Condemned Souls - But A More Dramatic Option!

My story is long, wrong and very wrong =) Five years ago, when I was 14, I fell in love with a 40-year-old monk and because of him I started working in the church where he lived. The first year he didn't miss a way to be rude to me, to scold me ... he shouted at me a lot. The second year revealed that my feelings were strong and we started walking late at night and talking about various philosophical topics, but then I did not understand anything about it. He had to end his relationship with me because of the church board, and I was kicked out of there - as it should be. I suffered a lot from him and the life I led, I started dating drug addicts and I failed a lot, I started dating a lot of guys, I became something he said he despised. One day we met on the road and I told him about my life, he wanted to help me and that's why we went out for a few nights, then he allowed me to cuddle in him, but I had done so many things that it was not sexual enough for me at all. So on the last day, mine admitted that at the beginning of our relationship she liked that I had mental disorders and that infuriated me - I got up and left, but the next day I went to church and said what we had done with him the previous days. For these words of mine, he suffered a lot, the people there believed him, and he betrayed them, and I betrayed him ... So now I went back to the church to be close to him, but no matter how he apologized to him he despises me. He used to have that right, but not anymore - I have changed a lot, I have become his ideal, but he can't see it, and can I show it to him So on the last day, mine admitted that at the beginning of our relationship she liked that I had mental disorders and that infuriated me - I got up and left, but the next day I went to church and said what we had done with him the previous days. For these words of mine, he suffered a lot, the people there believed him, and he betrayed them, and I betrayed him ... So now I went back to the church to be close to him, but no matter how he apologized to him he despises me. He used to have that right, but not anymore - I have changed a lot, I have become his ideal, but he can't see it, and can I show it to him? So on the last day, mine admitted that at the beginning of our relationship she liked that I had mental disorders and that infuriated me - I got up and left, but the next day I went to church and said what we had done with him the previous days. For these words of mine, he suffered a lot, the people there believed him, and he betrayed them, and I betrayed him ... So now I returned to the church to be close to him, but no matter how he apologized to him he despises me. He used to have that right, but not anymore - I have changed a lot, I have become his ideal, but he can't see it, and can I show it to him? and he betrayed them, and I betrayed him ... So now I returned to the church to be close to him, but no matter how I apologized to him, he despised me. He used to have that right, but not anymore - I have changed a lot, I have become his ideal, but he can't see it, and can I show it to him? and he betrayed them, and I betrayed him ... So now I returned to the church to be close to him, but no matter how I apologized to him, he despised me. He used to have this right, but not anymore - I have changed a lot, I have become his ideal, but he can't see it, and do I have a way to show it to him?