Desperate From The Routine

The Story

Hello readers! My problem is difficult to understand and I guess not everyone would understand me, but those who succeed, please give me advice. I am a teenager, almost 16 years old. From 3-4 years I started to feel changes in myself and in my way of thinking. I have become very pessimistic about everything and I have become very complex, even though I am beautiful (this is what others say). I have no self-confidence, I am constantly nervous. I can barely get out of bed. I don't even want to open my eyes. I don't have many friends, and I can be said to be sociable. I just can't find people with common interests. We are always different, and I am not one of those who always try to belong to others in order to find company. I can't pretend, I can't hide my feelings and quite often people understand when I'm in a bad mood. (almost always). I want to find real friends with whom I can feel some emotional connection, not just "talk". I have the feeling that I have gone through and experienced everything without even "trying the fruit". I get tired of everything and lose interest. Separately, I feel like "mom and dad's baby." Others are already working, sitting out late, traveling back and forth. And I can't cook on my own, let alone look for a job, and at 15 I don't know how it is. Otherwise I am an excellent student, I do my duty for the years. I never learned to be independent. No matter how hard I try, I can't relax and enjoy my youth. I keep thinking about every incident, every action and word of mine. I nobly envy those who can talk for hours and manage to become the center of attention. I keep calling myself that things will change as I grow up, I won't have such a boring routine, but 3 years later there is no difference. I despaired completely. Not to mention my social contacts with boys ... there are none. On the streets I see them looking at me only 20+, which I wonder why. I will be happy to receive an answer.

Last Updated
September 13, 2020
Author:
biggermancock9

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