Beauty, Corruption And Elegant Decay

The Story

I write here because I feel I have a problem with myself, but I don't know exactly what it is and how I can correct this part of myself that is obviously a disgusting trait in my character to ALWAYS be at both extremes about the women in my life. Before I describe in detail what it is about and what weighs on me, please only people who have been / have gone through a similar stage of their lives, if they consider that they can and are willing to give advice on how to get out of such a situation. At the age of 29 I am from Sofia, I define myself as intelligent, kind, good, cheerful type, my social status is also at a high level, with a good income I am in a managerial position in a large company .. etc. SHORTLY from the side, if he looks at me talk to me a person without knowing me would surely be cruelly mistaken that I have some virtues in me. The problem is, that for some time now I have been feeling such feelings of loneliness, redundancy, boredom, misunderstanding / distrust mainly from the women in my life, which in my case is funny because I don't miss contacts with people, women, colleagues, friends a bit, but they have proven themselves over the years as such and that is enough for me, but that is how I feel as a whole is a fact. My environment is, say, moderately normal for our latitudes and for the capital in particular.

I have had a SERIOUS relationship so far in my life and a very frivolous one. My long relationship was with a beautiful and valuable woman, but unfortunately, whom I met at an inappropriate or rather immature moment in my life in which I was studying and I was mainly interested only in developing my personality and qualities and pursuing my goals. Despite everything and all the accompanying growth and development problems of two 20-year-olds, we spent 5 wonderful years together, but the end came imperceptibly for many reasons, which I will not mention now. In short, I experienced it, as people say. receives. So ... the problem comes from the fact that every next woman I meet in my life in the process of getting to know / meeting, etc. turns out to be an absolutely insolvent, empty, hollow person who is excited only by material things, clothes, rags. , malls, excursions, cars, vacations, which drives me crazy and I can't feel any tolerance / tolerance for this type of flat and insolvent people.

I had a ridiculous incident with this type of woman with whom I decided to go out NATURALLY because I like it visually liking .. we go out .. we walk back and forth for a while. . we get to know everything wonderful the next moment I invite her to a bar, but before the bar I spontaneously decide to go eat something in a big Fast Food chain in the center which was on our way to the bar, where ordering some things for both of us and sitting at the table she tells me that she was not a woman who would sit down to consume food and drinks in this type of restaurant and got up and left :) I was shocked and immediately took the necessary lessons of course. I said OK, it's my fault when I go out with pranks, I can't expect anything else, look for other types of WOMEN, stop looking at the shell/vision as a priority.

I told myself that there are more valuable things from one shell that is up to time and so began my adventure .. I decided to totally change my thinking and worldview towards the women in my life with the sole purpose of being able to find somewhere there maybe the right person for myself, as I feel mature and ready for a serious relationship and starting a family. I started going out deliberately with women who visually do not attract me in any way more unattractive and indistinguishable type of women meeting them in different places, engaging in some casual and normal conversations / subway, shops, theater, parks, mountains / nice but. I tried in every way to abstract from the vision. I started paying attention to the little things, words, gestures, way of thinking / perception, common interests, hobbies, generally pleasant things that make a normal person want to go on a date to get to know each other, BUT this of course turned out to be the wrong decision. In short .. an absolute disaster .. we go out 5-6 times we like each other mentally, we share, common topics, way of thinking, etc. I feel how sympathy for me arises, but on my part .. NOTHING is empty I don't even like to hug, I touch a woman who I don't like it visually and the logical thing happens after 5-6 such meetings, it becomes clear to the person opposite him that I have no interest and everything ends. This is repeated again and again, I have not set these things as an end in itself, but it strikes me that something is not OK for me obviously and I have a problem / hole in myself / my perceptions of women or something, in general, is just wrong in me, which it prevents me from appreciating someone who might deserve to be appreciated properly. . I emphasize that I am not a closed type, I look good, I smile, I try to support myself, I have just as much self-confidence as I can afford to have according to my ideas about it. I have no idea what type of woman I might like and does it make sense at all to keep doing pointless exercises and waste my time? I get a little bit of paragraph 22 with these things when I got there and I lie .. what do I do, what is my social status again in order to check the thinking and priorities of the person I meet and of course you remember that things quickly fell into place. Don't get me wrong, I'm a horned calf ... I've been living and taking care of myself for a long time, I'm not one of those people who stays at home and gets depressed, or I happen to be overwhelmed by the muse to write right now. I have fun and I have many hobbies and thank God I have the opportunity to practice them, but inside I feel empty facing the facts, which I mentioned above in my post and the inability to find a solution for myself. Where is the balance? Are there others like me? Is the rotten vision so important nowadays that you can get that passion that will make you later know / like / fall in love? Has everything already happened on the principle -demand / supply / -rich / poor / -good / bad What's wrong with me and where am I wrong? I thank in advance all those who will take 5 minutes of their time to read my confession with elements of light slander, but this is me and this is what weighs on me and I wanted to share. which will make you later know / like / fall in love? Has everything already happened on the principle -demand / supply / -rich / poor / -good / bad What is wrong with me and where am I wrong? I thank in advance all those who will take 5 minutes of their time to read my confession with elements of light slander, but this is me and this is what weighs on me and I wanted to share. which will make you later know / like / fall in love? Has everything already happened on the principle -demand / supply / -rich / poor / -good / bad What's wrong with me and where am I wrong? I thank in advance all those who will take 5 minutes of their time to read my confession with elements of light slander, but this is me and this is what weighs on me and I wanted to share.

Last Updated
August 08, 2020
Author:
25resul

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