My grandmother also died recently. This is the only family I've lost in my conscious life for now, except for my grandfather when I was very young. I feel sadness, but I didn't cry, even around my relatives, when they cried. Personally, I was just mentally tuned, because neither for my grandmother nor for my relatives was a normal way of life, to watch it constantly, feed, bathe and everything. And the woman didn't even talk about the last half year. It's sad, but it's life.
I survived and still relive something like yours
Don't blame yourself for what you feel, whether it's sadness or relief
It is normal to not be able to experience exactly the same level of grief, for example, as you cannot constantly have immense happiness
The reasons may have been set deep within us, perhaps the shock of such an event, I do not know, I can not say for sure, it is strictly individual. It doesn't mean that you didn't love the person and that you're not in order, just assume that you are experiencing things at this point.
For myself I know that those I love are in a better place without suffering, this is my tiny consolation, I know that when I die I will be with them. I can't cut myself for example, but sometimes my heart hurts so much
So don't blame yourself, but keep loving, this will make you stronger, success
Condolences.
You don't feel anything, probably because you've suffered a lot and you're pretrpnala. Or maybe it's because of what you wrote at the end of the story.
Oh, baby! Sorry! With time each of us loses our loved ones and the pain of loss is intolerable, just for that, in order not to go crazy from grief, your body has mechanisms to protect itself. I guess something like that happened to you, the shock was so big, the pain so strong that at some point you just fell into some kind of stupor and stopped feeling anything. As you say it is possible, as strange as it may sound, to experience relief that your grandmother is already well, that she is in a better place, that nothing hurts her anymore and does not suffer. You know, when my grandfather died at the first moment, I couldn't even think of it, I was normal, I might even have some music... Just like crazy! They tell me grandpa died, and I look stupid, listen to some funny song, and I don't react! It was in the first hour somewhere, then suddenly, however, the pain and realization overwhelmed me in full force and I rinsed my eyes. I guess sometimes it happens when the blow is so cruel, it's just that your mind refuses to accept it. Don't worry, in time, your tears will come back and then the relief, until finally there's a dull pain that will be with you forever, and you will feel it in your heart every time you remember about your loved one. It's horrible! But this is life! We can't change it! But now just leave it to your emotions, no matter how crazy you look. This is the way to get over the enormous grief without unhook. And remember, you're not alone! Your grandmother will never abandon you completely! I'm just going to get you in a little different way.
1 lana_del_bae answered