And Now Where?-GoodGoddess

Hi, I'm a 33 year old woman. I often browse this site and decided to share my pain. When I was little, my mother divorced my father. At that time, these things were still rare, the divorced woman was immediately stigmatized by society. Anyway, after a while she found another husband and then the torment for me began. He didn't want me…, I was about 8 years old when we went to live with him and hell started for me. My mother got sick, she spent months in hospitals and health centers, and I was alone with my stepfather. He grabbed my hair and shouted in my ear - "You bastard, now I have to deal with you, if you are very nice, your father would not leave you and not look for you anymore. You are a bastard, you were born a whore and you will become a whore, that's why your grandparents don't want you… ”- and I didn't know the meaning of most of the words… Indeed, we rarely went to grandparents for a few hours - as guests at acquaintances. But it was only later that I realized that they did not agree with my mother's first marriage and for the rest of their lives refused to forgive her. So, for ten years, humiliation, harassment, I was silent, afraid to tell my mother so as not to disturb her. She recovered, they gave birth to a boy and a girl, and I became completely redundant. In front of my mother, he did not insult me, but just for a second we were alone and began - gradually "bastard" was replaced by "whore", painted my future as a prostitute in a brothel, did not allow to spend extra money on me. Whatever my mother bought me, it had to be emphasized that it was overvalued or second-hand. That didn't bother me, the terrible thing for me was the insults and the mental harassment that crippled me, and to this day I sometimes wake up screaming, dreaming of pulling my hair, pushing me against the wall and screaming at me. Now I am divorced… I have a son. Two years after the divorce, I met a man who is very kind and pleasant. He's not rich, he's not handsome, but I'm fine with him. The problem is that when I introduced them to my son, I felt at first glance that they did not like each other. My son is 8 years old and like any child he openly told me - "I don't want him, he is not my dad", my friend said - "It seems that the father did not participate in the upbringing, he is a little spoiled and wayward." And now, where ?? I don't want to be alone, I'm young, I need real life…, but I also don't want my son to live the way I lived with my stepfather. I don't know what to do so as not to hurt myself or the child. who cripples me and to this day I sometimes wake up screaming, dreaming of pulling my hair, pushing me against the wall and screaming at me. Now I am divorced… I have a son. Two years after the divorce, I met a man who is very kind and pleasant. He's not rich, he's not handsome, but I'm fine with him. The problem is that when I introduced them to my son, I felt at first glance that they did not like each other. My son is 8 years old and like any child he openly told me - "I don't want him, he is not my dad", my friend said - "It seems that the father did not participate in the upbringing, he is a little spoiled and wayward". And now, where ??? I don't want to be alone, I'm young, I need real life…, but I also don't want my son to live the way I lived with my stepfather. I don't know what to do so as not to hurt myself or the child. who crippled me and to this day sometimes wakes up screaming, dreaming of me pulling my hair, pushing me against the wall and screaming at me. Now I am divorced… I have a son. Two years after the divorce, I met a man who is very kind and pleasant. He's not rich, he's not handsome, but I'm fine with him. The problem is that when I introduced them to my son, I felt at first glance that they did not like each other. My son is 8 years old and like any child he openly told me - "I don't want him, he is not my dad", my friend said - "It seems that the father did not participate in the upbringing, he is a little spoiled and wayward." And now, where ??? I don't want to be alone, I'm young, I need real life…, but I also don't want my son to live the way I lived with my stepfather. I don't know what to do so as not to hurt myself or the child. he pushes me against the wall and screams at me. Now I am divorced… I have a son. Two years after the divorce, I met a man who is very kind and pleasant. He's not rich, he's not handsome, but I'm fine with him. The problem is that when I introduced them to my son, I felt at first glance that they did not like each other. My son is 8 years old and like any child he openly told me - "I don't want him, he is not my dad", my friend said - "It seems that the father did not participate in the upbringing, he is a little spoiled and wayward." And now, where ??? I don't want to be alone, I'm young, I need real life…, but I also don't want my son to live the way I lived with my stepfather. I don't know what to do so as not to hurt myself or the child. he pushes me against the wall and screams at me. Now I am divorced… I have a son. Two years after the divorce, I met a man who is very kind and pleasant. He's not rich, he's not handsome, but I'm fine with him. The problem is that when I introduced them to my son, I felt at first glance that they did not like each other. My son is 8 years old and like any child he openly told me - "I don't want him, he is not my dad", my friend said - "It seems that the father did not participate in the upbringing, he is a little spoiled and wayward." And now, where ??? I don't want to be alone, I'm young, I need real life…, but I also don't want my son to live the way I lived with my stepfather. I don't know what to do so as not to hurt myself or the child. but I'm fine with it. The problem is that when I introduced them to my son, I felt at first glance that they did not like each other. My son is 8 years old and like any child he openly told me - "I don't want him, he is not my dad", my friend said - "It seems that the father did not participate in the upbringing, he is a little spoiled and wayward". And now, where ??? I don't want to be alone, I'm young, I need real life…, but I also don't want my son to live the way I lived with my stepfather. I don't know what to do so as not to hurt myself or the child. but I'm fine with it. The problem is that when I introduced them to my son, I felt at first glance that they did not like each other. My son is 8 years old and like any child he openly told me - "I don't want him, he is not my dad", my friend said - "It seems that the father did not participate in the upbringing, he is a little spoiled and wayward". And now, where ??? I don't want to be alone, I'm young, I need real life…, but I also don't want my son to live the way I lived with my stepfather. I don't know what to do so as not to hurt myself or the child. where ??? I don't want to be alone, I'm young, I need real life…, but I also don't want my son to live the way I lived with my stepfather. I don't know what to do so as not to hurt myself or the child. where ??? I don't want to be alone, I'm young, I need real life…, but I also don't want my son to live the way I lived with my stepfather. I don't know what to do so as not to hurt myself or the child.