Hi! I'm going to start by saying I'm a 17-year-old girl. I'm studying in 11th grade and I can boldly claim to be a good student and I know what I want out of life, I'm just saying I'm learning medicine and getting used to it, I want to have a full life, a family, kids and, in general, a living. So much for dreams, I'm going to tell you about my harsh reality. Nearly a year ago, life began to slowly collapse, and for that, I am completely to blame myself. I've never been a complete girl, even if I'm tall, I'm tall, they tell me I'm beautiful, and if you see me live, you don't have a mind to go through how I see myself and what thoughts go through my mind. I don't know why, but last year(2017) I decided I had to lose weight ( I was 58/59 kg, being 178cm tall) and everything was going well. I just reduced my daily calorie intake a little bit and so slowly and "healthy" I started losing weight. How and when I do not know the idea of being even weaker was the thing that I lived and lived for today. He doesn't even have any memories of how it all started. My daily food intake began to decrease more and more and the weight with it. So in two months, i was 59kg (which was my goal), but I wasn't happy with what I was seeing in the mirror yet. I thought I was just eating too much, and that's why I'm so fat and obnoxious. I'm 52. My mother, my friends, and even not so close people as classmates from neighboring classes started telling me that I had lost a lot of weight. My jeans started hanging out, I was constantly cold and my skin was dry and cracked. My mom started shining me, where I ate in front of her (a lot) so she thought I was eating. But something went wrong. I ate everything I had at home, bought a lot of other things and so until my stomach started to hurt from overeating. And then there was the Nah-bad- GUILT. Internal pain, fear, feeling that I've lost control and the feeling of being fat, ugly, obnoxious, no one could like me like that. Of course, I gained weight ( now November I'm 55). I can't stand my reflection in the mirror. I've got episodes of overeating all the time, and then the guilt comes in, and then the desire to get everything swallowed out by my body ( and I'm overreacting- I don't throw up if that's what you thought- I use laxatives). I've had all this happen to me so often that I can't stand myself anymore. I can't control myself. Almost every week I have about two-thirds of the episodes. I don't know how to get out of this hole I'm in. I can't do anything like people anymore- I can't study, I can't sleep, I can't really have fun with my friends, I can't just live like this. I just don't know how to go on. I want this to end, I want to fight this stupid disease if I can call it that. Please someone if they have experienced something like this or if they are going through it now, let me write, let them give advice. I don't know how much longer I can take it, I can't tell my mom or anyone what I'm going through because I don't want to be a burden on anyone. I want to do this on my own, but I don't know-how. Ps: I apologize for spelling mistakes if any
1
lewdvelvet answered · June 17, 2020
Sign up for the gym with a trainer
2
ambar_cams answered · June 17, 2020
Tell your mother or father. You have to go to a nutritionist because this is very serious.
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selenna57 answered · June 17, 2020
Yes the same I was and I only that anorexia not bulimia, I went to a doctor endocrinologist diet prescribed me started eating normally 1. 68cm 48kg and everything's fine, by the way, where are you going to apply? How many hours do you study a day?
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rikki_viks answered · June 17, 2020
From the author.
I want to apply to the medical school in Sofia and I can't say I'm studying so much, about six hours a day
5
bobbybobat answered · June 17, 2020
You don't need to lose weight. You're fine for your height. If you don't like your body, just tighten it up through fitness or exercise in you. That way you'il try to distract yourself while you're improving your figure, and everything's going to be fine. Relax, there's a solution to everything, and you know you can handle this problem.
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twocumkerry answered · June 17, 2020
I've been in a situation like this, except I had anorexia. To be honest, to this day, I'm sorry I didn't talk to a psychologist at the time, I think it would have been helpful :) I can also recommend that you dig into the internet for self acceptance books