Hello! I am 19 years old and I have a relationship with a boy of 2 years and 6 months. In the beginning everything was wonderful! I can't say that we have always understood each other, because it is normal to have light arguments, quarrels, etc. The problem is that in the beginning I wanted to go out, to see other people, to live normally like everyone our age (he is 24 years old), but because he doesn't have much money now and he didn't want us to go out! We were constantly in them, we were together almost all day, basically we did everything together! He was very jealous of me and pissed about everything - if I play cards with friends, if I look at someone (just to look at him, not to stare at him in love), if I talk to someone! I was really jealous! And it was because of his jealousy that I lost all my friends! I didn't see anyone and that's how I got used to staying alone at home! I even felt much better being at home in front of the TV than being in a restaurant! He saw that this and at one point he started wanting to go out, but alone, supposedly with friends! Good! At first we fought, I was pissed, but he started to overdo it! It gave me many reasons for jealousy and I was naturally jealous! ... This year I finished my high school education and decided to study higher, but because he also wanted to study, we decided to enroll in a university and of course I helped him enter! I helped him with his studies, I helped him with the house that is still being built, I helped him with money (even when I wasn't working - my parents gave me money to go to school, and I gave it to him and I went without money)! It's not much help, but it's still something! But I was accepted to the university in absentia, and all our problems came to him regularly and from there! He has changed a lot since he started lecturing! He stepped back, began to show nothing that he loved me, that he held on to me, that he wanted us to be together! On the contrary - he started to behave cool, we don't talk about almost anything, he demands a lot from me, and at the same time he doesn't give anything! One night he wanted to stay with his friends at university, but I didn't agree and we quarreled fiercely! I cried as a child, I prayed for him for two hours on the phone to come back and not stay with them! I was just very scared he wouldn't cheat on me! But he had never insisted so much on anything, and that worried me! I know I didn't do very right, but I felt like I was losing him, and I love him really much! He came home and we saw each other! Then I asked him why he has been behaving like this lately, what is the reason And he said that he just wanted freedom, he wanted to go out, and that he was cool with me because he wanted to teach me to be more combative, so that if we ever split up I wouldn't suffer! (provided that before only when we talked about separation and he went crazy) We talked a little and got along! The next day I found out that he had returned to his friends in the evening and had lied to me all day that he had not done so! He finally confessed, because he saw that it was pointless to lie more! But I became even more suspicious and started checking on him - I dug into his phone and computer. Of course, I found more reason to doubt and told him, and we quarreled again, but I closed my eyes again! I doubt he's cheating on me with a girl from university (I have little evidence of that), and I'm very scared! Please tell me what to do! I can't stand this tension anymore. I'm constantly nervous, I'm constantly crying, even while we're having sex I think he's imagining he's with her! I try to convince myself that he is not cheating on me, and I think nonsense, because I have "clung" to him to such an extent that I get burned by the slightest thing! Tell me what your opinion is! Please give me advice! I feel like I'm going crazy already! Thank you in advance!
1 dirtyrose666 answered
Dear girl, it is obvious that you love this boy, but ask him if he loves you, because from what I have read so far I do not think that it is so and that it never was. If he didn't appreciate what you did for him ... you helped him be accepted as a student, you helped him with money, you stopped all contact with other people because of him, etc ... what kind of love are we talking about? ?? In my opinion, he accepts you as his property, since he does not comply with your requests and wishes and, on top of everything, he has cheated on you. My advice is to part with him, not to ruin your youth with a person who does not deserve it. Leave him, start your life anew without him ... You are a student, what more wonderful than that, you have the opportunity to meet many new people and make new friends. If you don't break free from this relationship, you will continue to spin in a vicious circle ...