A Relationship Or A Game Of Ego

A very confused 19-year-old girl writes to you, who is obviously involved in a big movie. I'll start from the beginning ... It all started in December. We met my boy next to his brother. He is 24 and a very handsome man that all the girls in town know and want. In the beginning we just kept in touch, I went to where he worked, just to see him. The conversations with him were very pleasant. One night we decided to meet for coffee and after the end he sent me to him and kissed me. Apparently that was the beginning. Everything was a little strange to me at first. Most of the people around him are mostly drunkards, light girls. He works in a hotel and such people stay there constantly. And not to mention the number of his girls in the past ... I'm a girl who doesn't know many people, simply because I'm mainly interested in myself, mutters and things like that I don't want to know at all. I've hardly been with boys. I just value myself and I can't be with everyone. But the only thing he can talk about are his various clients as prostitutes, how many girls liked him, who he was with, who he was, who made his money, legally or not. And how proud he is of himself. It really didn't give me reason to doubt that I was the only one for him. He wanted us to go everywhere together, he was proud to be with me. He claimed that the feeling of being with me was unique. He just knew that unlike the other girls, I was really his and only his. And so far no one has had me like him. He said that at the age of 24 he wanted to have a serious girl next to him and to be really devoted to her, because this is already a period in which you have to look at life seriously. But I was a little afraid of him. Given his environment, I didn't know if he would hurt me or not, and I was always withdrawn. I didn't tell him I wanted him, that I missed him, that I was feeling something. I just thought he was a player. And that's why, to a certain extent, we fought constantly. Although inwardly I was dying for him. For the first time I was madly in love. He was often angry about some trifles - why I slept a lot, what I did, he always wanted me to agree with him, because he is wiser and more mature and has more experience in life. One night, just before Christmas, we went to a disco and there he was constantly going out somewhere with his friend. They always went to the toilet and came back after 4-5 minutes and so on several times. In the end, my girlfriend and I decided to go and see what they were really doing, but it turned out that they were not in the toilet, nor outside. We are back, and they were standing at the table - obviously we had passed each other somehow. But apparently they hadn't noticed we weren't there at all. He had neither written to me nor called to see where we were, nor anything. Then my girlfriend and I went out in front for a while to see some of her acquaintances, and when we went back, we noticed how my man and his friend were leaving !? !? They said that they would come to us and go to the next restaurant, that it was more fun there. I said I was thinking of going home already, we had agreed to sleep at home, but he convinced me that they would have a beer and we left. We went inside and where they got stuck - we got lost. I called, I called - no one answers. I wrote - the same thing. Finally I saw him talking to an acquaintance and he didn't notice that I wasn't there at all. I asked him if he was looking at his phone, and he asked me - Why, did you call me? Whatever, we stood at a table and sat waiting for him to drink his beer, and he danced and was in no hurry. I asked him to leave because I was very tired, and he said he wanted to finish his beers and we left, but I got annoyed and told him I was leaving, and he said that when he finished he would come home. I came home alone at 3 o'clock at night and went home to wait for him. ... At one point I woke up, I had fallen asleep while I was waiting for him and I saw that it was 6:00 and he was gone. It never came. I decided not to look for him, I would not be further humiliated, but the strange thing was that he did not look for me. And so a day, two, three, a month, two ... I didn't understand what was happening and what was happening. There was no goodbye or anything. Apparently it was just a game of stubbornness. But I wouldn't be ashamed to look for him, considering I'd been waiting for him all night. I had a very difficult time. Mostly that nothing was clarified between us. I wanted to have at least one conversation and find out forever whether we are together or not. He had removed me from friends on Facebook, far from any contact with me at all. And he usually changes his phone number with his previous girlfriends after they broke up, everything. And he never comes back. One day, three months later, he called me. He thought of me, his family kept telling him how decent and good I was, and he regretted that things had turned out that way. There were many unresolved conversations between us. He had not slept with another during this time. Although a friend of mine who had him as a friend sent me a picture of him uploading him kissing another girl. But he said he only went out with her a few times. I told him that something was unlikely to happen between us again. Damn, I just forgot about him. Still, he kept caring about me, how I was, what I was doing. I honestly didn't expect it. He is usually a proud man and would not do so, and even after my first refusal I thought that he would hurt his dignity even more and would not look for me anymore. I tried to convince myself that I did not want this man in my life, but inwardly I knew that I wanted him very much .... And on his name day I looked for him. I told him I had something very important to tell him. It was very difficult for me, but I admitted to him that I never stopped thinking about