Can I Still Love?

   God, you're a mother whore, I was ... I'm a little sorry for fuckers like you. That you are not capable of a drop of real emotion, empathy and depth ... is super sad. Not for you, either. It's up to you through the imaginary cock, but still. Alive and healthy. It is difficult for a woman to be part of many families, because when they push your oven, there is no way. Brother.

   I am shocked to the point that I doubt the truth of this story. However, I thought, I actually know people like you, and judging by the sex suggestions an average woman gets ... you may not be lying. Another topic is that most people have a "filter / checkpoint" and do not reach a huge number of sexual partners life dramas. Look, I won't lie to you. You are neither nice to me nor disgusting to me. In other words, I don't know you at all and I have no intention of judging your actions at a young age. I will not teach you, even though I want to. Sex with love is something that satisfies all your senses to the last. You evaluate ordinary sex according to orgasm, and sex with love, kissing, you evaluate it with kisses, passion and touch. In other words, when you love someone, you don't care about the final destination, and from the journey itself. We are not even talking about orgasm, we are talking about a complete experience. Nirvana. If you love someone, I mean to really love them, you don't need anything extraneous, because what you want is already in bed, in the apartment, in the car, all around you. So, no, I don't think you ever really loved and I don't think you ever made love. If you make love, then sex without feelings seems to you a whim of the body, a simple physiological need. You have lived and lived well, only where you lack understanding of sex, love, human relationships, empathy. You are a bit selfish and a bit selfish. I do not see you as a person who is ready to create a healthy family. Believe me, I don't put any emotion into these lines, I don't want you to feel affected. I try to answer your questions without expressing my personal opinion, but at the same time I have to give an opinion, anyway. You could become like your father, but wherever you run against him, you will not catch up with him for the simple reason that you are a woman. You can get married, have 10 lovers, get a divorce and then repeat the procedure many more times, but you are a woman. The man can be a parent and without knowing it, such a plot does not exist for a woman. The man may never be sure that he really is a father ... the woman certainly remembers that she gave birth and she certainly knows that she was pregnant, therefore she is really a mother. Your father had the opportunity to drag several parallel families, but you can't succeed. Your absolute maximum would be to convince your husband that he is the father of your lover's children. I'm not going to comment on the whole moral degradation of anything you could create as a married woman, but you can't even have parallel families. This thought should not reassure you. You probably know how your mother suffered in the past, keep in mind that because of your actions other women have suffered and will suffer in the same way. The situation is not rosy, I will not stick epithets, but tighten until you have completely raised it. You currently have no children, no family commitments, and you are a single woman. Everything will be very complicated when you have a ring on the ring finger and a cot in the corner of the room. Listen now, when you meet love you will understand. I will not waste your head on nonsense anymore. If you wonder and ask yourself such questions, then you have not really met love. Try to organize your life and stop acting like the person you don't want to be. You probably know how your mother suffered in the past, keep in mind that because of your actions other women have suffered and will suffer in the same way. The situation is not rosy, I will not stick epithets, but tighten until you have completely grown it. You currently have no children, no family commitments, and you are a single woman. Everything will be very complicated when you have a ring on the ring finger and a cot in the corner of the room. Listen now, when you meet love you will understand. I will not waste your head on nonsense anymore. If you wonder and ask yourself such questions, then you have not really met love. Try to organize your life and stop acting like the person you don't want to be. You probably know how your mother suffered in the past, keep in mind that because of your actions other women have suffered and will suffer in the same way. The situation is not rosy, I will not stick epithets, but tighten until you have completely grown it. At the moment you do not have several children, you have no family commitments and you are a single woman. Everything will be very complicated when you have a ring on the ring finger and a cot in the corner of the room. Listen now, when you meet love you will understand. I will not waste your head on nonsense anymore. If you wonder and ask yourself such questions, then you have not really met love. Try to organize your life and stop acting like the person you don't want to be. until you totally raised it. At the moment you do not have several children, you have no family commitments and you are a single woman. Everything will be very complicated when you have a ring on the ring finger and a cot in the corner of the room. Listen now, when you meet love you will understand. I will not waste your head on nonsense anymore. If you wonder and ask yourself such questions, then you have not really met love. Try to organize your life and stop acting like the person you don't want to be. until you totally raised it. At the moment you do not have several children, you have no family commitments and you are a single woman. Everything will be very complicated when you have a ring on the ring finger and a cot in the corner of the room. Listen now, when you meet love you will understand. I will not waste your head on nonsense anymore. If you wonder and ask yourself such questions, then you have not really met love. Try to organize your life and stop acting like the person you don't want to be.

