As Much As I Like It So Much And I Am Ashamed Of The Fact That I Am An Outsider Of The Class And In Principle.

The Story

Hello people. Maybe the title of this story sounds silly to you, and you're wondering how anyone might like the fact that he's an outsider at all, and I don't know. When I started this school year I found a lot of friends but since the beginning of 2019 I was abandoned and since then I feel somehow good from the fact that I am an outsider and have no friends, but when I watch others talk to each other and start laughing and I I start laughing and I think I find it kind of weird to laugh alone. I also had many friends in 2017 (not from school because I was bullied at school) but they abandoned me and I was still an outsider. Somehow I enjoy sitting all day, either on the computer or on the phone, or sitting in front of textbooks. I have only 2 girlfriends, one is my age and the other is her sister, who is 2 years younger than me. They are my only friends from kindergarten, but from so many words like "don't trust them", "be careful", etc. from ours, I have already started to trust them less. It's just that our people think they are traitors because when we agree, they always say "can I have a job in 10 minutes", "come on later that I'm bored now", "let's go out another day because today I can't, I just have work "and all that, but that's not my problem. Now I will tell you my routine during the school day and weekend. During the school days I get up, get dressed and go to school alone, sometimes with my best friend, because we only go to the same school with one of my friends. After school I go home, have lunch, start writing homework and when I'm done I'm on the computer or phone. And on weekends I'm on the phone and computer on Saturdays, I write my homework on Sundays and study my lessons. Tell me, is this a normal way of life? The other teenagers are out with groups most of the time, and I don't have friends and I'm home. Is it normal to love loneliness and love to be invisible? I just love being nobody, maybe I won't change but I want to know if it's normal.

Last Updated
September 18, 2020
Author:
graysontaylor