Hello! I decided to share my story here because I really need someone to share their experience in similar situations and if they can give me advice. I have been with my friend for 5 years. We had many difficult moments, we were in terrible situations, but we always managed in the end and our relationship survived. In the last 1-2 years our relations have smoothed out a lot, we no longer have arguments, of course I am quite well with some exceptions. But these exceptions are likely to overturn the cart, because they are on many general issues. One problem is that he has a fear of attachment. Although so much time has passed since we were together, he often tries to defend his personal space, sometimes with harsh "measures". He repeats to me that he has no intention of committing permanently and if I want to do so I can look for another. I also don't want a wedding or anything like that right now. But I can't even explain it to him because he thought I wanted to "tie" him. It comes out as a kind of accusation that one day I want to have a family and children. The other problem is that he cares a lot about his career because he works in a prestigious and good company. Of course, I respect that and I try not to disturb him when he's busy, but sometimes I have the feeling that work is everything for him and if we have to separate because of that, he will do it on time. He tells me he loves me. But when it comes to work and money, he just becomes different. I also feel slight beginnings of indifference in him when we are not together, from which I suffer a lot. I'm working too. I like my job, but I wouldn't trade it for what we have with him after so many years together. I'm afraid, that this is a whirlpool that is yet to unfold. Maybe we should break up in spite of everything before it's too late, even though it may have already happened. What can I do, help me ! :(
1 riviera72 answered
Really difficult situation. This is a decision you have to make yourself. In order to have harmony, many compromises are needed. I understand you very well, because I am currently going through a very painful separation after 7 years of marriage. I hate sections and I think you will be able to find the right path to each other, because from what I read your situation is not inescapable. I hope that by the time I write these lines, things have settled down. I'm squeezing your thumbs.