I am a 17 year old boy. My life is very hard. Since I was a child I have always managed on my own. When I was in 1st grade, ours were abroad. On the first day of school, I watched the children be with their mothers and fathers. I envied them a lot. After a while, my father came, but he was sad that his mother was gone and he found solace in alcohol. Indescribable things happened, but fortunately this consolation of his remained in the past and he forgot about alcohol. When I was in 7th grade I already had a family again, but somehow my childhood passed - I can't play football, I was shy, but 2-3 years ago I relaxed. When I was in 8th grade and moved to the new school, I didn't talk to almost anyone because I was a closed person. Not so now, but most of my contacts in my class are with girls. My boys make fun of me for studying. I want to be a doctor, so that I can have a good salary and not be able to leave my children after a while to go abroad to work. I have a lot of boy friends, but they are not from school. They think I'm the opposite, but it's not. For 2 years I have been living alone again, with my grandmother and this is driving me crazy, because I can't share anything with anyone! I went with a girl for a long time, but it turned out to be a complete waste of time. I have had other connections. Now is the time to say that I'm not some ugly person, on the contrary (I don't want to be arrogant ...) Then I fell in love with my best friend, I tried to admit everything to her, but she has a friend. Then he read everything we wrote to each other (this happened at the beginning of January) and in the evening we would fight .. But he can't do it alone and that's why he called another boy much bigger and you know what happened .. I haven't said a word to the girl since then, but the truth is that I love her very much and I miss her! I can't watch them together and the thought of having no one to share it with drives me crazy. Sometimes I want to die! And the worst thing of all is that I'm alone again! My story is quite long, but I can't write it all in detail here.
1 giumoriconi answered
Author, the important thing is not to lose sight of your goals. I believe it's hard because of unrequited love, but rest assured - time heals such things. However, if you commit suicide today, here and now, what will you achieve? The world will continue to spin without you and everything would be in vain. You remind me a lot of myself 11 years ago. I finally decided not to do nonsense and I focused 100% on learning because I wanted to live better than my parents. AND SUCCESS. I was ridiculed a lot for being a bison, etc., but this year we have a 10th anniversary of graduation and it will be seen who has achieved what. I'm happy. I have 2 houses, I drive a big jeep and I happily refuel for BGN 200, while some of my former classmates work for half a month for this money (literally). My pocket money per day is equal to one of their monthly salaries. 11 years ago I would be happy about it, but today I just feel sorry for those people who once mocked and harassed me in order to be mocked and harassed for life ... Life knows its job. The years will pass and you will receive your dissertation paid today. The same girl who today does not have the courage to stand behind you in 10 years will be the ruined wife of such a thug, will be exhausted with her two children in a rental box and will serve at the checkout of a gas station, if she is lucky. Such women never end well because they do not know what they want in life and choose the wrong men who only pull them back. However, if you do not give up now and overcome your difficulties, one day you will be a wealthy, EDUCATED and desired man and you will choose among the best women. No educated and successful babe of 20 will go with a miser and a beater. Nowadays, women try to have a successful man by their side with whom they can look after family and children. You have seen for yourself how important it is to be qualified and have a good income. I studied and worked like crazy for 10 years, but I know why. From Cinderella I became a modern princess - I have money for cosmetics, for a hairdresser, nice and branded clothes, an expensive car ... and once I went to the prom in a suit for BGN 50 and borrowed shoes, there was no money for a trip, I wore thick glasses and the cheapest splint for your crooked teeth. I feel sorry for my former classmates, but that's the way it is in life. To everyone according to their merits. I will pay the whole bill at the meeting of our course, because most of them cannot afford BGN 20-30 for a restaurant. Sad story ... it's up to you what type of people you will be. You have set a very high, but also a very good goal. If you do not allow the difficulties on your way to distract you, you will one day become a successful doctor, a good father and husband. His various girls and teasing at school are temporary things. Don't take them so seriously. Emphasize learning. It is most important to you if you want to live better than your parents.