And Now Where?-history

Hi, my story is so confusing and somehow wrong that I know where to start. In short, I am a woman of 38 years. I have been in a relationship with my friend for 8 years and since we have been together I am only his. We both went through a lot, I served for money because they still didn't have enough. I have a lot of loans and I'm sinking with each passing day. I even allowed myself to take his money, but then I returned it. He caught me and became one ... Just to clarify that we lived together then. Now everyone lives in their own house, but sometimes we meet. He told me two months ago that he no longer loved me, he had nothing to love me for. He still treats me well, but I'm afraid he does it out of pity for me. It hurt at first, but somehow I can't get away from it. I even managed to suggest that he loves me, but he doesn't want to show weakness in front of me and he doesn't know what he wants. The truth is, that I betrayed him. I really betrayed him. About two weeks ago, I teased his brother. I wrote a few text messages and he answered me. To clarify, the boy did not know that it was me. I had never experienced such tremors and flights of the mind and heart, and only from a few messages. In the end, I couldn't stand it and out of stupidity told him who he was dating. The man just hid - and he's right. Seen from another angle, it may seem that I was making fun of him. I don't even know why I did it. I think I wanted attention from my boy, but I got it from his brother. I'm naughty now and I'm afraid he won't tell him. I tried to apologize, to talk, but he stubbornly refused to talk to me. I do not know what to do. Please give me some advice. I had never experienced such tremors and flights of the mind and heart, and only from a few messages. In the end, I couldn't stand it and out of stupidity told him who he was dating. The man just hid - and he's right. Seen from another angle, it may seem that I was making fun of him. I don't even know why I did it. I think I wanted attention from my boy, but I got it from his brother. I'm naughty now and I'm afraid he won't tell him. I tried to apologize, to talk, but he stubbornly refused to talk to me. I do not know what to do. Please give me some advice. I had never experienced such tremors and flights of the mind and heart, and only from a few messages. In the end, I couldn't stand it and out of stupidity told him who he was dating. The man just hid - and he's right. Seen from another angle, it may seem that I was making fun of him. I don't even know why I did it. I think I wanted attention from my boy, but I got it from his brother. I'm naughty now and I'm afraid he won't tell him. I tried to apologize, to talk, but he stubbornly refused to talk to me. I do not know what to do. Please give me some advice. I'm naughty now and I'm afraid he won't tell him. I tried to apologize, to talk, but he stubbornly refused to talk to me. I do not know what to do. Please give me some advice. I'm naughty now and I'm afraid he won't tell him. I tried to apologize, to talk, but he stubbornly refused to talk to me. I do not know what to do. Please give me some advice.