I am a boy of almost 23 years old, who have been getting worse and worse for the last few months. Nothing goes as I want, I no longer have a desire for anything and I see no meaning in anything. The last thing that completes the picture is an injury in my left shoulder, which, in addition to most likely ending the sports I like, also makes daily activities a challenge. I am becoming more and more pessimistic about my future. For about 4 months now, I have been crying almost every day, contemplating suicide, and what depresses me even more is the feeling that no one will miss me. Maybe I'm stopped by knowing what I'm going to do to my parents. For a long time I haven't been able to find a girlfriend and the gossip about it from friends further depresses me. For those who will immediately tell a psychiatrist, I will answer that I do not want to because I do not want to drink antidepressants, which will most likely prescribe me.