My father was operated on more than 10 years ago for a benign prostate tumor. He later had a colon adenoma removed, but said he had more polyps. He was prescribed some drugs that he did not take. At some point he had a microstroke - one or more. I don't know exactly, because whatever the doctors told him, he wanted to hide his diagnoses from my mother and me. So until 5 years ago. Then he began to have difficulty moving his right leg. Gradually he began to walk harder and harder. We went with him to Alexandrovska Hospital, lay there in neurology for a few days and he was discharged with a diagnosis: initial stage of Alzheimer's. Both diagnoses must have been correct because he had already begun to show signs of dementia and we had him take the medication prescribed by neurologists on a regular basis. We also went to a gastroenterologist for polyps, but they refused to do a colonoscopy again because he was over 75 years old and said he would not pass the test. And we come to that day - the day he died. Not unexpectedly, because his condition had deteriorated a lot, especially in the last 6-7 months. He could barely move, was very weak, and choked on every meal or simply could not swallow normally, had reflux and pain in the esophagus and back, except for his hip pain. I felt that this was not just Alzheimer's, because these pains could hardly be directly linked to dementia. Apparently he has already developed cancer, perhaps with metastases.
At least that's what I think after reading all sorts of information on the Internet, because there was no way we could take him to the hospital, and the doctors would hardly be willing to examine him after he was 82 years old ... So that day, he ate two pieces in the morning and got some severe internal grunting. That's what my mother says. Then he got something like a seizure or suffocation. When I entered the room, he had slipped off the sofa he was sitting on. Maybe he was still alive at the time, I don't know. We tried to lift him to sit up again, but we couldn't because he was very relaxed. I decided he was choking and started patting him on the back, bending him forward and trying to press a few in the diaphragm area as first aid for choking. He vomited something, I can not say consciously or as a spontaneous reaction of the body from movement and pressure. And he never came to himself again. After a few more attempts to bring him back to life somehow, I realized that it was too late. .. Then the doctors came and confirmed his death. But I can't stop blaming myself, and the thought just doesn't leave me that maybe, in my desire to help him, I've done something wrong to hasten his end. Maybe he could have lived at least a little longer if I hadn't intervened, but just waited for the doctors. Or if I hadn't tried to move him and left him lying in the position in which he was relaxing on the couch ...
I don't know, I have no experience with these things, although I attended an emergency course, but obviously I didn't succeed. to apply the knowledge properly from there, when necessary in practice ... Please tell me what you think and be honest! Your opinion will help me a lot, whether you tell me that I killed him or not ..... But I can't stop blaming myself, and the thought just doesn't leave me that maybe, in my desire to help him, I've done something wrong to hasten his end. Maybe he could have lived at least a little longer if I hadn't intervened, but just waited for the doctors. Or if I hadn't tried to move him and left him lying in the position in which he was relaxing on the couch ... I don't know, I have no experience with these things, although I attended an emergency course, but obviously I didn't succeed. to apply the knowledge properly from there, when necessary in practice ... Please tell me what you think and be honest! Your opinion will help me a lot, whether you tell me that I killed him or not ..... But I can't stop blaming myself, and the thought just doesn't leave me that maybe, in my desire to help him, I've done something wrong to hasten his end. Maybe he could have lived at least a little longer if I hadn't intervened, but just waited for the doctors. Or if I hadn't tried to move him and left him lying in the position in which he was relaxing on the couch ...
I don't know, I have no experience with these things, although I attended an emergency course, but obviously I didn't succeed. to apply the knowledge properly from there, when necessary in practice ... Please tell me what you think and be honest! Your opinion will help me a lot, whether you tell me that I killed him or not ..... Maybe he could have lived at least a little longer if I hadn't intervened, but just waited for the doctors. Or if I hadn't tried to move him and left him lying in the position in which he was relaxing on the couch ... I don't know, I have no experience with these things, although I attended an emergency course, but obviously I didn't succeed. to apply the knowledge properly from there, when necessary in practice ... Please tell me what you think and be honest! Your opinion will help me a lot, whether you tell me that I killed him or not ..... Maybe he could have lived at least a little longer if I hadn't intervened, but just waited for the doctors.
Or if I hadn't tried to move him and left him lying in the position in which he was relaxing on the couch ... I don't know, I have no experience with these things, although I attended an emergency course, but obviously I didn't succeed. to apply the knowledge properly from there, when necessary in practice ... Please tell me what you think and be honest! Your opinion will help me a lot, whether you tell me that I killed him or not ..... when necessary in practice ... Please tell me what you think and be honest! Your opinion will help me a lot, whether you tell me that I killed him or not ..... when necessary in practice ... Please tell me what you think and be honest! Your opinion will help me a lot, whether you tell me that I killed him or not .....
1 harlowblue answered
It is absurd to blame yourself for this. By that logic, doctors who have studied and practiced for decades must live in constant guilt if they miss a patient. You did what you could in a hopeless situation. You had no right choice at all - if you had done nothing, you would have thought that you had killed him by your inaction. If you had positioned it differently, you would have thought the same. When the time comes, we are all powerless. Your father lived in agony and, in my opinion, in addition to grief, it is normal to feel relief that his pain is over. I don't know what he would do to live a little longer. How much? A few days, a month? The grief for him and his family would be equally strong. He's gone at a solid age, loved ... there's nothing to blame.