to you, if you weren't a person on the spot, you wouldn't be asking yourself the question "Am I worth it?" Garbage doesn't care. They are just looking at their interest. Why don't you ask those ex next time if he asked himself this question - how much does it cost. You will not receive an answer. Because it's probably rubbish. Come on with health :) They are just looking at their interest. Why don't you ask those ex next time if he asked himself this question - how much does it cost. You will not receive an answer. Because it's probably rubbish. Come on with health :) They are just looking at their interest. Why don't you ask those ex next time if he asked himself this question - how much does it cost. You will not receive an answer. Because it's probably rubbish. Come on with health :)