Hello, I am a 21-year-old girl. I just want to tell you something that weighs on me. I have been in a relationship for several months with a good boy from a good family-N. We met him in an inappropriate place in front of a large part of my friends and acquaintances, as well as my ex. It was love at first sight - I just fell in love with it and nothing else interested me. We started dating and for almost a month I met his parents, his friends and even his more distant relatives. Accordingly, I introduced him to ours, some of my friends, etc. In a very short time we both got very close to each other. Everything was perfect. But in the beginning, I warned him about two of my male friends, already realized and about 10 years older than me, that we are close, we go out, BUT ONLY as friends. He said there were no problems, because he also has female girlfriends to whom there is NOTHING more than a friendly interest. So time passed, everyone perceived us as a couple and everything was almost perfect. I will not go into details about how his ex and my ex ate each other out of anger and malice, how they tried to do tricks on us - unsuccessfully. One day we both commented on how we had suddenly become anti-social, how very rarely a friend remembered us and only looked for us when they benefited from us. This is atypical for me, because although I was brought up not to harass and annoy people, my phone always rang and different people thought of me, but they just wanted to see me because they liked my company. A few days ago, N. and I both had no money and decided to stay at home (we both live with our parents). We agreed to talk at some point. It so happened that my father was gone and I was with my mother. We had dinner, talked and I saw that a friend P. called me 3 times. I was very happy because I wanted to go out and we agreed that he would take me from us and have a drink. However, after I locked him up, doubts began to arise as to whether to call my boyfriend and tell him that I would go out. He wouldn't like it, he would grumble and make me cheat on him. Anyway, I didn't call him. I got better, and I went out with P. At 10. 30 N. called me to ask what I was doing and I told him that I was with a friend outside. He freaked out and told me to go out in front of the restaurant in 15 minutes. After 15 minutes I went out and he was furious. He was out of his mind! He asked me what I was doing there and told me that "I dressed very well". I told him not to make scenes and to come in and meet P. I did not lie to him that I was with colleagues or girlfriends. I wanted to be honest with him. He never showed that he was jealous, and I didn't think I would provoke such a reaction in him. Anyway ... he got in the car and left, and I came back and told P. that N. had broken me. P. told me not to take things so tragically, and I told him I wanted to go home. At that moment, P. asked me if my boyfriend was smoking because he was waiting for me in front of the restaurant. I went out, and he didn't want to talk to me or let me in the car. Then P. came out and told N. not to make scenes and not to fight, because in fact ... nothing happened and we have known each other for years. N. took me to us and said, "You're free!" I left, and he left with 200. I thought this was the last time, in which I will see him. I talked to our people, they told me that I am a free person and I do not have to explain myself and this is not infidelity or surrender. N. had called me 10 times, and he had even sent an SMS. He was waiting for me in front of us and told me that he was sorry he had lost his temper. I tried to explain to him that I was a free man and that even our people didn't care. We finally got along, but I feel he feels betrayed. At the beginning of our relationship I was more in love, I made nice gestures, I told him first that I love him. But at the moment, things seem to be changing and he shows me his feelings more often. I'm trying to tell him it's time to grow up. He can't afford to make such children's scenes for me in front of people I consider close and have known for years ...
1 baggerv51 answered
I don't think you did it honestly. I'm sorry. I also think that your various male friends have hidden intentions towards you. As you grow older, you will realize that "just friends" do not exist between a man and a woman. If a man is heterosexual and calls you 3 times to see each other - then there is one thing in mind. This does not mean that you should completely cut off contact with your friends, but in this case, for example, it would be appropriate to call your boyfriend and invite him to come with you. If he refuses (because he has no money) you tell him - Ok, I'll go out for a while and by ... I'm going home. You are not a free man once you are engaged to a man. Either you are free or you are bound - there is NO middle position !!! One day, if you get married, is that how you plan to drive it? Is that how your parents treat each other? Does your mother date other men, while your father stays at home? Are they "free people"? and if so - you have a very strange family, sorry !!! Thus, a normal relationship and family cannot exist !!!