And I Will Never Give Up

Hello. M 25g. For some time now I have been following the site and reading the topics from all sections. Honestly, I'm shocked by some people's "problems." I put problems in quotes because some of them definitely complain about nonsense. If they go through what I've been through - probably half of them will take their own lives or get caught in the wrong way with drugs or drunkenness. And here's my story in a nutshell: When my mother gave birth to me some time ago - she wasn't the caring mother that is expected of every woman. She didn't cook, she didn't clean, the laundry sat in the bathroom soaked for days without bothering her ... She didn't take care of me. Eventually it became clear that she had an affair with another man and my father divorced her and I stayed with him and my grandmother during the divorce. She (my mother) had to pay alimony, from which I saw nothing. I was a year and a half old, when they divorced and she has not looked for me to this day. She didn't even call for my birthdays. I've hated her for that - my whole life. I will never forgive her for that. My father worked in two places, my grandmother also worked (this is for many years before retiring) and when they were gone and were at work - a friendly family of my father, who were our neighbors, looked after me. . When I was 15, my father got sick. He developed kidney failure .. The disease made him nervous and he just screamed, insulted and sometimes beat me (at least in the beginning - later I started to oppose him and did not let him beat me) .. But anyway - it got worse and his kidneys completely failed. He went on dialysis for several months. He finally went to the hospital and one day coming back from a teacher - my aunt met me on the road (crying) - he told me, that my father had a seizure and they failed to save him and he died ... But I am not angry with him for anything - he did not want to be bad - the disease made him angry. I forgave him a long time ago. Exactly what happened to me "broke" me very badly and changed my life. If my father had not died so early (at the age of 37) - I would have studied. To study Higher, to get a book and to have a better and paid job. After he died, I became a very troubled child. I started running away from school, I had a lot of absences - I was even about to be expelled. We had long conversations with the principal, the class teacher and the school psychologist. In the end, however, I realized in time and the last 2 years as a teacher I spent them without being absent and increased my success. They didn't exclude me because they knew what I was going through and they took the situation more lightly. I graduated (average total) and started working. Now I live with my grandmother. She looked at me until I was 18 and started making money working alone. Now I help as much as I can at home, because she is also sick and I honestly don't know how much longer she will be there. She is 74 years old. She can barely walk. That's the only reason I didn't move to live on my own ... I've always taken work seriously and I work hard, because that's what life has taught me and I want to prove that I can and want to achieve something. I have some colleagues at work who always wonder where I get so much energy to do not only my work, but also to help. Even if I finish mine, I never stay. I help where I can and I work willingly. I told myself that no matter what happened - no matter how many times I fell - I would stand up and continue, albeit stubbornly. I try to look at things optimistically and when, for example, something arises (whether in life or at work) I do not accept it as a difficulty but think of it as a challenge and I am ready to face it boldly. For example, at work, if a difficult day is emerging (in the sense of large orders and difficult), I do not accept it as a job, but rather as a training that hardens me and makes me stronger. So I think and thinking so - I go through it easier. This is my story - quite painfully true .. And when I read how someone complains, for example, about a pimple on the ass or that "met a witch in Germany" or "how to clear the history of the net" Are you serious....? Are these your problems ...? Wow ... For example, at work, if a difficult day is emerging (in the sense of large orders and difficult), I do not accept it as a job, but rather as a training that hardens me and makes me stronger. So I think and thinking so - I go through it easier. This is my story - quite painfully true .. And when I read how someone complains, for example, about a pimple on the ass or that he "met a witch in Germany" or "how to clear the history of the net"? Are you serious....? Are these your problems ...? Wow ... For example, at work, if a difficult day is emerging (in the sense of large orders and difficult), I do not accept it as a job, but rather as a training that hardens me and makes me stronger. So I think and thinking so - I go through it easier. This is my story - quite painfully true .. And when I read how someone complains, for example, about a pimple on the ass or that "met a witch in Germany" or "how to clear the history of the net"? Are you serious....? Are these your problems ...? Wow ... ? Are these your problems ...? Wow ... ? Are these your problems ...? Wow ...