Aerophobia

I do different things in flight. Reading a book, listening to music, scribbling in some little notebook and stuff like that. I'm scared, too, and I'm just trying to fill my time. The other thing is, I don't pick a seat by the window and look at it. That kind of helps me. The last time I listened to music, I was scratching myself on an app on my phone.

I've always been very afraid of flying, it only helps me with alcohol, but you don't want to drink. You say you're afraid of fear itself. I was afraid of death. I was afraid the plane would fall and die. Now in time, as I've flown a lot, I can already say that I'm not so scared, but again in turbulence, my blood freezes and I imagine falling. At least five or six times, unknown neighbors on the ground held my hand to comfort me. It helps me talk to them because that's how I look away. Looking ahead to the cockpit, and imagining this machine where it is, and how unnatural it is to be there, it makes me very sick. I can be put to measure degrees and azimuth, so I can feel every move. I can't get up to go to the bathroom because, even though I know it's not true, I'm worried about balancing the plane. I'm annoyed at everyone who gets up three times to pee in an hour and a half of a flight. So if you're afraid of death like me, here's the advice. I spoke to a psychiatrist, and that's his guess: You must have a lot of self-esteem, you think you're always right and you like to control things. It's hard for you to feel sorry for, and you want to make sure everything goes the way you think it's right. But it's not, there's no guarantees of anything, and you could die, and the plane could fall, and you have no control over that. Now, that's clear, but the question is how to make it easier for you, that otherwise it's monstrous torture. And for myself, apart from the alcohol in question, or instead of it, I start auto-sousugstia - I start telling myself how brave I am, how cool I am, and how I face fear, and how many great things I've accomplished, and there's no reason to think fate will want to punish me with death in a plane crash. 'Cause I'm thinking about how I made mistakes, and now they're going to deal with me. In short, I'm trying to get rid of my little-natured superstition, and believe. To believe there's someone or something who knows better than me. And yes, if she thought it was the end of me now, so be it. I can't say I've mastered that fear, but it's definitely getting easier. They're sorry, in short. I don't know who, if we're going to fall, on the way back, so at least I've seen something from where I'm going. I've flown dozens of times, and only 2-3 for a break. Everything else in business. I'm pumping my self-esteem, even though I'm scared. How my father would be proud of me. That helps me a lot.