him and that he was actually the first person I loved and wanted by my side. I've never revealed my feelings before, and I just decided it was time to try to break up. We talked and that's how we got together. He even stopped seeing his friends, he spent every free minute for me, and in bed we fit perfectly, I would say. But here comes this BUT !!! He gave me all his time and everything to make me happy, but he demanded that what he was deprived of, I should be deprived of. Although I even insisted on seeing my friends because I wanted him to feel free and happy with me, not as a prisoner. He was angry when he saw a friend, even my mother when I went out, when I slept late and didn't write to him or went to bed too early. When we were sent away from school, I had no problem being with my classmates at a restaurant and a disco, but in the evening he also came to the disco with his company. They were at a separate table, but they were still there. When a boy from the class approached me for a split second, I saw my boy already with us and started arguing with him. He wanted to beat him, he said that no one but him could touch me. Maddened by the thought, that someone is touching me. The guards took him out of the restaurant, and I was worried. I went to look for him and found him on the stairs, where he said he did not want to talk to me. Then I left with a few people and he caught up with me, he was right in front of the entrance of the restaurant and there were a lot of people. He took my hand and wanted to hug me, many times insisting on hugging him in front of everyone. He asked me to stay with him, but I refused, pulled away, and went home. I expected December evening to happen again and he would never look for me again, but in the morning he did. We talked, I explained everything to him. Everything seemed to be fine. I talked to him a lot about everything all the time and gradually he started to relax and not cause me problems when I see friends, he allowed me to go out. The change was great. But there was one big problem. When we broke up with him in the winter, I took a job at sea with people I worked for last year. The job is exactly what I dream of and what I want to study. I had accepted and had two months to leave. I was just supposed to be there in July and August. First, that I didn't want to give up because it's my dream job. Secondly, these are very honest and accurate people who provide experience, experience, good pay, insurance - everything. He insisted on finding me a job in our city - completely different from mine, but if I wanted the money, I could work near him. I explained to him that it was not about the money, I just rarely get such an offer for a job that gives me pleasure. And I know how difficult it is to find quality workers and I didn't want to fuck people at the last minute and tell them - "I won't come, find another one" ... and to do it for the sake of a man with whom I cannot know whether we will be together the next day or not. I thought that if he loved me he would really wait for me and let me do what would make me happy. He didn't want me to leave at all, we quarreled all the time, he wanted us to be together, to give me everything during that time, to get even closer, but in the end I left. However, I agreed to compromise with myself and at the risk of getting angry with me from the hotel, I said that I would not leave on July 1, but on 15. To have more time with my boy and even be able to go with him on a week rest. We had a great time there. We got along perfectly, I didn't even feel like leaving. But it struck me that he was a little annoyed when I wanted to hear my mother. I didn't think to hear from other people because he insisted that when we're together it's ugly to use our phones and chat with other people, even just to see how they are. In 7 days I have probably heard from my mother 4-5 times in 2-3 minutes. And once my father called, the question was, "What does he want, can't he do it himself?" Anyway ... it's time to go to sea. We had talked about no quarrels, arguments that everything would be fine between us. But he found something to pick on me every day, he told me to let him find it, he didn't want such a relationship. For example, he writes me something about what I do, I answer him in 15 minutes, and he starts why I don't answer him right away, what I do so much, who I talk to or write to, to work and not bother him ... Then I tried to I answer him right away, I tried to write to him often, and he started to get angry at what I was doing at this job, as I sit on the phone all day and what am I looking for there, as well as I can sit on the phone at home. I didn't do my job well in trying not to make him feel abandoned. And this was clear. The bosses kept reprimanding me for being distracted, etc. In the middle of the work process, I took a three-day break because he and I had been invited to a wedding. No one was resting, but at the risk of getting out badly, I asked for them and they let me go. It cost me quite a solid amount to go all those miles, for a dress, a haircut, etc., but I wanted to be with him. He was waiting for me at the bus station, expecting that I would not return to the sea, but I told him that I had to return for another week, I just had to stay at least until the end of the season, I could not leave in mid-August. Just another 7 days. His mother was also present at the wedding, there she started telling me various things, that everything was thanks to her, that he was with me thanks to her, that I went on vacation with him thanks to her, that I was even at the wedding thanks to her. And that kind of whether I will be with him or not, again depends on her. I felt very dumb and called him aside and told him this thing, which he was very angry with and went to her to ask for her account and to protect me, but I managed to convince him that