   The author: 2 and 3, you spoke somehow in black and white. I hope that there will be an inclusion from someone with a more complicated life destiny than: I met love, we put on the rings, we filled the basket, we died on the same day, holding hands. Besides, I'm sure you're both not heavenly angels, married to the same angels (and empaths, of course, hahahaha). You just like to play a moral role in the forum. I, on the other hand, need to discuss my dark side anonymously.

   Number 4, they're right, not that they like it. It's disgusting to have to write it, but people like you ... under the road and over the road ....

   I'm inviting you to a hotel, I want to see the dark side. It will probably happen as you think.

   Author, I found it so interesting that I even finished reading about your long topic. You talk about love, passion and sex, but somehow distant. The emotion has been stated many times, but as an impartial fact, I did not feel it once. Of course, when you say it, it obviously exists for you, in some form. But you probably can't pass it on to others. I would assume that you have a serious problem connecting with others on an emotional level. This also explains the development of your relationship. Maybe the root really is in your father, somehow it is not surprising such a development against the background of a father who maintains several parallel relationships. Intimacy is compromised. I think you have to answer the question are you looking to change something, do you want to connect with people at different levels? I think it would be useful to go to the analysis,

   Author, you don't have to be so offensive and sarcastic to commentators. They told you quite honestly what they thought of you. Imagine, for most people, whores are not so nice and respected, even for those who use them. If you are so excited - yes, you follow in the footsteps of your father, as you know the pear does not fall far from the tree. I don't know how old you are, but a woman's good years pass quickly and if you don't focus on one, you will become less and less agile and desirable, young, fresh songs come out every day, you can't keep them in competition. As for life's destinies, you are wrong, a person with a love affair, but real and marked forever, to which he is completely devoted, went through all sorts of moments of happiness and pain with it can have a more complex, complete and interesting life than someone ,, who has jumped into multiple beds just to scratch his genitals or ego, as you call him. But not everyone is given to meet love, not just the sex of their lives. Because it requires complete surrender, forgetting the ego, sacrifices that egoists and lovers of a comfortable life are not capable of.

   Number 4, I'm number 6. Isn't Vrossa 'who will I love', I soon found out that everything that happens to me I've thought about before. Except for love, sometimes they seduce me, but I don't know what to do with them. There are more, but I don't know if you will read more here that there are many judges. You also write very well. I want to talk.

   I was personally confused, whether it was a man or a living with one. I've always wondered how there can be such emotionally disabled people who fly from person to person and live with one or the other. And in a short period of time. This is wear and tear, pure wear and tear of you as a person. I didn't read the whole story because I was confused about who was who and with whom, when and how long I lived. Many partners, especially if you live with them, wear out. Everyone who has been in your life, even for a few months, leaves a part of themselves, and takes a part of you. But people like you, who fly from person to person, do not realize it. Gained experience.

   The author: 7, I assume that only you have read the whole topic. I knew it would happen, and I've been thinking for a long time about how to tell my life in less words, but apparently that's how much I have the opportunity to summarize. My father is a very special person (and without knowing his skeletons in the closet). I have never seen such a person ... except when I look at myself. At 2 and 3 they found it very funny how I would go from house to house and spawn everywhere, but I'm not talking about that, of course, I'm talking about my deep inner world. You see, I realize that I don't have his timeless masculine charm and other masculine abilities and freedoms, I will believe that I am an aging whore and that whores are not nice (8, I am also honest and moralists are not nice either, nothing personal), and I will continue to behave decently, as I have been doing for years. Rather, I am interested in what kind of person I am and whether my development as a person has ended and manifested itself to the end. You may have heard that a person is shaken by various crises in ten years and does unexpected things.

   Well, we are black and white, author, and so it should be. Man is either decent and moral, or he is not. There is no middle ground. From a decent and moral at 22

   Yes, you still can't love, you have to fall in love with a bigger egoist and narcissist than you, to collapse and you will understand it, I hope it happens to you, greetings.

