Difficult Choice

The Story

Hello! I am a 20-year-old student, studying economics at the University of National and World Economy, second year. Ever since I went in there ... I keep thinking that what I'm learning is not for me. I do extremely well in exams, etc., but I don't think this subject generates much interest in me. I've always imagined myself as a business lady, in a suit, beautiful and independent, going to important business meetings, fluent in several languages ​​... you get the idea. The truth, however, is that it's as if I've always wanted to learn something about medicine. I was stopped by the fear that I would not be able to enter the Medical School, the fees for the semesters, the money that had to be set aside for the lessons and everything I needed to be accepted ... And so ... now .. after 2 years of wasting money in Sofia, I wonder WHAT ??? I have the feeling that everything our people give me ... I just don't use it. I do not feel completely happy in this UNWE! I live on the backs of ours, supposedly to be studied, etc., but I still don't see the point in what I'm doing. UNWE does not squeeze me to the end. I started an internship, which I actually finished already, I went to all sorts of business forums and I don't know what other seminars, I enrolled in a language course, but I still don't feel complete. I have the feeling that I am giving my time and money to ours in the wind! I want to say END, to complete a second year, then a year in my hometown to prepare for exams, then apply and law in Medical. BUT I have a huge fear. What if I didn't like it there? Should I take a risk? Would you do it? The people I am surrounded by now, my friends from the group at the university are great, ambitious young people! They're not some naughty malnourished people, which, in fact, I believe are prevalent in this higher education institution. How to separate from them, will I meet such in the new university? There are also disciplines that I like, such as macro, finance, but I still think it's not enough. I've been told that if you don't have enough of what the university gives you and what it requires of you, well, stretch. more, read more .. I've tried, but as I'm not interested, it doesn't work. Ever since 8th grade (maybe even earlier), I've watched documentaries for people with disabilities, surgeries or shows like Embarassing Bodies, Embarassing Ilnesses, My shocking story, etc. And I've been watching them with interest! If I'm sure I'll make a good doctor, I'll drop everything now. But no one and nothing can give me that security. I feel hellishly dumbfounded by this UNWE, I don't feel whole .. Sometimes I think I found myself there, sometimes I read something about physics, chemistry, biology (an article I came across) and I go crazy that I don't study medical physics but I deal with some stupid graphics with 2 dashed lines or I study 2- 3 days for exams and I take them with excellent .. Finally I do not feel satisfied, because in the end I realize that instead of gaining some knowledge, I am one that I do not enrich my general culture (as I claim that I had in high school) , well I feel dumb. I just feel like I have potential that I'm wasting. But I'm afraid to do what I think I would like and what I would be happy with. What if it doesn't work? What if they don't accept me? What if I DON'T LIKE it? I am afraid because I have already made my choice once and at times I think I was wrong. I'm afraid I might make the same mistake again. I'm afraid because all the investment in me goes to waste. How can I tell my mother that everything she has done for me so far is in vain and that I will ask for 2-3 times more than she has given me so far. Many of you may say ... "Well, work while you study", but I don't think that if I study to be a doctor, I will have time for work. I'm confused! and fear is the thing that describes my current condition. I accept any advice, attacks, opinions ... I will also have time for work. I'm confused! and fear is the thing that describes my current condition. I accept any advice, attacks, opinions ... I will also have time for work. I'm confused! and fear is the thing that describes my current condition. I accept any advice, attacks, opinions ...

Last Updated
September 19, 2020
Author:
greeicywells

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