Creating A Family

The Story

Hello. I want to share my story with you and hear your opinion. I'm 26, my girlfriend is 23. We met on Facebook, and we've been together for almost 2 years. In the beginning we were just friends and nothing more. At the moment she wants us to live together, and talks about children and family. But, at the moment I am a student of "Finance part-time, improving my English, and I am unemployed. I have savings from my previous job and I am in the process of changing the city and looking for a more qualified job. That is, I can not offer what he wants she at the moment because I think I'm not financially stable to offer a family to the girl next to me. Even the thought that a child may appear scares me terribly. Not that I don't want to, on the contrary, but how will I support him with a ridiculous salary from 600-800 BGN How will I offer him a good future, home, conditions to grow and so on ..!? The other thing that bothers me is that the constant pressure from her to live together somehow pulled me away from her, and she is not a bad person. But I just kind of look at the material, and it is not what I think is not very common nowadays. Otherwise, she is beautiful, smart, educated and works as a primary school teacher. He is also studying for a master's degree. As a person she is very good, but at the same time very jealous. I would even say that it suffocates me at times. I will give an example: because, I had to add a colleague from the university to send me lectures. She asked me the question why am I adding her? !! And do I need it? I removed it naturally, but the same thing happened in a group where my colleagues and I help each other. No, I like pictures of other girls, even acquaintances, because she doesn't like it. I don't have the right to go out for coffee with my colleagues if there are girls. We share the transport to the university with one of the girls, and she told me that she no longer wanted this girl to travel with me because she was uncomfortable. And I would betray me, on the contrary, this is base for me. It just kind of burdens me that he doesn't believe me. Constant explanations of what I did and why make me tired. Somehow I stopped caring and if we see each other, I don't miss him as much as before. Sometimes I act like a complete nerd and I realize that it hurts her. I began to think about how I would manage on my own, what I should do and achieve in life in order to become more financially stable and to be able to offer the woman next to me a better life. I don't want to be a millionaire, I just want to offer the best I can one day if I have children, because I grew up in misery and with an alcoholic father. Which also kept my mother in front of my eyes, but that doesn't matter. It is important what I do so that I do not become one. This girl has helped me a lot in my life, and I don't want to break up. A year ago, I developed a panic disorder due to the constant stress of work and lack of money. She was next to me. He didn't leave me for a moment during the nasty times. Lately, we've been arguing all the time over her unreasonable jealousy, even last night she cried when we argued and said she only wanted me. Somehow I feel obligated to be with her because she helped me in a difficult time for me. But, I also think that my feelings are not the same as before and I have somehow cooled down towards her and I don't know what to do. If I leave her, I'll hurt her a hell of a lot and she doesn't deserve it. But, on the other hand, somehow I don't know whether to continue blindly as I'm not sure of my feelings. Share your opinion. Thanks in advance.

Last Updated
November 02, 2020