   The author: 13, I was curious if you are selfish and narcissistic or do you love someone like that or have you been dumped / cheated on because of someone like that or do you have observations on other couples? Greetings. 10, sorry I made it difficult for you to read. There are 2 cohabitations with boys so far. Are there many - probably yes. I always wanted to live alone, but I had to. I do not know at all which experience is not wasted, an interesting question. 6 and 9, thank you, you are very kind. I didn't understand if they make love sometimes or potential love? I don't know what to do with them either. Every choice we make changes our lives more or less, but how do we make the right choice? I have visions for the future, but they are very short and only confuse me. When the vision comes true, I am amazed at the context in which it came true. I really hope to write well and one day write whole books, but after the comments on this topic I already have some concerns about the emotional response from readers. : D What a hotel, those here will burn me at the stake if I stick my nose out of the house. In recent years, I do not go out much and do not communicate with almost any people. This leaves me more time to admire myself and immerse myself, and my friend is calmer. I continue with the topic of my father, and without that most of the writers here hated me on the basis of gender, as if they were more tolerant of my father. My father is a high-class self-absorbed person (understand a category I haven't grown up to yet, but if I continue to develop, it's not known), self-absorbed to the extent that his wife is far from the only person who doesn't bother him. He spends a lot of time reading, as if there is no living person around him, and tells things that are listened to to himself, while the delighted listeners feed him and sing at his own expense. Women willingly conceive and give birth to it, proud of the kind of intellectual the father of the children is. They support the children alone or with the help of other men, relatives and others. My father, when he consumes everything in one house, smiles like an angel and grabs his hat. Thanks to this house, let's go to another. If he decides to pass again, the door is always open for him. After comment number 7, I thought about it and dug around the internet for emotionally inaccessible people. I found quite familiar sounding things. In some places they go straight to the question of men with parallel relationships. I recognized myself, my father, my best friends, and other acquaintances. Such people inflict emotional trauma on others without blinking, something my friend says about me. We both have a joke that I'm a snake in his bosom. He's always trying to re-educate me, but I don't know if I'm going to spoil him first. I've probably been emotionally inaccessible since time immemorial - I remember as a child being reprimanded for behaving unnaturally, especially with my father, but with everything I knew about him, his personal example and hereditary factors anyway.

