I understand that man is a living being with feelings, thoughts, and emotions. But regardless of man or woman, you can not demand anything more and implicate the other person's guilt after the initial arrangement. You get nervous when someone is toying with your feelings, doesn't know what they want or lie to you to sleep with you (mostly the latter treats women), but someone by telling you they only want sex, you blame you for being "used." Listen, there's a man you can't manipulate him into having an affair with you when you let him go. The man, as long as he's honest with you, he doesn't owe you anything. There can be many reasons. Until recently, they had a difficult relationship and didn't want to embark on a new one, not like you enough for a relationship (you may be sexually attracted, but emotionally NOT, or not having common life interests and goals, but having sexual ones). I'm a woman, and I write a theme like that because I'm in a similar position. I started a sexual relationship with a man who attracts me, pleases me sexually, and I have a specific kind of desires, BUT in life, it is very opaque and misunderstood, and I would not bear anything more than sex, even closer friendship. Everyone is free at some point to stop and the other has no right to hold him accountable. I didn't lie to him, but he wants me to be his girlfriend, and these days we've had a drink. After all, if you can not have sex without feelings, do not expect sex and in the other person to create such. If I had serious feelings for a man and he offered sex without commitments, I would refuse so I wouldn't get hurt. I don't sleep with everyone either. I just have a physical need, and we've really liked this one, but it's practically manipulating me. Why are you doing this? I'm asking everyone. Why do you play used as yourself and as long as you're not lied to, I don't see where the problem is?
Answers 14
1
bigfatirishdick999 answered · June 22, 2020
Feelings may occur after you've already started with "sex only." What you don't know is how close you are to feeling and wanting to do more, if this guy you're having sex with didn't have feelings from the beginning, he was probably closer to getting emotional than you. It's never happened to me, but if I have feelings, why don't I try? I wouldn't manipulate you because it's not a good start to a relationship, but I'd try, you might want to say yes.
It's even possible for me to suggest, for example, that we go out somewhere together to have some fun, eat, go to the movies, etc. you answer, I don't share those feelings, we agreed that when one of them had feelings, we would agree and I wouldn't bother you afterwards. There are two options as a consequence: I keep my word that once they come out, we're done, which is "I wouldn't bother you afterwards" and the other option is to then be willing to reconsider and come back and say, yes, I agree. There's a third option, but he's very fragile, you tell me, No, say goodbye, and I keep courting and hitting you, here you can feel and harass you, make you nervous, get into your privacy unwanted, which if I've decided to get here and see that I'm harassing you, I'm going to have to stop right now. , but you may also like it if you are one of the girls who want to go through this before a relationship.
But if you're totally 100% no, he should be weak and not harass you. In that case, you have to make a comment that leaves no doubt about the boy that it will not become a relationship, just do not if you internally give yourself a 0.5% chance :)
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arianehughes_ answered · June 22, 2020
He knew about my feelings from the beginning, but he made this a bad deal for me. I agreed, because it was the only way to see him, kiss and touch him. I tell him I love him, I tell him with my hands and eyes.
3
edgingarab30 answered · June 22, 2020
I've never been in this situation, but I'm sure no one is going to get into such an arrangement if they think they're going to fall in love in a few months. It must happen by accident, the heart doesn't ask. It's normal when you're intimate with someone, gradually starting to get attached and imagine romance where there's actually only sex.
You wanted sex, you needed it, and you chose someone who didn't attract you emotionally at all. Rather, he wanted sex, you attracted him and agreed, without realising that your character did not emotionally repel him. The difference doesn't sound huge, but it's just like that. It happens. Sex relationships are a double-edged sword, a lot of people are cut.
Otherwise, you're right, you don't owe anybody anything. Your relationship was discussed at the beginning, the boundaries were thick and obvious, you were honest all along. You don't owe him love, nobody owes it to anyone in this life. I'd advise you not to judge him harshly, today he's in trouble, tomorrow it could be you. The man is currently affectionate, he is completely guided by his emotions and not that this justifies it, but it is an explanation. You'd better end any contact to avoid future anguish and forget about what happened.
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ilumitecloe1 answered · June 22, 2020
Usually the woman is the one who wants to change the terms, apparently the author is the exception...
