Constant Fear Of Losing It

The Story

Hello! I think I need help ... I'm going with a boy, a great boy, the most amazing boy I know. We have known each other for 5 years, we have been dating for 1 year and we are terribly close, we love each other and for me he is the most perfect creature that exists, he is my dream boy. With that comes my biggest fear - not to lose it. When I feel this way, when someone is so perfect to me, I put myself under it a lot and I am constantly afraid that someday he will say to himself "She is not good enough" and will leave me. He is happy with me, but I am constantly afraid for how long. I don't know how to overcome it, I am afraid of everything - of every girl who looks at him, of every time he goes out, of every action of his, which suggests to me "He doesn't do that anymore, why did he stop telling me that". some kind of paranoia .. And the strangest thing is, that I don't show it to him in any way, I'm probably the only friend who gives so much freedom to her partner. That's why he loves me, he doesn't feel pressured for anything, I never get angry with him when he cancels a meeting and so on. Naturally, I film and torture myself internally, but in front of him I am the most wonderful boyfriend. I just want to be like that really. Otherwise I will lose him, I will lose everyone this way, I have to overcome this thing, but it is difficult to talk to him .. He is really wonderful, do not think that I idealize him because I am in love. My friends, his parents, (on both sides), all instill in me how amazing and good he is and that he wouldn't hurt a fly .. Sometimes I even film that he is with me because of that ... I constantly think that he can't love me so much that I can't reach him with anything, that I am not good enough for him accordingly it is not possible for him to reconcile with me. I am in some complete horror .. Help: ((

Last Updated
September 06, 2020
Author:
reprichardneal

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