   Number 13 - hmm, yes, the author - I'm a former egoist and narcissist. Taking stock now, after the "big fall", I didn't know how to love at all. I personally don't know exactly how to explain it, it's something to do with the soul. Not that I haven't had a soul before, but it's kind of different and now I can look at all people in a much deeper way, full of empathy. I used to watch them and find flaws, sometimes empathy, but they irritated me with their weaknesses, and I idealized those I fell in love with in a childish way. If I have to be even more objective, there is some interconnectedness between my choices (though not the best choices). I see something similar in your writings - engaged, living far away, difficult ... All choices that will prove to you that you are more than others if a denouement occurs. I didn't get married or in a relationship because I thought that I am below the level of breaking ties, but I have made other donkeys, no smaller ones. I had two parallel relationships and a best friend, of course - in love with me, but no less a narcissist than me (at this stage of our personal development he would hardly have been interested in me if I hadn't put myself in a position, Here, within these brackets, I will tell you a little about him, just by asking if I have experience with people like us - conscious or not.He - a handsome man, with a blue eye - turquoise - a fabulous manipulator not only with appearance and words, everything was perfect - 7 years did not find a girlfriend, and gravitated around me and my stupid sex stories.I did not realize that he was suffering, I loved him as a friend.But I did not delve deeper into him, otherwise it wouldn't have happened, nor did he delve deeper into me — a depth in the form of unselfish interest. During these 7 years, girls of his son's age, women of all ages, rich, poor, abandoned, beautiful, all sorts of things stuck to him, but he made them two cents in front of me and we laughed. We were laughing!!! And I told him about the funny men I make on "wild ladybugs," as another friend of mine, Narcissus, puts it. You have noticed very well that daffodils attract and like each other, and my friends are daffodils. My friend in question, after 7 years of suffering with me, took it that he realized, I was not yet, he caught a friend - again narcissistic, but again aware and they got married. ). My two parallel relationships were not disguised, as was the case with your father. Maybe I jumped over some level of ruthlessness and mental poverty, I just convinced them, that this is best for the three of us. I really believed myself, however, I rarely manipulated in order to laugh at someone. They accepted my arguments. However, a fourth sadistic narcissist appeared, and he helped me understand how far I had strayed from reality. The hard way, but it opened my eyes to a much fuller life. Otherwise, I had taken the path of treating the human being as a simple mechanism. My topic is very interesting, I rarely find someone who wants to understand the dark side without having a definite point of view. Watch the film about Edward Bernays on YouTube, he is a nephew of Freud and is the founder of modern PR, formerly called propaganda. The film depicts him eating and at the same time explaining how he manipulates the masses and foreign governments. The human psyche is adaptable, choose whether you want power and more power or soul, or adaptation to what man deserves against you. As you have shown, you humans are not black and white. The "freezers" are elementary particles that have never questioned what, how and why, do not attach themselves to them, but they also have a soul, although after 10 years of marriage the first narcissist will enchant them and will leave a man, and a child, because that's enough for them - the gray matter, the white, de. If we go back to your questions about my humble personality - they did not cheat on me, and infidelity is a matter of worldview, for me, not for the pink pony that the horse is chasing. Personally, I would be disgusted by my friend sleeping with others, I do not know how clean they are and what they do in parallel. And he's a narcissist, I can't tell how narcissistic he is, who does good for me and doesn't cheat on me because of his personal dignity and desire to shine or because of caring for me, maybe about twenty percent cares about how I feel, and 80 how he cares about me, so I won't have any scruples to replace it. And I'm fine. To everyone - according to what is deserved, to no one - causeless harm. There is no point in dealing with the Knights of the White Mystery and the Warriors of Light. We are with them from a different dough. But it is not a great idea to start thinking of people as pawns, it is a lonely activity and brings only destruction, it is fatal not only for them, but also for the depth of your happiness. You need a little faith, otherwise an intelligent person who delves in this direction, loses about 96, 3204 percent of the value in the taste for life, according to English scientists. At the moment you sound proud and smug, regardless of the others, explaining his life, it is a complex of inferiority. All daffodils have an inferiority complex, which is why we are more capable than the mass of people, the idea I am trying to share with you is that you are not the only one in this world. Look for some balance and try to apply more empathy, especially to yourself. Stop collecting material for coffee conversations, collect for stories, you write well, you are straight, read the novel Fear of Flying, it is in the reading room - Erika Jong. There is a lot of talk about psychoanalysts, when the sadist hurt me I went to a psychotherapist, he showed me a calendar with flowers - WTF, I asked him. If I had seen the beauty of the world. That I see her, the beauty of the world, I told him, but what you're showing me is a picture of a gifted photographer photographing flowers in a jug, it's kitschy and pointless. He called his two colleagues, I remember how great I felt - all of them paying attention to me, and I paid only 10 leva per hour and he had told me that I could go without paying, but I'm a narcissist ... And I went to turn them and all three, it's a great challenge, finally mine burst into tears and told me - I really want to help you. Well, then something happened to me, I had never seen a person care so much about me. I would never have imagined that a talentless photographer took a picture of a soul. I sincerely wish you not to take a wrong path. One slap, however, is sobering. * finally mine burst into tears and told me - I really want to help you. Well, then something happened to me, I had never seen a person care so much about me. I would never have imagined that a talentless photographer took a picture. I sincerely wish you not to take a wrong path. One slap, however, is sobering. * finally mine burst into tears and told me - I really want to help you. Well, then something happened to me, I had never seen a person care so much about me. I would never have imagined that a talentless photographer took a picture. I sincerely wish you not to take a wrong path. One slap, however, is sobering. *

