I don't know if I acted so low. Last night I went out with my new friend Radoslav. We went to visit a friend of his, where we overdosed on alcohol and amphetamines. Rado and the other boy were happy to do some work and Georgi and I, the host, were left alone. From the lines, through the brandy, we got to the moment where we can kiss, from there - sex. He told me a lot of confusing things, like that he wanted us to be together, that Radoslav didn't deserve me and that he would be better for me. Of course, I didn't believe him, but I was more or less influenced by my intoxication. The sex was nothing more than satisfying, but I was still quite noisy in my groans. At one point there was a knock on the door, and quite loudly, I noticed, and that my phone had several unread text messages from Rado. We quickly got dressed and I went to sleep, which, as dumb as it sounded, was the only thing that came to my mind. Joro opened the door, and Radoslav, of course, was furious. Rado and I have been together for 2-3 weeks, and I have already managed to cheat on him in the lowest possible way. He was gone for almost an hour and a half, and I "fixed" his friend during that time. For almost an hour I filled Radoslaz's head with heaps of lies, about how I had done nothing, and with false indignation, how he could think such a thing. The worst part is that he had even heard us. I don't know in what impossible way I managed to convince him that he was mistaken and that I was innocent. The only reason he believed me was because he couldn't accept how I could do something so mean. I'm so disgusted with myself that I can't even look in the mirror. Rado, of course, suspects I lied to him, but still everything is fine with him. However, I do not know how I will look into the happy eyes after what I did. I don't even know how it happened, much less why. Until last night, I didn't know I was capable of doing something so ugly. The other rather unpleasant thing is that Dimitar can still understand the truth, because I'm not 100% sure of Georgi's ability to keep secrets. I'm so sick right now ... I don't know what to do. I want to erase last night from my life. I don't know what to do. I want to erase last night from my life. I don't know what to do. I want to erase last night from my life.
1 ratablancaofficial answered
You write quite sensibly, and at the same time you don't have a gram of reason about alcohol, drugs and infidelity. I can't understand how hard it is to live without being crammed with this shit that can only get you to the bottom, which doesn't seem very far away. Just as you write sensibly, so you can take matters into your own hands - take the case as a warning from above - and succeed. Winnie the Pooh