It's hard for me to talk and share this sad news about me. It's like I'm blocking my thoughts, and I don't believe what happened like I'm trying to keep the only good memory of my grandmother. She was like my second mother, and I'm going to miss her. The wonder for me and what I don't understand is why I don't feel sadness. I loved her very much, and when my grandfather went away, I cried a lot and I was in complete shock, and now I'm even feeling relieved. I'm not normal? I feel the smell of smoke and flowers around me, a very relaxing smell as if I am in complete peace or intoxication. Indeed, grandmother suffered very much in her last days, and maybe it makes me not mourn her death. Why can't I feel anything?