   Author: First of all, thank you to the moralizers for keeping the topic going. 15, its quite deep in the topic, thanks for the inclusion. Sounds familiar to me with your best friend. I thought of my former best friend and her best friend. I don't know if there was hidden love with them, they were more like brother and sister or like mother and son. In the same way, they thought they were more than just each other, and they laughed behind their girlfriends' backs (not exactly boyfriends, but "substitutes"). I was flattered that they allowed me to attend their conversations. I also felt them as something above others and as the only people who would understand me. All three of us fell in love with this accumulation of material, which I write about in the topic. For the boy, I can also say that he did not feel his relationships or sex (there were such boys!). The girl, unlike us, took great pleasure in sex and really loved her secret married lover. Otherwise, all three of us had a great impossible love, I wrote about mine in the topic, and many substitutes. Somewhere here we had stories with parallel connections, but we tried not to deal with very serious people, so that no one was so injured. We always wondered how long we would drive it like that, we loved going to fortune tellers. The general opinion was that the boy would first surrender and peel off from us, marry an ordinary girl and have a child, and our friend would chase the wild to the end. I - something average. That's what happened to the boy. At first some connections were made with him, our friend opened his eyes for a while, that he was unnecessarily humiliated, but in the end we lost him. I decided to kind of calm down, when my forced cohabitation with boys began (the reasons are not interesting), two in a row. My friend approved of them both and even helped a lot for the latter, but she convinced me that I should continue to have sex with new men and always look for something better, as well as not to give up the thinker. There is an iron logic in her words, especially since she knows me very well, but somehow I can't bear to continue in the same way. When I don't feel like it, she pulls away and leaves me ashamed. My friend, as I said, suits me in every way, but (or because of that) I don't think he's one of ours. He is attracted to suffering souls who can be calmed in some way, and he himself has always been depressed since I have known him. Is it empath? Or ... delving into other topics and the books recommended there, I came across the following: "You may be prone to depression, which you try to suppress by indulging in the excitement of an unstable relationship." Not to sound completely sadistic, but could my boyfriend need a narcissistic girlfriend and therefore not find a normal girl? You talk about daffodils as quite charming people that others fall fatally in love with. For sadistic daffodils - as for those who fall in love with ordinary daffodils. Sorry, if I'm confusing the concepts, these things are new to me: an unconscious narcissistic narcissist. What kind of narcissist were you and what kind of person did you become? If you are a former narcissist, what are you in the present? Do you seriously recommend therapy with falling in love with an even bigger daffodil? I've collapsed twice because of the same person (I find some narcissistic and sadistic traits in him), but then I obviously don't come out as something other than a narcissus, maybe even harden. I have girlfriends overthrown by outright sadists, and they are hardening too. Regarding the feeling of inferiority and pride and complacency, these are my normal states, which I go through several times a day, my girlfriends too, I know such men. I don't know what it's like with the "normal". My friend seems to feel inferior all the time. He must have another side of the coin, but I don't see it yet. I have always liked flower vases, they are beautiful. Like when you can't get everything from a relationship with one person and you get it from more than one to get a unique mosaic of different emotions at the cost of an unknown number of broken hearts.

   Look, I'm not a psychotherapist, and even a decent psychotherapist will tell you not to take anything said even from him as pure coin. Keep this in mind when reading any information. Normal people are looking for a normal life - family, house, children and a dog. This is enough for them to feel significant; Which doesn't mean they don't poison us on social media with pictures of dumb kids and love quotes. Daffodils - the need to prove themselves, to get approval, to shine above others. They can do harm, but they don't realize it and feel guilty when they realize the other's pain. Narcissus - a sadist - needs to harm intentionally to maintain narcissism. He enjoys watching someone suffer. This may be the only way he can experience sexual arousal. Semi-conscious narcissist - he has understood his dark side and has decided which way to take - the socially responsible (not to harm) or the fraudulently more profitable (to gain benefits - narcissistic, monetary, emotional, sexual ...). He maintains his narcissism quite deliberately and knows how to do it. Conscious narcissist - freed from the need to prove himself to himself and to others. If it sometimes shines, it is not necessary, but for pleasure. It does no harm and understands the value of life in depth. You look like a semi-conscious narcissist to me, because you already understand your power.

More or less at your stage, when I needed to waste big money, I went to the shops that sell herbs. I talked to the saleswomen about various teas and nonsense, then I wanted to buy something imaginary, which of course they didn't have, and I went out with spoiled money and a few promotional teas as a bonus. I made my boss - an unconscious narcissist - climb a substation. His need to prove himself was much stronger than the stupidity that daffodils are capable of seeking approval. Understand, an unconscious narcissist is even more susceptible to manipulation than moralists who blindly follow God's commandments. I have formed my idea of ​​the world and of everything that exists as a dialectical process. A spiral in time and space. These ten commandments of God are an indisputable truth, but the moralists do not fully understand them, they follow. Their ego is based on the fact that they are not wrong. How long are they not wrong? While some deluded narcissist deliberately or in his desire to be "normal" did not disperse their family. You know how, I hardly need to write to you. You've collected so many stories that Scheherazade would envy you, I'm sure. Now imagine a "normal" man who rummages on the net that women don't like good guys (and they don't like them because they're boring), falls for you (your boyfriend) and you give him the emotion in question, albeit a lot. lame way.

