Comments
2 steveo answered
I will just say that they are not good with the new family, every day there were beatings between him and his wife ... nothing different, but I was not interested in details. I just don't want to, I hear comments that I don't get to work sometimes.
3 kristin1105 answered
Author, I'm sorry, but it's largely your fault for what happened to you. I'm not talking about childhood - then you had no control. I also lived in a family where there was violence. And I still have it, but I haven't lived with my parents for 10 years. I became independent, found a job, moved out, graduated from university. Any men who could potentially touch me, I sifted them very quickly. The first thing I do in a new relationship (after the initial acquaintance period) is to test the levels of aggression. Although I do not approve 100% of the first comment, they tell you correctly - make the man angry, get him drunk, go somewhere where he has to do housework - so you will know if you will fit. Well, some pretend well, but the pretense is up to date. I currently live with a person who loves and respects me, and would never, but would NEVER touch me. It's a pity for your child, you don't give him a very good environment and these emotional wounds are difficult to heal. Try to behave civilly with your father in front of him, and let him observe his days of visitation, as according to the court decision. I don't think he loves you, you hurt his pride. Fight more, give your daughter more so you don't get reprimanded after 20 years!
4 lapartestranadellinternet answered
To number 2: your opinion just threw me into chess. There are a lot of logical things and reliable information in it, but for other things I just don't know which planet you come from ... Father and alcoholic, aggressive, beats, "nights fly ..." He smears and aggressive, crushes and beats ... And you say - that they have as many positive as they have negative qualities !!! Well, yes, but they are not equal in strength. For a loan taken, it will not endanger her life and that of her child ... No one should sit in such a situation. The author has correctly oriented herself and got out of this situation. What exactly happened to these people and why they got there is not her problem. She is responsible only to her child. And if this is your idea of love: "Not to mention the threats that if I had found another, it would have broken my caps."
1 andreeacristina answered
I'm sorry for what happened to you, but you're very wrong in your emotional perceptions and your main problem is there. First for your father, you are not aware of the root cause of his actions. Do you answer the question why he had scandals with your mother and why he constantly sought support from foreign women, even perceived them as your future mothers? Why does he live well with his new family today? I'm not saying that your mother is entirely to blame, the reason for his behavior can be found in his parents. If your mother was not his wife, why did he start a family and a child with her, if she was, what has changed in her behavior so that he can go and quarrel with her and seek solace from other women. For your ex-husband, you answered yourself, "I was angry with myself for being in the same situation I was running from." First you looked for a similar situation, and luckily you found someone who could offer it to you. When two people get together to live together, you need to look not only at the sexual attraction, but at life from all its aspects, so you are given time to be boyfriends before marriage. Wanting to have a serious relationship ending in marriage with a person, you must experience all his behaviors in different situations. The limit of tolerance is different for everyone! The blame for marrying a man who does not care about domestic cleanliness is in you, did you think that after marriage he will become a great cleaner? In a new promising relationship, try Drink it to see if his drunken behavior irritates you or is tolerable, make him angry to see how much he breaks and if it irritates you, go with him on a week-long vacation to a self-service hut and see how much he will go down to help in the household and whether it is enough for you and whether he would take over everything else throughout your life together and so on. Although your story is not very detailed, I see both negative and positive qualities in the men in your life. Here I believe that you read me in disbelief, but there are facts that reveal quite good qualities, both in your father and in your ex-husband. The fact that your husband took out a family loan, offered to use something family before you could afford it, shows that he thought a lot about your comfort, the fact that he paid it off himself, says that he can take responsibility and not play on the computer 24/7 and it works, the fact that it keeps you from having another relationship with a man after your divorce, tells us that even after the divorce he loves you and he does not know why you asked for a divorce, the fact that after he called you that he wanted to see you and after the refusal he came and he was with you, says that he knew where and when he found you, he called out of respect, he was angry at your lie that you were busy, he came to show that he knew you were lying to him, he hardly jumped into a fight from the door, most likely after a verbal scandal he jumped into a fight. But anyway, it's all over, you just have to rethink it to realize it. Your problem today is that as an adult you expect help from your parents, even though it is time for you to help them. We want to live as Europeans, but there are rarely those of us who want to take the responsibility of European people, we want our parents to consider us small children up to 40 years of age. See Europeans, they are cared for until adulthood and most parents take his old car if he takes a book. If he gets married, the European does not expect to be provided with a family home, nor to buy him anything, nor to take his children from the garden. I recently spoke with a 55-year-old German woman, asked if she was sending birthday presents to her 32-year-old son and her two young grandchildren, she said she was sending her son 50 euros in the mail and giving the grandchildren 20 euros each. times a year. As a Bulgarian, I decided that the sums were too small for her 3,200 euros monthly income, she definitely thought that the sums were enough and that she did not need to walk 800 km to celebrate family occasions with her son, but he as a son was obliged to attends Christmas at home with his family. Can you imagine your parents in Bulgaria having requirements for you to travel 1600 km to go to them for the holiday, and to give you only BGN 100 per year, and your children BGN 120 per year? It is interesting to the author who prescribed your daughter a house and why this person does not trust you and why this person expects your daughter not to live as a European and to provide for herself in the future?