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11neri answered · June 22, 2020
As a woman, I've consented to self-sex, because the moment they offered it to me, I was looking for it. One is just sex for three, four nights, let's say. But it's quite another to have sex for three, six months, for example. You'il always have something to talk about. And one of them found more in the other than just sex. That's what it's about. And what's the guarantee that you're arranging with someone for a more serious relationship? You've had them for a while, but on the other side at some point it becomes unprofitable and come on.
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nicethang answered · June 22, 2020
It's also a kind of use of living selfishness.
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zem0909 answered · June 23, 2020
Well, when you have "only sex" with someone regularly, for months, like yourself, miss yourself, talk to each other, share your life in some way - feelings appear. After all, we're human, not animals. Not to mention that they have feelings of affection, like swans, for example. However, if one has feelings and the other remains at the sex level, you better separate. Otherwise, it's not pleasant. You have expectations that can't come true, no matter what you do. I speak from personal experience. And whoever wants a relationship, let's be honest from the beginning. You bet on just sex, and then we'il see- like you're betting on a lame horse.
8
jessyyean answered · June 23, 2020
The author: Yes, he and I were just friends, and I didn't judge him, and he did. That's why I dropped the theme. At the end of the day, he understood me. I'm a woman, but that doesn't mean I'm dying for a relationship and I don't have purely physical needs. I wouldn't sleep with someone who's a bad guy with bad qualities. He's good, but we're very different and incompatible. Friends have been for years and I realised that when he was close to me he strained me with his point of view and I couldn't stay around him for long. And in bed, he does exactly what I want, I'm not going to share the fetish now, but not many people have it and practice it, and i'm attracted to what I'm physically attracted to. But women are also concerned. When I read, "all he wants is sex, he uses me." You give it, so he doesn't use you. And at least the guy told himself what he wanted, not to lie to you and then get kicked out.
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helen_willd answered · June 24, 2020
And let's start practicing it!!!
10
ilbiricchino answered · June 24, 2020
I'm in exactly the same situation as the author, and I'm angry too.
A little background: he's a friend of mine before, we get along well, but he's a little younger than me, we have such a different lifestyle that there's nowhere to go, and I don't see him at all in the future.
From the very first night, I told him that everything between us would be just sex, and not for long. He agreed, even said he only felt physical attraction, but he wasn't in love with me, so it's perfect.
Well, it's been a few weeks, and he's starting to try to get me into something more serious. He's making some attempts to surprise me, he's organizing plans for February 14th, etc. He texts me all the time during the day.
I don't feel bad about it, don't get me wrong. He's a nice guy. However, I do not want a relationship with him or anyone else at the moment (2 years ago I parted with my first love and just am not ready for anything serious again). I have other reasons not to.
I reminded him that I wanted nothing more than sex, and I told him that once he started getting attached, we'd finish so there wouldn't be any hurt. He allegedly agreed, and a few days later he started looking for me again. He doesn't take me seriously, he doesn't believe I want anything more than him and he keeps persevering at all, which is extremely tiring and disrespectful of him...
11
tttvert answered · June 24, 2020
To all who roar that you've only wanted sex, and if you see the other side is bad and guilty that there is a desire for something more - don't worry about the wheel spinning. You could be in that situation tomorrow. I'm going to ask the ladies who complain about how they only wanted sex why you didn't find a married man to a lover It would have been unlikely to want to deepen their relationship with you. And I'm not a woman, I'm a woman.
12
kara_sweet_fantasy answered · June 25, 2020
12, because we liked this particular single man. I would never interfere in other people's opinions. And you're going to tell us who to sleep with.
Otherwise, it's possible things will turn around. So what? In that case, we'il be in love and sad without intruding. (I was actually in the other role before, with my ex after he dumped me and then we got back together, but only for sex, at his request). But I'm never going to emotionally blackmail someone who doesn't want to be in touch with me. This seems mean to me, and it's not going to do any good.
13
nineinchdix answered · June 25, 2020
The author: Number 12, if you're someone's husband's mistress, it's just you. I wouldn't ruin a foreign relationship, because that's the country I was from! And if it happens to me, though I doubt it, I'm not going to blackmail the guy, as number 13 said.
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anna_muse answered · June 25, 2020
Personally, someone if it annoys me as behavior, beliefs other than my values, I would not feel the desire to go to bed with him if it were to be the most beautiful, endowed and with the strongest sexual ity. There have been instances in my younger years of recklessly engaging in sexual relationships without knowing the person better. I've stopped dealing with them at all. But perhaps the author and the other lady who comment and complain are with a male model of thinking. As people say.