I lived for 18 years in a family with constant scandals, beatings of me, drunken fairs of my father and the constant talk of my mother that I caused it, that's why I ate a fight. I was constantly humiliated that no one would come out of me and beaten. I also experienced the drama of my mother and brother suffering from it. I also had a difficult puberty - I was even kidnapped by various boyfriends and bad companies. Nevertheless, I was one of the best students in one of the best high schools in our city. When one day I sat down and talked to my mother that if she didn't divorce my father, I would grab my luggage and run as far as possible. And so it happened. My mother told me that she loved us all and that she could not lose a man because he supported her. Six months later, I grabbed my luggage and ran 3,000 km from God, to my child's current father. Of course, I chose the most inappropriate man for me. I got pregnant abroad. We started fighting there. And despite the fact that I had caused hellish stress to my mother and my whole family by running away from us and living 1 year away from them, my mother did not stop looking for me. I returned from abroad alone at 6 months of my pregnancy. I spent an evening at home, and at dinner I shared the reason why I ran away. The next day my father kicked me out and I went to live with my mother and grandfather. I lived in them until my husband entered God, days before the birth of our child. We went out to the apartment and everything seemed to be normal until I realized that he was lying to me and pulling money to cover his debts from a mosquito. And I experienced this with a small baby, we lived hard, there was no money, despite the fact that mine worked for my grandfather in construction. He worked illegally, because he himself was illegal. There was a black stamp and a ban on entering Bulgaria until 2012. Hell of a stress, not just for him, but for me. We lived in a dormitory for six months, until our people decided to buy us a small apartment. And when we moved there, things got even worse. We started arguing more, the cucumber got stronger. My child was 6 months old when I was accepted to study higher education. I walked in absentia. I tried not to think about all the problems. At the same time, I supported my family with the help of my relatives. My husband kept brazenly telling me that I was to blame for everything, I wasn't a good housewife, etc. Mostly these were his remarks to me. I told him that it was very difficult for me to be a student and to look after a child and to have problems with him as well. I went through hard years. I started working, my child was 2 and a half years old. But that didn't reassure me. I started changing jobs often because something was still weighing on me there. It so happened that for 5 years of work experience I changed 6-7 places and large and rich company in a good position. I moved from place to place without having an interruption of the internship. I was always running from something. But I was easily taken because I am "beautiful, smart and ambitious" - in the words of my bosses. However, with each passing day, my relationship with my husband became worse. Besides the lies you can't forgive him, one day my child will beat me. I experienced this the hardest. It was entirely his fault, and yet I suffered. During this time, while I lived with him and had a lot of things on my head, at least I was doing well at work, my employers were in a great mood, except that most of them liked me in another way. However, now that I have finished my master's degree, my nerves somehow couldn't stand it. My brother also had some nervous breakdowns. I think of him too. I have been working at a new job for 4 months now and I still miss or make mistakes, but I am a perfectionist and I take these mistakes seriously. At home I have almost no intimate relationship with mine. When he returned from work, he left anyway. I'm desperate. I live without love, in the sense that even though it has caused me a lot of pain, I still somehow love my husband. He is rude to me, arrogant does not show me any feelings and especially when I need a man's shoulder, he is not there. We started from nothing together. With a lot of effort I created all the normal living conditions for him. I painted the whole house, I bought him a car, which he ruined and finally sold it in parts, without my knowledge, and he lied to me for two years, that she was a master. There are thousands of things. And in the end I feel bad. I guess you can't understand me because you don't know things in detail ... But I don't feel well ...
1 cinemaficcio answered
Thanks to the Author for sharing her story. The conclusion - "He who does what he does for himself." The author is not unhappy for me, but an unhappy and naive woman. Like most Bulgarian women, she thinks that by marrying some garbage abroad, giving birth to a 19-year-old child, life will be settled. The illusion is that only now is the bad ground. Who is to blame - partly the parents of such girls. The author is not to blame here, but the nonsense she has broken up after 18 years has ruined the rest of her life? Whatever he does, if he wants to enroll 100 graduates - life? has failed.