He is still at the beginning of the dialectical spiral I was talking about, if he had come across a "normal" woman, he would now have a dog. But he came across you, he knew the hormonal emotion, not the pure love from the children's books. And now he tolerates you because he is at a dead end. In fact, you're hurting him right now. Is there a need? There can be. Bad attitude is still an emotion. I had such a boyfriend, but he was a bit narcissistic and he, I constantly broke up with him and sheltered him again, I felt very sorry for him, and I wanted a normal relationship. He had met me on the street, ostensibly by accident. Then my sister told me - if you continue to joke with the boy, I will come to pluck your net and call him to tell him not to deal with you. He is now happy with a woman who loves him. Another ex-friend of mine brought me flowers at every meeting, very good, but Oh! How boring, he hadn't read anything, he couldn't tell any stories, he had no opinion, no hobbies, no musical tastes, no film preferences ... - NOTHING! And again and again, under the delusion of a normal relationship, I struggled to change. And I realized that these "normal" people are a majority that in today's world imposes itself on people with greater capacity and tries to limit them in every way. Toxic connections - "get rid of the narcissist, he hurts you" does not tolerate mediocrity in general). Cigarettes - we will stick dramatic pictures on them, because everything MUST be like us, and these pictures will stop smokers from a bad habit. But none of the moralists in question think that stress is much more insidious than cigarettes, and putting such pictures in front of a smoker will increase his stress and, consequently, not only his tar consumption, but also his mortality. They call them - comfortable idiots. The whole story is marked by comfortable idiots. What am I now? I know I'm a narcissist, I know I can stuff a "normal" person and an unconscious narcissist in a box, but it doesn't give me satisfaction. It is enough for me to know who I am.

The struggle to force myself is over for me. I don't care if someone challenges me, if someone will accept me ... I do what I want and it turned out, that I longed to be inconsistent. You didn't take into account the fact that it wasn't the sadist, but the psychotherapist who did something in my soul, if I hadn't gone there, I would have hardened even more. Find a way to deliver your emotion in an alternative way, do not bother the boy with parallel relationships. He has not yet reached your stage, and may not be his. There are, yes, people trying to save people in need, this is one of the corners of Karpman's triangle. But, in my opinion, your friend's depression is due to your inconsistent behavior, sometimes you "inject" him with dopamine, sometimes you turn off his tap. Apparently he's not enough for you, he's not your man and you're torturing both of you. Find someone to correspond with you more. Stay a little alone, it's not a pain. I told you in the previous post about my current daffodil. We were in the mountains for a few days. I just came back. He is 19 years older than me. With two divorces and a sum of 20 years, which "break" his phone, I'm 40. I'm writing this in connection with several other topics on the site. In fact, I'm cheaper than paid love, I really didn't know that there is nail polish worth BGN 200, I know how to cut my nails myself and apply nail polish of  2 when I want to give him pleasure, even purely aesthetic. . :))) The incoherent inscription - be beautiful for yourself :). Well, he raised 40, 2 degrees. If he relied on paid love, we would bury him now. Then you see in his eyes a slightly more conscious narcissist - he doesn't remember removing his fever and delusions with a vinegar towel. He would not go to the doctor because he is great.

But I'm fine with him, he's almost never boring to me, he doesn't serve me like previous men, something that tires me, for me they are not full-fledged men, who obey without the will of women, even if this woman be me. I don't like it, it doesn't excite me, it's not an intellectual challenge, it's not mine. What kind of sex do you have with your guardian angel? You are not a dominatrix, after you are bound to bite the manipulations of your "girlfriend" ... How will you feel ashamed of her? Vases with flowers, I meant to notice not only the presence of a vase of flowers, not to note the skills and aesthetic sense of the decorator, the receptivity and individuality of the photographer, but something much more elementary and at the same time simple - one person liked a vase , took flowers and experienced happiness. Another person took pictures of them and remembered that moment, it was a part of his life. He experienced something while photographing these flowers. Something that is his, I don't even know how to explain it. Something like a crazy endeavor to read poetry. If you are vegan, I stop writing to you.