it was not right to do it, I just wanted to let her know what she had said to me, and that if I treated her differently, I should not wonder why I had such an attitude. Returning to her at the table, she was quite drunk and started slapping him in front of all the guests, pulling me by the arms. Calling us anyway, a woman crashed into the chairs, she fell. They barely held her back. He told me, that I was not welcome in them, and then she laughed at me in front of all the guests and said that her daughter-in-law would ask her to enter them. The wedding was over, we went home and it was time to come back for the last 7 working days, my man and I were supposed to talk that everything was fine, then we were always together, there was no problem, but he told me that his mother had told him that I would never be there, I would still be traveling somewhere, not to be with him and he obviously believed her, she quarreled with me and for 4-5 days she was not looking for me at all. Finally I realized that they decided to go on vacation with her for 3 days near our city and I wrote to him, if he wants to come to me for one night, to take me from work and sleep with me, and the next two days to them we spend with him and his mother. He agreed and came to me for one night. I had prepared. I had taken expensive wine, food, room I had prepared. And the next day we go to her. I tried to forget everything that had happened to her, but she greeted me at the door with the question of whether we would fight. It was a joke, but ... Those two days were a complete nightmare. She tried to command anyway. From exactly which toothpaste to brush my teeth with, he made me eat various foods, even drank the rest of our wine. On the beach, he was angry that I had made a towel and we were not lying on a common sheet. She insisted on using her hair dryer, bathing with her shampoo. In the evening he would come into our room and put us to sleep, in the morning to wake us up ... worse than the children. One night he got drunk and threatened me with police and blood. She said she killed for the child. And I was very scared because she really did dirty things to his ex-girlfriends. Ever since we got home, he's been sleeping at home all the time, but he is angry why I do not sleep with them. I told him I wouldn't go because of his mother. And he protects her, as if she treated everyone like that. And I don't want to go to her house. I want to be together, sleep together and wake up together, but in them while she is there, I will not step. Which he stopped talking to me about. He said such a connection could not. I couldn't help but want to sleep in them, if he drove me, then he would make sure everything was fine. And I have dignity. The other thing that scares me a lot is that he constantly teases me that he is almost 25 and most of his peers have families and children and it is time for him, because when he turns 29-30 it would be too late, and and desire was killed. And I'm not ready for kids. Now I have only the first year to study higher education. Job, career. Even the thought of children scares me. And when he talks about it and I say there's time or something, he gets angry that I've talked about it like it's something I never want to have if I don't want to have children from him. - Good to tell him. And things like that. We fight over some super little things. For example, he was at work that night and he was angry that I told him I was going to bed at 11 and he said he would have a job the next day and there would be no time for me. I said it well, and during the day I found a lot of work to do, and then he got mad at me for not calling him. Like I didn't want to go anywhere with him. I don't want to spend time with him. He still slept at home last night. I told him that I had given my last money to buy products to make him breakfast, and he didn't even get up and come to the kitchen. I was guilty, because I was sullen at night and did not call him. In the end, he doesn't even realize he's wrong. And it constantly makes me guilty. There are many things I can tell, but I just won't have enough time for everything. I feel somehow that he is not the person for me, maybe, but I have feelings for him and I am afraid to end, and I am not happy at all. There are quarrels every day. The only love in bed is, I would say, and that's it. And I don't know if I put an end, his mother and he will react. They are very aggressive people and they are not interested in anything. They even like to make people dirty. How could I get out of the situation and deal with this person? What do you think? but I just won't have enough time for everything. I feel somehow that he is not the person for me, maybe, but I have feelings for him and I am afraid to end, and I am not happy at all. There are quarrels every day. The only love in bed is, I would say, and that's it. And I don't know if I put an end, his mother and he will react. They are very aggressive people and they are not interested in anything. They even like to make people dirty. How could I get out of the situation and deal with this person? What do you think? but I just won't have enough time for everything. I feel somehow that he is not the person for me, maybe, but I have feelings for him and I am afraid to end, and I am not happy at all. There are quarrels every day. The only love in bed is, I would say, and that's it. And I don't know if I put an end, his mother and he will react. They are very aggressive people and they are not interested in anything. They even like to make people dirty. How could I get out of the situation and deal with this person? What do you think? They even like to make people dirty. How could I get out of the situation and deal with this person? What do you think? They even like to make people dirty. How could I get out of the situation and deal with this person? What do you think?