Am I To Blame?-nouredinebedoui

I turned out to be a mistress too, but before you blame me, I want you to read my story. I am a liked woman. I met love very young, in 10th grade. A nice boy, he held on to me, bought me presents, and even if I refused, he was angry. We complemented each other, and in the end I felt dumb. I don't know if I was too young or if he didn't do the right thing. But we broke up. And so I started looking for a new love. And God loves me, he gave me a chance again. A beautiful, boy in love, and so did I, and where the love went, where it evaporated after 2 years, it was gone. And I struggled, I struggled for another 2 years, I lied to him, and finally I decided not to lie anymore and I let him seek his luck and mine. I wanted to love not only to be loved. And so from relationship to relationship, I loved, but I was hurt, I deserved it, I don't argue. And as always, what you hate comes to your head. I have always condemned women and what happened to such a woman. He was not married when I met him, his fame as a playboy spread throughout our small town. But this boredom in this small town and the depression that haunted me pushed me to it. He didn't ask me directly if I wanted to marry him, only indirectly, but knowing what he was pretending to be frivolous and how not, with one call a week it was very clear that I was looking for a more serious man. But it turned out that the serious candidates very quickly ruined the relationship for various reasons. And this frivolous playboy didn't give up on me. Get married, I'm sick, but at least I thought I'd get out of town and get married, he'll stop calling me. But not. He didn't stop. And since I didn't have another man on hand, what to do, a woman needs a man, I accepted him. But I stopped looking for the "serious". And so connection after connection, failure. This married man stopped looking for me for 2 years. I had even forgotten it. And suddenly again - on the horizon. And I'm a woman with needs - I hate to know, but without a man a woman can not. I hate seeing his wife. I tried for more than 10 years not to fall in love with him anymore, I looked for other men and found them, but even the bachelors are the same, they give you the same attention as the married ones. So much frustration with "bachelors" from men with "serious intentions". And what turned out to be a "non-serious playboy" is more serious than any other. And I shut him up, and I ran away from him and he was looking for me again. I know, I'm the perfect mistress. I don't want anything, no restaurants, nothing. I myself am not deprived of life. I think I lived a long time, restaurants, discos and even shouted in front of colleagues "Aman from restaurants" Not to mention discos, I'm tired of them. So I'm still looking for a serious partner, but I know I won't find her or if I find her (I hope I'm lucky) maybe I'll always regret the playboy, I don't know if I was in his wife's place how would I Feel. NOT GUILTY. IF I DIDN'T BE THE OTHER I WOULD BE. HE ALWAYS SEEKS AND OFFERS WHICH BEAUTIFUL WIFE TO ALMOST HAVE OFFERED ALMOST ALL MY FRIENDS. BUT UNFORTUNATELY I CATCHED HIS TRAP. AND SO IT TURNED OUT THAT I CAN RELY ON HIM WHEN I AM LATE FOR MEN. HOW TO BLAME I DIDN'T WANT IT BUT IT WAS. I'M SUCKING. IT'S NOT GOING TO DIVORCE. I HOPE GOD SEND ME A CONSCIOUS MAN TO STOP. BUT, ALAS. MAYBE I AM NOT AWARE. MAYBE I'M GUILTY. but I know I won't find her or if I find her (I hope I'm lucky) maybe I'll always regret the playboy, I don't know if I was in his wife's place how I would feel. NOT GUILTY. IF I DIDN'T BE THE OTHER I WOULD BE. HE ALWAYS SEEKS AND OFFERS WHICH BEAUTIFUL WIFE TO ALMOST HAVE OFFERED ALMOST ALL MY FRIENDS. BUT UNFORTUNATELY I CATCHED HIS TRAP. AND SO IT TURNED OUT THAT I CAN RELY ON HIM WHEN I AM LATE FOR MEN. HOW TO BLAME? I DIDN'T WANT IT BUT IT WAS. I'M SUCKING. IT'S NOT GOING TO DIVORCE. I HOPE GOD SEND ME A CONSCIOUS MAN TO STOP. BUT, ALAS. MAYBE I AM NOT AWARE. MAYBE I'M GUILTY. but I know I won't find her or if I find her (I hope I'm lucky) maybe I'll always regret the playboy, I don't know if I was in his wife's place how I would feel. NOT GUILTY. IF I DIDN'T BE THE OTHER I WOULD BE. HE ALWAYS SEEKS AND OFFERS WHICH BEAUTIFUL WIFE TO ALMOST HAVE OFFERED ALMOST ALL MY FRIENDS. BUT UNFORTUNATELY I CATCHED HIS TRAP. AND SO IT TURNED OUT THAT I could count on him when I was late for men. HOW TO BLAME? I DIDN'T WANT IT BUT IT WAS. I'M SUCKING. IT'S NOT GOING TO DIVORCE. I HOPE GOD SEND ME A CONSCIOUS MAN TO STOP. BUT, ALAS. MAYBE I AM NOT AWARE. MAYBE I'M GUILTY. HE ALWAYS SEEKS AND OFFERS WHICH BEAUTIFUL WIFE TO ALMOST HAVE OFFERED ALMOST ALL MY FRIENDS. BUT UNFORTUNATELY I CATCHED HIS TRAP. AND SO IT TURNED OUT THAT I CAN RELY ON HIM WHEN I AM LATE FOR MEN. HOW TO BLAME? I DIDN'T WANT IT BUT IT WAS. I'M SICK. IT'S NOT GOING TO DIVORCE. I HOPE GOD SEND ME A CONSCIOUS MAN TO STOP. BUT, ALAS. MAYBE I AM NOT AWARE. MAYBE I'M GUILTY. HE ALWAYS SEEKS AND OFFERS WHICH BEAUTIFUL WIFE TO ALMOST HAVE OFFERED ALMOST ALL MY FRIENDS. BUT UNFORTUNATELY I CATCHED HIS TRAP. AND SO IT TURNED OUT THAT I could count on him when I was late for men. HOW TO BLAME? I DIDN'T WANT IT BUT IT WAS. I'M SICK. IT'S NOT GOING TO DIVORCE. I HOPE GOD SEND ME A CONSCIOUS MAN TO STOP. BUT, ALAS. MAYBE I AM NOT AWARE. MAYBE I'M GUILTY.