Am I Mentally Ill?

The Story

I am writing here for the first time. I don't know how history begins in principle, but I start by reading similar problems to mine, but I can't hide it in myself and I want to share it with you. I'm ashamed to talk to people, in the store when I order something during the big break I'm so quiet that the sellers make me repeat what I said at least 2 or 3 times. When I see someone I do not greet him because I am ashamed. Sometimes that's why they call me rude. When they test me I barely open my mouth and I don't say what I think and when I say the wrong answer then I say the right one and out of shame I sometimes say "I'm wrong" and a girl starts making fun of me and yells "oh so" and I'm just like I started to be too ashamed, I don't know where to look out of shame, but I've been in the habit of looking down for a week. When someone in my class calls to ask me something, I say it quietly, and when they ask me what I said, I am so ashamed that I turn around and start rummaging in my phone or looking somewhere. Yes, even when I wrote it, I thought what a rude person I was. I have a terrible character. I can't have a conversation with people and when I start a conversation I start saying strange things and lying a lot so that they don't think I'm totally antisocial psycho. I don't know why I'm like that. I'm afraid to talk to people. The girls keep asking me why I'm like this and I just leave the room, and the boys rarely harass me in any other way. They keep touching my shoulder behind my back and sometimes startle me by making noises.

I get scared and when they see that I'm scared they do it again. In the old school they made fun of me for my personal problems and because of some of my relatives they invented nicknames for me and I just told them to "shut up" but they didn't hear me. I've always been bullied, now in the new school just because I'm shy, rude and scared at the very least. I act like I have a social phobia or social anxiety. I always avoid talking to people and when I have to talk to someone I am tormented by the thought that I have to talk to someone. When they talk to me, I act strange as if I'm mentally ill and I'm already wondering if I'm mentally ill. I always avoid talking to people and when I have to talk to someone I am tormented by the thought that I have to talk to someone. When they talk to me, I act strange as if I'm mentally ill and I'm already wondering if I'm mentally ill. I always avoid talking to people and when I have to talk to someone I am tormented by the thought that I have to talk to someone. When they talk to me, I act strange as if I'm mentally ill and I'm already wondering if I'm mentally ill.

Last Updated
September 28, 2020
Author:
laura_pu5ini

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